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Clips from The Goldbergs - Snow Day (S04E04)

"with my ski gogs on. (CLICKS TONGUE)"
The Goldbergs
"Oh, my God. I don't... (GAGS) Even know how to respond to that."
The Goldbergs
"I know! It's gonna be great!"
The Goldbergs
"Just like when we carpool to school together"
The Goldbergs
"so we can have a little gossip time."
The Goldbergs
"(GAGS) I just can't..."
The Goldbergs
"And I'm gonna take you to my Friday-night scrapbooking club"
The Goldbergs
"so you can see how your real hero cuts loose."
The Goldbergs
"(GAGS)"
The Goldbergs
"Decoupage."
The Goldbergs
"So, let me get this straight."
The Goldbergs
"You being my hero basically undoes everything good in my life?"
The Goldbergs
"We're gonna be slope sisters. I got to go bedazzle my ski boots."
The Goldbergs
"Ugh!"
The Goldbergs
"Thinking you should have picked a different hero?"
The Goldbergs
"One who's literally put his head in a lion's mouth?"
The Goldbergs
"Wait a minute. You're right."
The Goldbergs
"I chose to write about Mom,"
The Goldbergs
"so I can just write about someone else."
The Goldbergs
"Now we're talking."
The Goldbergs
"I'll write about myself, how I survived my crazy "smother""
The Goldbergs
"and became my own hero!"
The Goldbergs
"At this point, very little surprises me."
The Goldbergs
"Thank you, Pops! You are my hero!"
The Goldbergs
"I mean, for giving me the idea to write about myself."
The Goldbergs
"You bet."
The Goldbergs
"(CHUCKLING) Oh, man! That was awesome!"
The Goldbergs
"I know you don't have your license, but it's your turn to drive."
The Goldbergs
"Adam?"
The Goldbergs
"Huh."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: Turns out we would need our dad... Just way sooner than expected."
The Goldbergs
"Fancy meeting you here."
The Goldbergs
"Good to see you're keeping warm on this wintry day, Father."
The Goldbergs
"Bup-bup. Not the dad."
The Goldbergs
"(LAUGHS) Hilarious as always."
The Goldbergs
"Speaking of funny stuff,"
The Goldbergs
"do you recall when you told me there would be a time"
The Goldbergs
"I'd come to you in desperate need?"
The Goldbergs
"Well, that moment is now upon us."
The Goldbergs
"Are you kidding? It's been, what, 20 minutes?"
The Goldbergs
"Time sure does fly, doesn't it?"
The Goldbergs
"Well, whatever you did, it's on you."
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, you're teaching me a lesson about respect."
The Goldbergs
"Noble goal."
The Goldbergs
"In return, I'd like to teach you"
The Goldbergs
"the highs and lows of car tobogganing,"
The Goldbergs
"the recreational pastime that's sweeping the nation."
The Goldbergs
"What did you do?"
The Goldbergs
"I lost Adam."
The Goldbergs
"Get my pants."
The Goldbergs
"There's my little typer monkey. What you click-clacking about?"
The Goldbergs
"Got more to write about your hero mama?"
The Goldbergs
"Oh, just making a few tiny tweaks to my college essay."
The Goldbergs
"Tweaks?"
The Goldbergs
"Can't believe it gets much better than that."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, it's better."
The Goldbergs
"My first tweak was when I, like,"
The Goldbergs
"threw the whole thing out and started over."
The Goldbergs
"- What's that, now? - Yeah, my new essay"
The Goldbergs
"is about my inner hero,"
The Goldbergs
"and how I overcame the greatest obstacle of all."
The Goldbergs
"Me?"
The Goldbergs
"- It says I'm the obstacle? - Yep."
The Goldbergs
"- (GASPS) And ruiner of dreams? - For sure."
The Goldbergs
"- Strangler of hope? - Yep."
The Goldbergs
"A vampire draining your human sprite?"
The Goldbergs
"Oopsie, that is supposed to say "spirit.""
The Goldbergs
"Good eye."
The Goldbergs
"Oh. This is about me going on the ski trip."
The Goldbergs
"Okay, how's about I just sit it out? Just... Please, don't send this in."
The Goldbergs
"And print."
The Goldbergs
"- (PRINTER CLICKING) - Please, stop that horrible printing sound!"
The Goldbergs
"I wish I could,"
The Goldbergs
"but I pressed the button, and it can't be stopped."
The Goldbergs
"It can if I drown it out."
The Goldbergs
"The blending stops when the printing stops."
The Goldbergs
"You can blend all you want, lady, but I'ma print all day long."
The Goldbergs
"Beverly, Adam is lost in the snow! It's an emergency!"
The Goldbergs
"I can't hear you. I'm proving a point."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: My sister had finally finished her new college essay"
The Goldbergs
"about heroically triumphing over her "smother,""
The Goldbergs
"but my mom had one last trick up her snowsuit."
The Goldbergs
"- Where are you going? - Out."
The Goldbergs
"Where? All of Philly's shut down."
The Goldbergs
"I'm gonna snowshoe over to the Dress Barn"
The Goldbergs
"and see about their annual blizzard sale."
The Goldbergs
""Blizzard sale"? That's not a thing."
The Goldbergs
"Eat my dust, sucka."
The Goldbergs
"Penn State's gonna know I'm your hero."
The Goldbergs
"Wait! Get back here!"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: But their race to the mailbox didn't go as planned"
The Goldbergs
"because we forgot to shovel the driveway."
The Goldbergs
"No! Do not take that to the mailbox. Don't you dare!"
The Goldbergs
"It's too late. You'll never catch me!"
The Goldbergs
"Get back here!"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: And so began the slowest high-speed chase"
The Goldbergs
"in Goldberg history."
The Goldbergs
"I wrote a better, more hurtful one."
The Goldbergs
"Those stupid sons of bitches at Penn State will never read it."
The Goldbergs
"Not if I beat you to the mailbox, old lady."
The Goldbergs
"Ha! I'm pulling ahead!"
The Goldbergs
"No, never!"
The Goldbergs
"- Oh! Oh! - Aah!"
The Goldbergs
"(BOTH GRUNTING)"
The Goldbergs
"You are not my hero!"
The Goldbergs
"No! Erica, that's all I had left, and you ruined it."
The Goldbergs
"Mom, it's just a stupid college essay."
The Goldbergs
"Why make this the biggest deal in the world?"
The Goldbergs
"That essay was the only proof I had that you still want me as your mom."
The Goldbergs
"Come on. That's not true."
The Goldbergs
"Every day, you roll your eyes at me, and you tell me I ruin your life."
The Goldbergs
"And I know you're a teenager, and that's how it goes,"
The Goldbergs
"but it hurts."
The Goldbergs
"And then I read this essay."
The Goldbergs
"And it was just nice to be reminded"
The Goldbergs
"that you still think nice things about me sometimes."
The Goldbergs
"Look, even though you have real impulse-control problems,"
The Goldbergs
"and you threw me down on a sheet of ice,"
The Goldbergs
"you shouldn't need some essay to know that you really are my hero."
The Goldbergs
"- What was that? - You're my stupid hero, okay?"
The Goldbergs
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