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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Sweet Taste of Liberty (S01E01)

"on a very important international business trip."
How I Met Your Mother
"I demand you release us immediately."
How I Met Your Mother
"You demand? No, no, no, no, he does not demand."
How I Met Your Mother
"We have no demands."
How I Met Your Mother
"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to remain calm."
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"Okay, I'm calm. I'm totally calm."
How I Met Your Mother
"We've got footage of you placing two bags on JFK carousel three,"
How I Met Your Mother
"and abandoning them to purchase a last-minute flight with cash."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Those bags were your responsibility. - They were your bags."
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"Sir, please."
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"We're assessing the bag situation."
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"Look. This is all just... It's a misunderstanding."
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"Please."
How I Met Your Mother
"We are international businessmen."
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"My colleague accidentally left the bags there."
How I Met Your Mother
"Now, please let us go before we miss our international business meeting."
How I Met Your Mother
"Can't remember the last time I saw an international businessman"
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"with an untucked shirt."
How I Met Your Mother
"In addition, we received this footage, taken over the last few months."
How I Met Your Mother
"Believe it or not, that duffle bag thing worked."
How I Met Your Mother
"The truth is, my friend, he does this thing"
How I Met Your Mother
"where he goes to airports with fake luggage to pick up girls."
How I Met Your Mother
"And we followed some here to Philadelphia."
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"That's it. That's all this is."
How I Met Your Mother
"Nobody's that lame."
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"Yes, he's that lame. Tell him you're that lame."
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"- We are international businessmen... - Oh, come on!"
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"Sir! Lower your voice or I will restrain you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Dude, seriously, relax."
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"- We at least get to call our lawyer. - Exactly."
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"We have a lawyer?"
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"Listen to me. You're both American citizens."
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"Don't let them pull any Patriot-Act voodoo. You both retain the right"
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"to refuse to answer any questions without an attorney present."
How I Met Your Mother
"So don't say anything until I get there, all right?"
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"Okay, goodbye."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, it's ridiculous in here. Why don't we go somewhere else?"
How I Met Your Mother
"No. This place is great."
How I Met Your Mother
"- What are you doing? - What?"
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"With your lips and everything?"
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"My lips are always like this."
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"You had to play the race card."
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"Relax, Ted, we didn't do anything wrong."
How I Met Your Mother
"And, BTW, we'd be out of here by now if you'd have tucked in your shirt."
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"Go ahead, JFK. What is the baggage status?"
How I Met Your Mother
"They're clean. It's just a whole bunch of condoms."
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"And a PowerBar."
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"You're free to go."
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"Don't come to Philly,"
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"- Man, I'm almost halfway there. - Yeah, we just got released"
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"and we're heading back on the next flight."
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"Meet us at MacLaren's. Maybe we can still make last call."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Can't we just... - No, we can't "just," we're going home."
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"- We're going to Sascha's. - Who the hell is Sascha?"
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"Sascha."
How I Met Your Mother
"She's having friends over for drinks at her house."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's gonna be legend... Wait for it,"
How I Met Your Mother
"and I hope you're not lactose intolerant,"
How I Met Your Mother
"'cause the second half of that word is "dairy.""
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"- No! - Legendary!"
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"- Legendary? That sounds awesome! - No, Marshall, we're going back."
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"Fine."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hold on, I have another call."
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"- Hello? - Marshall, we're going to Sascha's."
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"No, we're not."
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"Ted, Ted, Ted. Right here. Yes, we are."
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"Sorry, buddy. Two against one."
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"- Look, a booth opened up. - Really?"
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"Yeah, I thought we could finally go talk and you're not listening to me,"
How I Met Your Mother
"- so I'm gonna walk away. - Yeah, yeah, booth."
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"- Hey. - Hey."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm engaged. You know, I'm sorry. I took my ring off."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's very, very sweet of you to come over and talk to me, but I just..."
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"Yeah, I'm gay."
How I Met Your Mother
"I just came over to let you know that you sat on a grape."
How I Met Your Mother
"Damn it!"
How I Met Your Mother
"So, Barney and I hit the town,"
How I Met Your Mother
"Philadelphia, PA,"
How I Met Your Mother
"Our first and only stop, Sascha's party,"
How I Met Your Mother
"So, you're Sascha's friends, huh?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You know it."
How I Met Your Mother
"You guys, keep the volume down. You're gonna wake my grandpa."
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"Who wants hard lemonade?"
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"Philly!"
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"Philly."
How I Met Your Mother
"Back at the bar, girls'night out wasn't going as Robin had hoped,"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Lily's phone. - Robin? Where's Lily?"
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"- She's... - Is she talking to some hot guy?"
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"You can tell me. It's totally cool. It was my idea."
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"Hell, I told her she could take the ring off."
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"Really? Well, I thought it was kind of weird, but if you're cool with it..."
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"Yeah, it's off, and she's talking to some guy."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Do you want me to go over and... - No! Don't interrupt. It's awesome."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, the ring's really off, huh?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Awesome."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, just tell her I called"
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"and tell her that she's awesome."
How I Met Your Mother
"Did you hear that, Ted? Dana works security at the Liberty Bell."
How I Met Your Mother
"I do okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wow, it must be really well cordoned-off over there."
How I Met Your Mother
"Do you ever go behind the rope and touch it?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Only all the time."
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"You ever, like, stick your head inside it?"
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"Yeah."
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"- Do you ever lick it? - Nope."
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"I have never licked it."
How I Met Your Mother
"I bet nobody in history has ever licked the Liberty Bell."
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"If someone were to pull that off,"
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"I dare say it would be... What's the word?"
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"- Well, this is my stop. - Ted, legendary."
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"Barney, I'm going to the airport. Sascha, thank you."
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"And tell your grandpa I'm sorry I walked in on him in the bathroom."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'll get some club soda for that stain."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily, I thought tonight was about us hanging out?"
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"What are you doing?"
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"Just fending off the advances of that totally hot guy."
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"- Dude, I think that guy is gay. - I know that guy is gay."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's just... Marshall and I have been together for nine years."
How I Met Your Mother
"I haven't been single since high school."
How I Met Your Mother