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Clips from Bust Down - Pitching Tent (S01E01)

"Okay, hey, hey, I'll shut the fuck up,"
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"because love is love."
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"So that means that a 50-year-old man"
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"can "love" a 14-year-old girl, then."
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"[all groaning] - Dude!"
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"- Oh, no, nigga. - Bro, don't do that."
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"- Nigga, you're nasty."
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"- Why is that analogy not as strong?"
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"- Get it together, L. Kelly."
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"- Don't call me L. Kelly!"
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"That's a nasty rumor to spread about me."
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"- Uh-uh, uh-uh, nasty niggas can't come with us."
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"- But I'm not a nasty nigga!"
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"I'm a hero in this story!"
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"- Gonna hit this bar real quick,"
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"you know what I'm saying? - Wait. Stop leaving me."
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"- Come on, let me get you a little straw."
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"- Bro, at the end of the day,"
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"we all fucked up and ended up here."
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"Chris' prized possession is his mall cart jewelry."
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"If someone wants to fuck him, it's a W."
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"What's up, dog? - Hey, what's up?"
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"- Yeah, but first of all, fucked up?"
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"Oh, no. Not me. You sound stupid."
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"I'm gonna be the boss around here someday."
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"- No, you not. - [laughs] The boss?"
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"You haven't even been employee of the month,"
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"and we've been here, like, a million months."
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"You try, and we don't, and we get paid the same."
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"Seems like you fucking up the most."
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"- Since when did professionalism"
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"become a bad thing?"
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"I just haven't spread my wings yet, you know?"
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"- What up, dog? - Yes, you have, my nigga."
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"You just a fucking penguin."
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"- Or an emu. Or an ostrich."
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"I learned today."
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"- You think the world is suddenly"
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"gonna recognize our potential? - What's up, bro?"
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"- We're all gonna end up on the street"
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"listening to Chris smash our sidewalk neighbors,"
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"if we don't learn how to play the game."
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"That's why I listen to Boone Jackson's podcast."
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"- Oh, my God. - Boone Jackson?"
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"- Mm-hmm. - Who's Boone Jackson?"
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"- He's this dude who's like a Tony Robbins"
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"for niggas who put rims on they Altimas."
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"- See, this is the shit Boone warned me about."
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"He told me I gotta reshape my life."
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"Keep you squares out of my circle."
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"- I love Boone. Boy, I went to one seminar."
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"That very next week, I had a Lamborghini."
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"- Because he rented a Lamborghini."
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"- Exactly."
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"Boone says, see something, pay something."
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"I saw a Lamborghini. Paid for it."
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"Had it for one day."
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"Still paying it off, but the one day I had it?"
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"[laughs] Long and fast."
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"- I'm going to see him tomorrow."
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"I watch all his IG Lives and his videos at the Gas Pump."
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"I'm telling you, he pushes you to be a go-getter."
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"I'ma send you a compilation of his best shit."
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"He also does these videos"
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"where he reviews banana puddings."
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"- This is so weird."
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"I've never thought of you as someone that needs"
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"to get life advice from anyone, really."
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"Like, you're a leader. - Mm-hmm."
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"- You're our leader, for sure."
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"You're like the Doritos to our Locos Tacos."
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"- You know, in Spanish,"
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"it's actually the adjective after the noun, so it's--"
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"- Nigga, I know what I ate!"
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"- Whew. - You niggas have fun"
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"staying broke."
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"I'm about to start drinking,"
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"so I can pass out and wake up early."
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"I'm going to learn from the master himself."
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"- Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam. Can I come?"
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"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
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"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
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"Can I come? Can I come?"
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"- Shut up. And fine. - Yeah!"
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"- I didn't really think this was your thing,"
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"'cause you eat candy at 9:00 a.m."
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"If you promise to sit the entire time,"
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"I'll cop you a ticket."
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"- For real? Can I bring my friend?"
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"- You don't have any friends."
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"- Yeah, that's true. That's true."
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"- Chris, why can't you just fuck a receptionist"
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"or a sandwich artist, like a regular nigga?"
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"- Man, you ain't never said nothing about these people"
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"till you found out they make my penis happy."
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"- Hey, stop."
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"- You know, every time they walk up to your car,"
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"you roll up the windows all fast,"
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"lock the doors, play Mariah Carey extra loud."
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"- Well, that's not true."
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"You know I'm a Mariah man. Nick Cannon is a fool."
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"- Every man is a Mariah man, and yes, Nick Cannon's foolish,"
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"but you on your fake woke liberal shit right now,"
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"acting like you know what these women want and need."
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"- They need a place to stay."
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"- Okay. Well, then let 'em stay here."
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"[laughs] Look at your fucking face, man."
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"And you with all this caped crusader hero talk"
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"in my cereal time got me fucked up."
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"Got my fucking marshmallows all soggy."
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"The least you can do is take me down there"
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"and meet my hoes away from home."
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"- Fine. You know what? Fine."
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"I will take you down there,"
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"because I'm not afraid of these people,"
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"and unlike you, I can help them without using my dick."
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"- Hey, hey, hey. Okay."
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"Brother, leave that attitude at the door,"
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"'cause they don't have those."
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"You understand me?"
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