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Clips from This Fool - Emotional Timothy (S01E01)

"LUIS: Yeah, she pulls me into this tiny-ass bathroom."
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"She's all, "Climb up on the sink.""
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"I'm like, "It's a dirty-ass sink.""
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"And she says, "You're fuckin' dirty.""
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"So I climb up on that sink, my boy,"
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"you know what I'm sayin'? Then she gets on top of me right away"
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"and starts riding me all crazy, fool."
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"And it was scary 'cause the sink was all small and slippery and old."
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"But I grabbed it like that and she started riding me"
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"and I'm all trying to mack her at the same time, like--"
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"[smooches]"
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"And the sink starts, like, creaking and cracking"
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"so I got scared, homey."
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"But did I tell her to stop?"
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"Hell, no."
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"Look at you. Not even paying attention."
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"You're just swiping your life away, homey."
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"- Hey, dawg, I told you, me and Maggie are done for real this time."
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"I'm trying to put myself out there."
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"You're not the only fool that wants to fuck on a sink."
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"- You don't need the Internet to find a lady. Alright?"
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"The streets are my Internet, homeboy."
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"Check it out."
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"[whistles]"
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"Damn, mija, you Jewish?"
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"Well, shalom to you too."
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"- Hey, fool, I don't think they like that catcalling shit anymore."
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"- You trying to speak for all women?"
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"It's a numbers game, my boy."
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"Calculations. Watch. Check this out, playboy."
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"[whistles] Hey!"
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"Damn."
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"No, we don't know each other, but we're about to."
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"♪"
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"Damn, mija."
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"Eventually they'll bite, homey."
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"But even if they don't, they're still flattered."
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"Hey, what's up, girl? You wanna run away with me and start a new life?"
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"I'm just kidding. I don't wanna leave LA."
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"What are you talkin' about?"
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"Boo, hey, do you drink?"
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"Because after a few, I start looking like Mario Lopez."
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"Hey, this is my son right here."
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"He has that fucked-up disease where he looks all old and shit."
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"Help me raise him."
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"Another trip, homey, you can't just put yourself out there."
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"'Cause they'll break your heart like that."
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"I mean, you know what I mean?"
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"But it'd be cool to find love though."
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"Hey, what's up, girl, you got a library card?"
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"Damn, girl, you got a library card?"
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"Hey, girl, you got a library card?"
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"You can check me out for as long as you want, no late fees, mija."
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"I just got her number. She's right over there."
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"Damn, girl, you're so fine that even if you cheated on me,"
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"I wouldn't be mad."
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"Actually, I'd be heartbroken."
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"That's fucked up. Why would you even do that to me?"
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"Got four numbers, my boy."
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"- That's it?"
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"You bothered like 30 women."
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"- Oh, really? How many numbers did you get?"
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"- I got a date lined up."
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"- Exactly. One date."
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"- You ready to go or what? - No, I haven't even eaten yet."
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"Oh, hey, but you know what?"
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"I forgot to tell you about this one jaina I was dating, right?"
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"She was a bodybuilder, homey."
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"And, uh, she would give me piggyback rides around in her pad"
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"and we both'd be naked."
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"But then I found out she was using steroids..."
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"♪ theme music playing ♪"
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"♪"
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"♪"
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"♪ electronic music playing ♪"
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"- This is all your shit you left at my house."
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"- Wow. Bringing my stuff over. What a drama queen."
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"Did you see this in a movie?"
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"- Can you just take this shit? It's heavy. - Ay, pobrecito."
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"You need me to save you from the big, scary box?"
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"Ew."
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"That's your book, not mine, loser."
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"- Yeah. You should read it, though."
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"- This is all 'cause you want an excuse to see me, huh?"
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"- I'm not staying. I gotta get to work."
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"Damn, Maggie, did you have people over last night?"
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"Why are there so many dishes?"
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"- Don't worry about it. I'll do 'em later."
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"So how broken up are we this time?"
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"- I'm on Tinder."
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"That's how broken up we are."
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"- Oh, shit. Damn."
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"Well, let me see your profile, then. - Nope."
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"- Fine."
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"I don't wanna see it anyways."
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"Just kidding."
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"- Maggie. Stop fuckin' around."
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"- You enjoy the world's cuisine?"
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"- Shut the fuck up. - Who are you, Anthony Bourdain?"
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"- Bitch, I could be. I've eaten "foy gray" before."
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"- Bitch, you don't even know how to pronounce "foy gray.""
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"- Give me that. - Hobbies: hiking?"
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"Since when?"
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"I'm gonna change it to hate-washing your ex's dishes"
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"'cause you secretly can't get enough of her."
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"- Stop fuckin' around and give me back my phone."
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"- [exhales] Fine."
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"Go ahead."
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"Pretend to be someone you're not, faker."
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"Good luck finding anyone to date with that lame-ass profile."
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"- Already got a date lined up."
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"Jealous?"
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"- No. I'm happy for you."
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"Invite me to the wedding."
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"I'll walk you down the aisle and then I'll hook up with her dad."
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"[whispering] I'm gonna be your mommy-in-law."
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"Julio! - Maggie!"
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"MINISTER PAYNE: Readjusting to life outside of prison"
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"can be an alienating experience."
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"In order to move forward, you need to push past the fear."
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