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Clips from The Monkees - The Chaperone (S01E01)

"Why, of course. You boys know your landlord understands problems of youth."
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"- Oh, Mr. Babbit! - Thank you, Mr. Babbit."
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"Oh, of course. Now, how long do you figure this party's gonna last?"
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"- Four hours? - About four hours?"
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"- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Let me see, now."
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"Four hours. That's, uh, four hours, two dollars an hour."
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"What?"
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"And then there's time and a half for overtime."
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"That's natural, you understand?"
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"Two dollar checking charge for coats and hats, all kinds of things."
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"And I'll bring the pretzels, 'cause that's part of it."
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"- Yeah. Okay, bye-bye. - Bye-bye."
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"Right. Yeah."
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"What we gonna do about a chaperone?"
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"Hello, boys."
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"Oh, hello, Mrs. Weefers. Is this your day to clean?"
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"Of course, you remember. Second Tuesday of every month with an R in it."
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"That's right."
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"Of course, I'd been here earlier, only I had to clean up after a cocktail party."
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"Oh, was there a lot to clean up?"
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"Only about half a quart. Dear, you look blue."
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"We need a chaperone."
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"The dance in France is mainly in the stance."
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"Oh, Davy, I don't know how to behave at them fancy parties."
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"I tell you, Peter, give me six months,"
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"and I could pass her off as a duchess at an embassy ball."
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"Uh, how about at the party, tonight?"
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"Well, that'd be a little harder."
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"First thing you do is you put your fingers like that,"
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"and then you stick out your pinky. Innit that nice?"
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"Okay, so now you do it. Oh, yeah, right. Mm-hm. Put your pinky's."
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"Ooh! Look what Peter's doing over there!"
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"Where? What? What? Where? Where? What are you're."
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"That's what I call fruit punch."
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"Now, for diction. The idea is to put as many of these"
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"marbles in your mouth as you can and still be clearly..."
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"What's that?"
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"- ...understood. - Are you getting through to her?"
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"- [mumbles] - Ah, good."
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"Huntington Hartford hates pickled herrings. Now, you try it."
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"Huntington Hartford hates pickled herrings."
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"Most of the guys are here. We're gonna get you in your clothes now. Mrs. Weefers?"
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"Mrs. Weefers! Wake up, come on."
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"Mrs. Weefers? Please! She's stoned."
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"Drunk."
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"What are we going to do about the chaperone? Vandenberg'll be here any minute!"
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"Well, let's get her on the bed or something. That's it, hang her over the edge. Careful."
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"Mrs. Weefers? Mrs. Weefers?"
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"Mrs. Weefers, please, hurry up. Come on!"
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"Uh, the door! Uh, get-answer it. I'll try to revive her."
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"Or something. Miss Weefers?"
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"Oh, hello there, General Vandenberg. It's nice that you"
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"could bring the, uh, ladies by, and we'll take their coats, and you..."
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"Just a moment. These girls aren't staying at this party without a chaperone."
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"Well, you see, um..."
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"Well, actually..."
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"Where is the chaperone?"
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"Um, we, we planned a, uh..."
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"- Who's that? - Micky!"
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"Shh!"
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"Good evening, General Vandenberg. How nice of you to come."
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"Pete, why don't you take the girls and show them where you're going to put the sweaters?"
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"Uh, General Vandenberg, we'd like you to meet our chaperone."
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"This is Mrs... Arcadian."
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"Uh, she's one of the first families of Philadelphia."
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"Oh-ho?"
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"As you go into town, my house is the first house on the right."
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"That's very good."
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"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."
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"As you're leaving town, it's the last house on the left."
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"Ha ha!"
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"Well, I guess you'll have to be going now."
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"Yeah!"
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"What's the hurry? The evening is young."
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"Uh, well, uh, in that case, why don't you two just sit over there in the loveseat?"
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"Oh, good."
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"We'll get you some punch."
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"Uh, just a moment, I'll help the boys pour."
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"You, uh, go over there and wait in the loveseat."
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"Alright."
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"I thought he'd see the chaperone and leave."
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"Eh, so he stays a few minutes; he'll be gone in a minute."
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"A few minutes? Man, he's starting to get serious."
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"Look, Micky, will you calm down?"
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"Calm down? How can I calm down?"
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"He'll be gone any minute. Hey, Micky. You're lovely."
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"Heh heh."
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"Heh heh."
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"You know, I can't help thinking I know you from some place."
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"Have you ever been to Palm Beach?"
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"- Yes! - Is it nice?"
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"Heh heh."
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"Why so glum? This is a party."
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"Look at them. They're all children! I want a real man."
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"Someone who will sweep me off my feet."
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"Ahh!"
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"Ahh!"
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"He gets more girls that way."
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"Well, I'm sure I've seen you somewhere before."
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"Have you ever been to jail?"
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"He's a good sport."
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"Excuse me a minute."
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"Mr. Schneider, do you think that teenagers should neck?"
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"No, I do not."
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"I agree with you, but my husband's getting very impatient."
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"Why don't we all dance? After all, the boys play so poorly."
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"Come on, boys, and play poorly. Be right back."
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"Though you've played at love and lost And sorrow's turned your heart to frost"
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"I will melt your heart again."
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"Remember the feeling as a child"
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"When you woke up and morning smiled"
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"It's time you felt like you did then."
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"There's just no percentage in remembering the past"
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"It's time you learned to live again at last."
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"Come with me, leave yesterday behind"
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"And take a giant step outside your mind."
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"You stare at me in disbelief"
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"You say for you there's no relieve"
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"But I swear I'll prove you wrong."
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"Don't stay in your lonely room"
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