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Clips from Arrested Development - Public Relations (S01E01)

"You did say single, correct? I thought l..."
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"I didn't quite hear that. The reception is bad."
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"But as the Talmud tells us..."
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"...to the jackal as to an oxen."
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"Did it get a laugh?"
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"Sorry. I'm still on the whole Michael being likable thing."
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"You know that he's only had sex with, like, four women, right?"
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"Let's focus on your likability."
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"You're going to start doing some charity work with your magic."
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"Actually, I'm kind of the charitable one of the family."
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"- I think it's best if you got a job. - Oh, come on!"
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"I'm a parent. I care about my daughter every bit as much as Michael cares about his son."
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"What grade am I in?"
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"- What kind of job? - Something where you'll be seen."
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"I represent Cloudmir Vodka..."
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"and they want someone to promote it by ordering it at a hot bar."
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"- A place like Rud. - Okay. I'll do it."
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"And, Tobias, you're a medical doctor..."
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"and you're living an absurd fantasy as an actor."
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"- It's time to get real. - Wow."
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"It's tough talk, but I like it."
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"You're saying land a major film."
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"I'm saying get your medical license back."
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"I've set up a hearing for tomorrow in Boston."
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"- Michael has generously donated $1,100 for your trip. - I'm sorry."
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"I truly believe that the universe wants me to be an actor and not a doctor."
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"- I'm just waiting for a sign. - Here's your cash."
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"- Universal Shuttle picks you up at 8:00. - Any sign, really."
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"Sorry. Some of my students are arguing the significance..."
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"of the shank bone on the seder plate."
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"But that... Not... not wag our genitals at one another to make a point."
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"- Thought provoking. - And, Lucille, people think you're cold."
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"Hanukkah can be spelled so many ways. Oh, God!"
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"- Buster. - Right here. Ready to go."
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"At your service. Get me out there."
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"I want you to stay in."
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"People find you odd and alienating."
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"You make them uneasy. Stay out of the spotlight."
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"I shall be neither seen nor heard. Watch me."
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"You can always tell a Milford man."
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"Each with their new charge..."
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"the Bluths set about redefining their image."
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"Tobias was off to Los Angeles International Airport..."
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"determined to return to his family with a career."
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"Well, this is great."
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"Why would anybody take a limo?"
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"What is this, like, $12?"
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"Why would anybody pay more than $12 to go to the airport?"
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"Next stop, LAX."
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"Come on! We're stopping again? How many more stops are we gonna make?"
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"Honestly, I haven't even seen this part of Los Ang... Is that snow?"
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"Really, now. This is ridiculous."
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"I paid 12 American... Oh, my God."
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"You are Carl Weathers, the actor."
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"I went to San Francisco to attend your stage fighting workshop."
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"- But you never showed up. - I got bumped from that flight."
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"Hell, they'll give you $300 if you get bumped."
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"It's this crazy loophole in the system that the wrong guy discovered."
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"Guess where I won't be going."
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"Yeah. So..."
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"I am an actor too."
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"- Oh. Good. - Well, I want to be."
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"Without the proper training, I'm afraid I'm doomed to be a doctor."
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"Well, hell, I can train you."
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"Oh, well, I'm afraid all I have is $1,100..."
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"and that's for this plane ticket, so..."
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"Check this out. $1,100 is exactly what I charge for acting classes."
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"- No, it isn't! - Yeah."
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"What are the chance..."
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"Universe, you've done it again."
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"Meanwhile, Gob was beginning his charity work at a local nursing home."
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"I'm gonna need a volunteer for my next illusion, the Aztec Tomb!"
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"- A tomb? - Or box. Box is... fine."
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"Oh, yes! Well, excellent. Let's get you in the box."
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"There's a panel."
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"just flip it around, curl up behind it, don't make any noise."
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"Ancient lore has it the Aztec gods put a curse on any man who dare..."
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"- What? - He's gone."
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"Buster was also doing his share for the family."
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"And Michael, atJessie's insistence, was out on the town."
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"I haven't been out to dinner in so long, I feel a little guilty."
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"You have nothing to be guilty about."
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"You're the only one in your family who's ever been responsible."
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"Well, I'm certainly the only one that's ever held a real job."
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"Oh, really, Michael? Watch this."
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"Wow! This Cloudmir's making me think fuzzy."
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"I have almost no judgment at all."
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"- Two more Cloudmirs, please. - Only one with a real job."
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"jessie, you've really been doing a great job with my family."
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"- Oh, good. Get one of Michael and me on a date. - Sure."
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"- Thank you. - You're welcome."
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"A date? This is a date now? I thought this was just business."
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"Can't it be a little bit of both?"
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"How will I know which part of it is business?"
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"Uh-oh."
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"Can't wait to see which part of it is a date."
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"Show me business again."
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"What you doing?"
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"just trying to get the TVworking."
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"Oh, yeah, I tried that earlier. I think it's still hooked up to the prison."
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"So when those guys kept saying, Hey, you, boy, that was me?"
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"- I was the boy? - Sounds like it."
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"Have you told your dad you don't want to go to that school?"
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"I'm thinking of just going. I mean, the graduates go on to do great things."
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"I suppose, but that means we won't be going to the same high school."
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"Man, it just keeps getting worse."
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"- But he's my Dad. I don't want to disappoint him. - Man."
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"You and I are so different. It's like we're not even related."
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"That'd be amazing."
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"Oh, my God."
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"- Hey, buddy. - Hey, Dad."
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"I'm sorry that I'm so late, but I was with Jessie."
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"This girl's making some serious progress in getting you into that school."
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"She just booked Gob a gig at Earl Milford's nursing home."
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"- You're gonna be a shoo-in. - Oh."
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"She's kinda something, isn't she?"
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"Yeah, I guess."
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"I mean, you know, hey, she is no replacement for your mom."
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"- Oh, no. No way. - Not at all."
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"- She's just working for us. You're not dating her. - No, I am not dating her."
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