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Clips from Weeds - Where the Sidewalk Ends (S05E05)

"-The cycle of life-- -I need to induce."
Weeds
"What did your doctor say about that?"
Weeds
"I didn't ask him."
Weeds
"I need you to get the baby out of me as soon as possible."
Weeds
"Listen, you're two days away from your due date."
Weeds
"It's best to let your body call the shots."
Weeds
"I can't wait."
Weeds
"Why don't we wait until you're past your due date."
Weeds
"I'll get your chart from the other doctor--"
Weeds
"I can't wait. Not because I'm uncomfortable--"
Weeds
"The father is a drug kingpin slash mayor..."
Weeds
"...slash radical home-birth advocate..."
Weeds
"...who built a delivery room in their guest house."
Weeds
"Spared no expense. He did this for two apparent reasons."
Weeds
"One, to guarantee his first and only son would arrive safely into the world."
Weeds
"Two, to ensure there would be no witnesses..."
Weeds
"...or official records of said event..."
Weeds
"...which could pose a problem if he ever decided to, say..."
Weeds
"...kidnap the baby to Mexico and-or kill its mother the minute she gives birth."
Weeds
"Thank you, Andy, for your discretion."
Weeds
"Don't worry. Doctor-patient confidentiality."
Weeds
"She can't testify, right? You can't--?"
Weeds
"-Is that just lawyers? Shit. -Please."
Weeds
"I need this baby to be born right now. I need witnesses."
Weeds
"I need a U.S. birth certificate."
Weeds
"I need to do this before he realizes that I'm gone."
Weeds
"I need help."
Weeds
"I don't have health insurance..."
Weeds
"...but I can pay cash."
Weeds
"And if all goes well, there's a bonus in it for you."
Weeds
"All right. We need to get you checked in..."
Weeds
"...and get a Pitocin drip going. Unless you want a C-section."
Weeds
"-It's faster, but there's a longer-- -Get it out."
Weeds
"All right. I'll let the hospital know we're on our way."
Weeds
"Wow, she's awesome."
Weeds
"Andy. Please. I beg you."
Weeds
"Just wait until I've given birth."
Weeds
"Damn. Now that's what I'm talking about."
Weeds
"These Comic-Con freaks like to party."
Weeds
"You kind of have to be baked to dress up like Skeletor..."
Weeds
"...and try to snap an upskirt picture of Lucy Lawless."
Weeds
"So where's your partner?"
Weeds
"Who cares? Blitt and I can run this place all by ourselves."
Weeds
"Right, shawarma?"
Weeds
"-Hey buddy. -Look at this place."
Weeds
"Very impressive. Thanks for involving me, dickhead."
Weeds
"Like when I involved you in my election campaign..."
Weeds
"...and you forgot to send my paperwork?"
Weeds
"One. One fuck up."
Weeds
"You're a fucking jinx. Anything you touch turns to shit. Nothing personal."
Weeds
"You're a douche bag. Nothing personal."
Weeds
"There's the man I came to meet."
Weeds
"My client wishes to dissolve the partnership."
Weeds
"We'll be filing articles of dissolution with state and county."
Weeds
"You're advised to give statutory notification to creditors..."
Weeds
"...settle all creditors' claims..."
Weeds
"...and then we can begin the distribution of all business assets."
Weeds
"Okay. I'll take the weed."
Weeds
"Fuck you. This club was my idea and you ruined it."
Weeds
"-You're uptight. -And you're irresponsible."
Weeds
"-You'd really blow it all up? -I don't have a choice."
Weeds
"I can't work with you. This is a professional establishment."
Weeds
"Not some place for you to chase ass and get high."
Weeds
"I can't have you blow this place up."
Weeds
"I love this place too much, man."
Weeds
"But you've gotta make a compromise too."
Weeds
"I get a bowl in the morning to get me through."
Weeds
"For the sake of friendship and success of our business..."
Weeds
"...I'll bang Blitt's cousin."
Weeds
"-Deal. -Deal."
Weeds
"That's what I like to see. Bros before hos."
Weeds
"And weed over greed. Or is it greed over weed?"
Weeds
"Get down! Everybody down!"
Weeds
"Oh, come on, guys. It's just more Comic-Con freaks."
Weeds
"-Don't fucking move. -I'm getting my badge. I'm a cop."
Weeds
"Get the fuck down on the floor now. You too."
Weeds
"All right, all right, I'll play along. Whatever. Okay."
Weeds
"How come he doesn't have to get down on the floor?"
Weeds
"Because I'm Frank Calderon. Internal Affairs."
Weeds
"Officer C.P. Jones, you have the right to remain silent."
Weeds
"-Is this a joke? -No. It's no joke, fat ass. Theft."
Weeds
"Extortion. Falsifying documents. And that's just for openers."
Weeds
"Wow, you really are a cop. Can I still bang your cousin?"
Weeds
"You will never come near a Calderon woman."
Weeds
"Dean Hodes. Attorney at law."
Weeds
"Fucking jinx."
Weeds
"Excuse me. Visiting hours are over."
Weeds
"You have done a very bad and foolish thing coming here."
Weeds
"We must leave right away."
Weeds
"Get dressed."
Weeds
"My God."
Weeds
"You have no idea what you've done."
Weeds
"He has your eyes."
Weeds
"Hi."
Weeds