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Clips from That '70s Show (1998) - Mother's Little Helper (S07E07)

"Eric..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I found this in the garage and I want an explanation."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay, when people write stories and glue the pages together, it forms what we call a book,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I don't want "the joy of sex" polluting my house."
That '70s Show (1998)
""The joy of sex." What a load of crap."
That '70s Show (1998)
"That book's for perverts, red."
That '70s Show (1998)
"You should give it to me so I can sell it to fez."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Red, the book is mine."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I put it in the garage so you would find it."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Uh-oh. I'm late for work."
That '70s Show (1998)
"No, no, no, I am serious. It's high time you and i put some zip back in the bedroom."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I got a great idea."
That '70s Show (1998)
"We'll put a tv in the bedroom. There's your zip."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay, I want the full fez treatment--"
That '70s Show (1998)
"a wash, cream rinse and a lot of that wiggly stuff you do with your fingers."
That '70s Show (1998)
"It's magical."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Abracadabra, baby."
That '70s Show (1998)
"So, danielle, what's on your schedule today? I mean, besides looking beautiful."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, looking beautiful is from 10 to 12, then I have a date."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Ooh, hot date alert. Tsss!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"It's not that hot. The guy's kind of a knucklehead."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I mean, he's really cute, but it's like, when I talk, he's not paying attention to me."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I hear this complaint 20 times a day."
That '70s Show (1998)
"You're a treasure. He should worship you like a big stone head."
That '70s Show (1998)
"You're so great. You know, you really get women."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, if you mean "get" as in "understand," then, yes, I get them."
That '70s Show (1998)
"But if you mean "get" as in "get,""
That '70s Show (1998)
"then, no, never."
That '70s Show (1998)
"If I had a woman like you, I would give her anything her heart desired."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Maybe I should blow off my date and go out with a guy like you."
That '70s Show (1998)
"And when I say, "a guy like you," I mean you, specifically."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Wow."
That '70s Show (1998)
"But just to be clear, I still have a tip coming, right?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"steven. Steven, would you please stop doing that? You're gonna get all eric-Y."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Give."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Jackie, boys have to play fight because they secretly want to touch each other."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, you guys wish you could play fight."
That '70s Show (1998)
"But girls can't, 'cause it always turns into a real fight."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Are you seriously telling me that if jackie and i wanted to play fight, we couldn't?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Um, let me listen for the echo of what I just said."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Girls can't play fight. Yep! That's what I think."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I agree. Girls are bitches."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Really?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"- Come on, jackie. Put your dukes up. - Okay."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Watch and learn, boys."
That '70s Show (1998)
"See, it's all fun and games."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Ow, you scratched me!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Get off of me, bigfoot!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Let go of my hair or I'll pound your tiny ass!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"- Spoilsport. - Hey,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"yours is gonna kill mine."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Ladies,that was pathetic."
That '70s Show (1998)
"What? That wasn't even real."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- We're fine. - Yeah."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I don't know what you're talking about. I had fun."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh, you're so immature!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"You guys aren't going to believe this."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Wait."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Were two hot girls just fighting in here?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"No."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Someone is lying."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Anyway,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I was just shampooing this foxy girl danielle, and the next thing I know,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"we're making out in the shampoo closet."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Wait a second, you're trying to tell me that you were shampooing a girl and she got so horny,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"she had to make out with you in the shampoo closet?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"That doesn't sound real, man. That sounds like a mad lib."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, are you sure you weren't just kissing a mop?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"'Cause, man, I've seen you do that."
That '70s Show (1998)
"No, no."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Danielle kept going on and on about this adorable knucklehead she was dating,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"and I just sympathized with her problems."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, that makes sense."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I mean, all a woman really wants is a man who listens."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I listen."
That '70s Show (1998)
"And doesn't pat himself on the back."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I never pat myself on the back."
That '70s Show (1998)
"So, yeah, I got that going for me."
That '70s Show (1998)
"You guys, something happened today that has never happened to me before."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh, you did long division?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"No, I got stood up."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I was supposed to meet this girl danielle after her haircut, and she never showed."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Danielle!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Danielle?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay, wait a second, first a girl fight and now this?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I vote "best day ever.""
That '70s Show (1998)
"Kelso is the adorable knucklehead."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Hey, thanks, fez, but I'm trying to tella story here."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay, so I've been trying to figure out why she didn't show,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"and I've come to the only logical conclusion--"
That '70s Show (1998)
"she's dead."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Kelso, maybe danielle met a guy that she likes better than you."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Don't be crazy, fez. Danielle is dead, and wecan never bring her back."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Kitty, we don't need "the joy of sex.""
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, why not? It's not dirty. This book-- it doesn't even have photographs, just"
That '70s Show (1998)
"sketches."
That '70s Show (1998)
"But they're so detailed. They draw in every single part."
That '70s Show (1998)
"And it's not to scale."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh, here's a fun idea."
That '70s Show (1998)
"okay."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Instead of throwing away our old dish towels, we can use them as blindfolds"
That '70s Show (1998)
"and play a sexy bedroom version of marco polo."
That '70s Show (1998)
"oh, come on. Don't you want to be one of those fun, older couples?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Kitty, I want us to grow old and withdraw into ourselves."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Hey, what's for lunch?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, I was thinking of making something, but that would mean I would have to look at a cookbook,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"and I don't like to learn new things from books."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, so is lunch off or, um..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I mean, what's the lay of the lunch land here?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I don't see why I have to read a book on bodily functions."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I've never read a book on eating, yet I'm extremely well fed."
That '70s Show (1998)
"But I'm not. Could I, like..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"seriously, like a sandwich or..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"well, you know what?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Nobody is eating unless you give this book a try. Until then,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I quit cooking."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Wow, I can't believe I'm asking you this, but"
That '70s Show (1998)
"please have kinky sex with my mother."
That '70s Show (1998)
"No, danielle, I love your outfit. But I just think you can always go tighter."
That '70s Show (1998)
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