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Clips from Family Guy - Stewie Loves Lois (S05E05)

"Okay, so if we can all be mature... Give me the gum."
Family Guy
"We can all get through this a lot faster."
Family Guy
"I have so much fun when we hang out, Lois,"
Family Guy
"and I love your hair."
Family Guy
"We should make up a name for your hair color."
Family Guy
"We could call it, like, strawberry sunset or ginger maiden,"
Family Guy
"or one of those hair color names that's a random noun, like temptress."
Family Guy
"Oh, at some point, you have to let me braid it!"
Family Guy
"Lois, what are you doing?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What's happening to me?"
Family Guy
"I'm like that Texas woman who gave her son brain damage"
Family Guy
"by holding him underwater."
Family Guy
"I'm just like Barbara Bush!"
Family Guy
"Brian, what kind of a mother has homicidal thoughts"
Family Guy
"about her own baby?"
Family Guy
"I'm a horrible person."
Family Guy
"Lois, you're just exhausted."
Family Guy
"Somehow, you've got to break Stewie of this new overdependence on you."
Family Guy
"Well, it's worth a try."
Family Guy
"Lois, I've got a surprise for you. You and I are going to see Eddie Money!"
Family Guy
"Two tickets, won them on the radio. We're gonna have a ball."
Family Guy
"God, he's like a totally different person. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Sulu."
Family Guy
"Oh, no, I never should have drank those chemicals."
Family Guy
"Hello."
Family Guy
"Peter, congratulations on taking down that monster, Dr. Hartman."
Family Guy
"Yeah, what'd you do with your pain and suffering money?"
Family Guy
"I got collagen."
Family Guy
"Hey, Lois, want to make out?"
Family Guy
"Yeah. What do you think of new sexy-lips Peter?"
Family Guy
"Yeah. This is your life from now on. Enjoy it, lucky wife."
Family Guy
"I tell you, boys, this is a victory not just for my anus, but for anuses..."
Family Guy
"Oh, hang on, I got to go pee."
Family Guy
"That's a lot better. So, anyway, this is a..."
Family Guy
"Oh, I got to take a leak."
Family Guy
"There we go. Oh, pee time."
Family Guy
"Peter, you're urinating unusually frequently."
Family Guy
"Yeah, what gives?"
Family Guy
"If it's gale-force peeing you be doing,"
Family Guy
"it could mean you've got barnacles on your prostate."
Family Guy
"Best have sick bay check below your decks."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute. Are you telling me I need a prostate exam?"
Family Guy
"Aye, and soon, before your rudder jams with flotsam,"
Family Guy
"and you're dropping anchor without an order from the Captain."
Family Guy
"- How're you liking all these nautical puns? - Cute."
Family Guy
"- Not bad. - Somewhat entertaining."
Family Guy
"My God, I'd better see a doctor."
Family Guy
"But no doctor in town will see you after that lawsuit."
Family Guy
"Well, then, I'll just find a doctor out of town."
Family Guy
"Listen, I know I'm not a regular patient,"
Family Guy
"but I think I have some trouble with my prostate."
Family Guy
"So can you help me out, Dr. McCoy?"
Family Guy
"- What, so you can sue me, too? - Oh, come on, it'll only take a sec."
Family Guy
"Forget it. I'm a doctor, not a patsy."
Family Guy
"Hello."
Family Guy
"Lois, what are you doing? I want to sleep in your bed."
Family Guy
"Oh, good night, honey. I love you. This is for your own good."
Family Guy
"Lois, where are you going? Lois? Lois? Lois, answer me!"
Family Guy
"Damn you, I will not be ignored! Get back in here!"
Family Guy
"Get back in here and love me!"
Family Guy
"Lois!"
Family Guy
"Maybe I should go in. He's so upset."
Family Guy
"He's just being melodramatic."
Family Guy
"You've got to ignore it if you really want to help him."
Family Guy
"- Are you flexing? - What, me? No. Why would I be flexing?"
Family Guy
"I mean, I have sort of been hitting the gym,"
Family Guy
"so if you wanted to see how it's going..."
Family Guy
"What am I going to do, Seamus?"
Family Guy
"Dr. Hartman is my only hope, and there's no way he's going to see me."
Family Guy
"Well, you best come up with something, Peter."
Family Guy
"Otherwise, this will happen to your prostate."
Family Guy
"You just carry a picture of a diseased prostate around with you?"
Family Guy
"Never know when it's going to come up in conversation,"
Family Guy
"and then who's the one who's prepared?"
Family Guy
"I've also got a map of Middle-earth,"
Family Guy
"a cat doing a pull-up, and the guys from Primus."
Family Guy
"These poster jokes doing anything for you?"
Family Guy
"- Eh, hit and miss. - We should hang out more."
Family Guy
"I need her love. I need her love, and she's ignoring me."
Family Guy
"Well, let's see her try to ignore this."
Family Guy
"Lois, help!"
Family Guy
"I ate this whole jar of pills that look like candy and now I feel sick."
Family Guy
"- You look like a jackass. - Can't hear you, Brian. I'm dead."
Family Guy
"All right."
Family Guy
"What did you do?"
Family Guy
"Oh, that is so not cool."
Family Guy
"Mommy, I'm dying! I'm dying!"
Family Guy
"I said I'm dying!"
Family Guy
"Hey, I'm dying up here. What is this? A Tommy Lee pool party?"
Family Guy
"Come on, Lois, get with..."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God. Stewie, are you all right? Oh, my sweet baby."
Family Guy
"And to think I ignored your cries for attention."
Family Guy
"I'm so sorry, honey. Never again, Stewie."
Family Guy
"I'm going to give you all the love you could ever want."
Family Guy
"Forget it, you neglectful, swag-bellied measle."
Family Guy
"You had your chance and you blew it. Well, now you're too late."
Family Guy
"I hope they charge you with child abuse for my broken arm."
Family Guy
"I'll testify against you, just like I did against Michael Jackson."
Family Guy
"Stewie, did Mr. Jackson behave inappropriately toward you?"
Family Guy
"Well, yes, but the worst part was he never called back."
Family Guy
"No, but in all seriousness, yeah, he was actually pretty aggressive."
Family Guy
"Package for Dr. Hartman."
Family Guy
"- All right, where's the package? - Here it is."
Family Guy
"So why don't you go ahead and open it up and reach on in there?"
Family Guy
"It's probably cookies or something."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute, there's something strange about this."
Family Guy
"I wasn't expecting any package."
Family Guy
"- Who are you? Griffin! - You got to help me, Dr. Hartman."
Family Guy
"I think there may actually be something wrong with my prostate."
Family Guy
"Well, don't look at me. I lost my license, thanks to you."
Family Guy
"Look, I know what I did was wrong, but you're the only one I can turn to."
Family Guy
"So, I'm asking you,"
Family Guy
"as a man with no more options, will you take a look in my ass?"
Family Guy
"Despite everything that's happened,"
Family Guy
"I suppose I can't ignore my Hippocratic oath."
Family Guy
"All right, drop your pants."
Family Guy
"Oh, well, this is nothing, just a little swelling."
Family Guy
"Probably a minor infection. Looks like there's some blockage."
Family Guy
"- What the devil is that? Hello."
Family Guy
"Dr. Hartman, your license is hereby reinstated."
Family Guy
"Oh, I'm so glad you two worked things out."
Family Guy
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