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Clips from Weeds - Van Nuys (S05E05)

"Lady leaves now. Goes gets a falafel or something."
Weeds
"Well, I don't really have anywhere to go. Sort of between things right now."
Weeds
"Fresh from a spell with some revolutionaries in your country."
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"Rodolfo? You know him? Piercing eyes? Total vagina?"
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"You know, Nancy's tossing me out on my ass."
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"See, and I finally understand what Rodolfo meant..."
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"...when he babbled on about the powerless..."
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"...needing to use their weakness as an advantage."
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"I just wish that I had something that I could use."
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"We were right here."
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"It was so romantic."
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"Here?"
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"Give me your jacket."
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"You were talking about how lame Footloose was..."
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"...and I kept thinking, "When is he gonna jump me?""
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"-I loved Footloose. -That's Judah's gay brother talking."
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"I mean:"
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"Queer bait. All the dancing. Homo city--"
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"Oh, Judah, you're so fucking boss."
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"-Oh, Judah, stick it in me. -Wow, you really just said that."
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"Judah, bork me with your hot tool."
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"Hey, and you said that too."
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"-Is anything wrong? Should I suck you? -Oh, no. No, no, that's--"
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"I mean, that's not-- That's not what we did."
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"Oh, you're right. I was like this."
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"Come on, Judah, make me a woman."
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"Maybe we should save ourselves."
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"-Do you want the money or don't you? -You know what I want."
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"-Judah. -Okay. Copenhagen."
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"-Oh, Judah, yes. -Copenhagen."
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"Copenhagen. Copenhagen."
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"Copenhagen."
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"What do you know? Imagination."
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"-Okay. -Oh, Judah, yes."
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"Oh, God, Copenhagen, Copenhagen."
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"-Oh, Judah, yes. Judah, Judah, Judah. -Copenhagen."
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"Bork me, bork me, bork me."
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"Judah."
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"Copenhagen."
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"Oh, Judah, yes."
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"Hi. Nancy Botwin. I'm Shane's mother."
Weeds
"Could you put down the bat?"
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"Thanks."
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"We brought back your instrument thingy intact..."
Weeds
"...and a replacement animal companion."
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"It's an iguana. They eat greens and fruits."
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"Birds carry germs. It's a major turnoff for the ladies."
Weeds
"I brought back your roller skates, sunglasses."
Weeds
"I'm gonna have to give you an IOU on the video thing. Anyway, Shane?"
Weeds
"I'm sorry I killed your cockatoo."
Weeds
"He was an innocent casualty of youthful vengeance."
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"He taught me a valuable lesson about the destructive power of firearms?"
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"So his death was not in vain."
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"You're getting an F. Now get the fuck out."
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"-Okay, that wasn't necessary. -You killed Seacrest."
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"-And he apologized. -Get the fuck out of my apartment."
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"That was really dumb."
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"-What the fuck--? What are you doing? -Mom?"
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"Stealing from students is a no-no."
Weeds
"It's unseemly, not to mention gross abuse of your position."
Weeds
"-You're never gonna do it again? -I won't. I'm sorry."
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"-Can I kick him? -No, sweetie."
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"By the way, you're grounded. No video games, no tweetering..."
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"...nothing electronic. It's desensitizing."
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"Puts you out of touch with your humanity."
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"You can't afford that."
Weeds
"Remember, fruits and greens. Take care of him."
Weeds
"This could be a whole new start for you."
Weeds
"I'm going into your house to take a bath."
Weeds
"Try it, and the toaster goes in with you."
Weeds
"Do you wanna know what I did tonight?"
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"I watched a dead body get removed from your old Coldspot..."
Weeds
"...and sealed into a barrel of acid."
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"Do you know, those guys were so sweet."
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"They even let me take some choice photos before they left."
Weeds
"Look, it's Nancy's house."
Weeds
"So, yes, I think that I will be taking that bath."
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"And also, I think I'll be living in that garage for as long as I want."
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"Oh, and I'll need some cash to fix the place up."
Weeds
"I hear IKEA's having a tent sale."
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"Selfish, pregnant cunt."
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"Good night."
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"They're dead. They're all dead."
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"Snuffed out."
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"Bunnies."
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"Slugs. Little black fucking slugs."
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"-They're everywhere. -It was an inside job."
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"I put barriers up. They just slipped right through."
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"I got the money."
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"-There's a lot. -What? How?"
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"It doesn't matter. It's just...."
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"I need a shower. I need to be sandblasted."
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"I need a hug. The point is, I have it."
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"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, Andy."
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"It isn't safe here anymore. It's all wrong."
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"-You know Celia's living in the garage? -Yes."
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"We had a nice long conversation about what happens when flesh hits acid."
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"Why is fucking Armageddon always coming down on me?"
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"You do it."
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"You do know that?"
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"You have to know that it's all you."
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"Forget Van Nuys. Keep the baby. It does not matter."
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"-But we leave. -Shane did something--"
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"That's why we have to go. It's not safe here. Even your plants."
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"-But Esteban, I-- -Leave him a note."
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"-A note? -Write him a note, like the olden times."
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"Break his heart in ink. He will understand, if he loves you."
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"-I do have nice handwriting. -And in the morning, we go."
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"I'll throw some Ambien in Ignacio's smoothie..."
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"...and we hit the road as soon as his eyes close. Okay?"
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"-Oh, Andy. -And tomorrow night..."
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"...we're someplace new."
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"It doesn't even have to be Copenhagen. It can be fucking Van Nuys."
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"Wherever. We're a family."
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"And then we're done with all this, and we'll be safe."
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"I know that I'm just, you know...."
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"I'm Andy, but...."
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"We could be more. I would like to try."
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"Okay?"
Weeds
"Okay."
Weeds
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