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Clips from Girls5eva - Leave a Message If You Love Me (S02E02)

"Who's wronged us?"
Girls5eva
"- * Threw us together in a motel room *"
Girls5eva
"* Promised we'd be famous soon *"
Girls5eva
"* Made his money on a basement zoo *"
Girls5eva
"* Saw the Spice Girls, said, "I can pick girls too" *"
Girls5eva
"- Yes! Oh, my God, this is about Larry."
Girls5eva
"Wait, um..."
Girls5eva
"* Cranked our tanning booth to ten *"
Girls5eva
"- * Dyed his arm hairs black and then *"
Girls5eva
"- Raymond, go! Hit the special button!"
Girls5eva
"We're in the pocket!"
Girls5eva
"[both scatting]"
Girls5eva
"* Don't get fat *"
Girls5eva
"- I taped these"
Girls5eva
"to all the other women's bathrooms in the building."
Girls5eva
"A bathroom "Out of Order" sign is as respected in this country"
Girls5eva
"as the flag or James Earl Jones."
Girls5eva
"- Yes, I never question them!"
Girls5eva
"The human bladder is the reason that most stakeouts fall apart,"
Girls5eva
"so this is an ideal situation."
Girls5eva
"- T.K.'s not gonna just take off her mask"
Girls5eva
"because we ask."
Girls5eva
"We have to be delicate and precise."
Girls5eva
"You already had your shot with her."
Girls5eva
"Now, let me take mine."
Girls5eva
"- Okay. By all means."
Girls5eva
"- * Leaving the stage, we hear through a cough *"
Girls5eva
"both: * "Looks like talent took the day off" *"
Girls5eva
"- * Only let us * both: * Eat crab *"
Girls5eva
"- * 'Cause you can't * both: * Get fat *"
Girls5eva
"- * From food that's *"
Girls5eva
"both: * So damn hard * - * To get at *"
Girls5eva
"both: * Sketchy financials *"
Girls5eva
"- * 98% commission *"
Girls5eva
"both: * Our tour was only through countries *"
Girls5eva
"- * With no extradition *"
Girls5eva
"both: * 20 years later, we can still hear him say *"
Girls5eva
"* "You work like dogs, the kind that sleep all day" *"
Girls5eva
"* But now we're at the wheel *"
Girls5eva
"* You can take the bus *"
Girls5eva
"* 'Cause everything we do *"
Girls5eva
"* Belongs to us *"
Girls5eva
"[both squeal]"
Girls5eva
"- Oh, this is cathartic as hell!"
Girls5eva
"[both laugh]"
Girls5eva
"- Wow, y'all. Wow."
Girls5eva
"- Larry? What are you doing here?"
Girls5eva
"- Collab's in Studio Five, and we had some extra Brofu."
Girls5eva
"- Ugh. - So I hope you had some fun,"
Girls5eva
"because that song is never gonna see the light of day."
Girls5eva
"- Why is that? - Because it's theft!"
Girls5eva
"That's my life. My story. Mine to tell."
Girls5eva
"You're a Bad Art Friend."
Girls5eva
"- That's not how Bad Art Friend works, Larry."
Girls5eva
"Girls5eva lived this story."
Girls5eva
"- But you lifted my words verbato."
Girls5eva
""You work like dogs, the kind that sleep all day.""
Girls5eva
"That's mine."
Girls5eva
""Looks like talent took the day off.""
Girls5eva
"Also mine."
Girls5eva
""You're replaceable as baby teeth.""
Girls5eva
"This is plagiarism."
Girls5eva
"You use it, you're buying yourself a lawsuit."
Girls5eva
"You want a lawsuit?"
Girls5eva
"- No, courtroom lighting is really bad."
Girls5eva
"- All right, now, look, I'm a reasonable guy, now."
Girls5eva
"Evolved."
Girls5eva
"I only walk around with medium dick energy."
Girls5eva
"So how about you can put the song on your album"
Girls5eva
"if you throw me a cowriting credit"
Girls5eva
"and you add a thing where you say I'm tall."
Girls5eva
"- No way, Larry! - Ew."
Girls5eva
"- You look good. Manuka?"
Girls5eva
"- [sighs]"
Girls5eva
"[tense quirky music]"
Girls5eva
"[faucet running]"
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"- Oh, my God. T.K., right?"
Girls5eva
"Ugh, I'm so glad you're here."
Girls5eva
"- Do we know each other? - Wickie. Roy."
Girls5eva
"Recording artist."
Girls5eva
"Look, I just found out"
Girls5eva
"my stalker is hanging around the building."
Girls5eva
"You get it. I need to slip out undetected."
Girls5eva
"Otherwise, he'll try to take some of my eyelashes."
Girls5eva
"Could I borrow your suit?"
Girls5eva
"- I'm sorry, love, I can't."
Girls5eva
"I can lend you a bodyguard to get out, though."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, no. It's okay."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, no, I just saw on Toilet TV"
Girls5eva
"that the Hockley 459 beekeeper headdress"
Girls5eva
"and accompanying veil have been recalled for suffocation risk!"
Girls5eva
"Anyone wearing one should take it off now."
Girls5eva
"- I'm going to find a different bathroom."
Girls5eva
"- It's not Ashley. The smells are all wrong."
Girls5eva
"Stand down. - I gotta know!"
Girls5eva
"- Gloria! - Hey!"
Girls5eva
"[both grunting]"
Girls5eva
"[high-pitched] Ow!"
Girls5eva
"My mystique!"
Girls5eva
"- Gloria, rude!"
Girls5eva
"- You're not her? - I'm not who?"
Girls5eva
"Ow! That hurt!"
Girls5eva
"- How could you not be our friend Ashley?"
Girls5eva
"- Ugh, I am so sick of being a Rorschach blot"
Girls5eva
"for other people's crap."
Girls5eva
"Everyone thinks I'm JFK Jr."
Girls5eva
"or their high school girlfriend"
Girls5eva
"or Carole Baskin's dead husband."
Girls5eva
"I'm just Beth."
Girls5eva
"My dad's a DJ, and we agreed I needed a thing!"
Girls5eva
"- Oh, my God, did I call it."
Girls5eva
"- Whoever you thought I was, they are gone."
Girls5eva
"So just deal with your crap and leave me out of it!"
Girls5eva
"[in deep voice] Goodbye, bitches."
Girls5eva
"[voice rises] Tell no one what you saw here."
Girls5eva
"Dang it! You ruined my mystique."
Girls5eva
"I'm supposed to walk a tiger in Machine Gun Kelly's wedding,"
Girls5eva
"and now I'm all scared!"
Girls5eva
"[quirky music]"
Girls5eva
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