Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Farzar - Flammily Reunion (S01E01)

"Every time you wash your hands, you're killing billions of inferior organisms."
Farzar
"I'm doing the exact same thing. Three meals a day."
Farzar
"Mm. These are good points."
Farzar
"Blarpon 13! This planet will be perfect for dinner."
Farzar
"Would you be a dear and go glaze the innocent people"
Farzar
"in teriyaki for me? Thanks."
Farzar
"[voice in Barry's head] Now Barry had gotten himself into quite a pickle."
Farzar
"Was he going to listen to his girlfriend or his conscience?"
Farzar
"Seems like the easiest thing to do would be to tongue-fuck a shotgun."
Farzar
"Damn it. He's back."
Farzar
"I need to talk to Val."
Farzar
"She's not here right now."
Farzar
"And even if she was, she wouldn't want to talk to you."
Farzar
"What kind of sex addict perv are you?"
Farzar
"[chuckles] Is it 9:00 yet?"
Farzar
"Almost!"
Farzar
"Well if Val were here, I'd tell her I did not cheat on her."
Farzar
"My family is trying to force me to impregnate my cousins."
Farzar
"Whoo!"
Farzar
"Unfortunately,"
Farzar
"I don't think my cousins will ever stop until they get what they want from me,"
Farzar
"but I don't want to cheat on Val,"
Farzar
"which is why I spent the last 20 minutes making this."
Farzar
"-What's that? -A gallon jug full of my jizz."
Farzar
"Whoo!"
Farzar
"Okay, you mind putting a lid on that?"
Farzar
"I'm going to give this to my cousins so they'll stop trying to bang me."
Farzar
"It was the most painful 20 minutes of my life,"
Farzar
"but I made this gallon of gunk because I love Val."
Farzar
"Good God. That has to be the--"
Farzar
"Sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."
Farzar
"Oh my God, have you been here the whole time?"
Farzar
"Fichael, I'm ready. To do it."
Farzar
"Now? I'm kind of raw down there. Plus the room is kind of full."
Farzar
"This, right here, this is our moment."
Farzar
"[moaning]"
Farzar
"-Ow. -[alarm buzzes]"
Farzar
"Oh my God, Fichael, it's after nine o'clock!"
Farzar
"You are cheating on me with my sister!"
Farzar
"-[all gasp] -You disgust me."
Farzar
"Where's your conscience?"
Farzar
"Uh…"
Farzar
"Whoo!"
Farzar
"I'm sorry it came to this, dear."
Farzar
"I told you your family wouldn't fucking like me."
Farzar
"Welcome to the execution ball."
Farzar
"Puppeteer!"
Farzar
"Didn't you forget something?"
Farzar
"Silly me."
Farzar
"It is tradition that we have ceremonial sustenance before any execution."
Farzar
"Hoist her up!"
Farzar
"[squeals]"
Farzar
"What happened to Hammy?"
Farzar
"Nobody fucks with my family!"
Farzar
"[laughing]"
Farzar
"Oh, fuck."
Farzar
"Ah!"
Farzar
"I will use your bones as dinner utensils"
Farzar
"and your skin as rugs in my parlor."
Farzar
"Holy shit, woman."
Farzar
"That was the most fucked-up, ruthless thing I have ever seen,"
Farzar
"and I have never been more attracted to you."
Farzar
"I am about to show you a night of passion you won't believe."
Farzar
"Puppeteer!"
Farzar
"[Fammy moaning]"
Farzar
"Yes! Oh, yes in there! In there! In there!"
Farzar
"Puppeteer, let's wrap this up."
Farzar
"[puppeteer] Bee-oop."
Farzar
"Splat."
Farzar
"Kiki, I've got some bad news about Harold."
Farzar
"It turns out your friends were right all along."
Farzar
"He is a bad guy."
Farzar
"Why'd you put Harold's head on both our bodies?"
Farzar
"You told me to, and said it would be hilarious."
Farzar
"Don't listen to me when I'm drunk."
Farzar
"Oh my God, Harold has a twin brother that he's sleeping with."
Farzar
"It's over!"
Farzar
"[sobs]"
Farzar
"Boy, she really is dumb."
Farzar
"Great job, Bazarack. We'll transfer the domain over to you now."
Farzar
"[sobbing]"
Farzar
"I can't do this."
Farzar
"Kiki, I won't ruin your life for a web address."
Farzar
"I faked the video."
Farzar
"I tried to get Harold to betray you, but he wouldn't."
Farzar
"He is a great guy and you should marry him."
Farzar
"I now pronounce you man and wife."
Farzar
"Oh, we're sorry for not trusting Harold. We were just afraid that you'd get hurt."
Farzar
"But if Bazarack is vouching for Harold, he's obviously a great guy."
Farzar
"Oh, come here, you!"
Farzar
"[grunts]"
Farzar
"Girls, I gotta go."
Farzar
"But I'm glad some stories do have happy endings."
Farzar
"Oops. Forgot my keys."
Farzar
"Ah!"
Farzar
"Harold! What the hell did you do, you fucking psycho? You killed 'em!"
Farzar
"Oh, yeah, I'm a serial killer."
Farzar
"[woman] What the hell?"
Farzar
"Yeah, like I give a damn, I'll be in my room."
Farzar
"Wow, Edith said you were bad news. I guess she was right."
Farzar
"But now I think about it, this actually solves the whole website problem for me."
Farzar
"Everyone, meet my new minion,"
Farzar
"Harold!"
Farzar
"Master, are you sure--"
Farzar
"Just hide the knives. It'll be fine."
Farzar
"Hi, everyone. I'm Harold."
Farzar
"[Pee-Wee Herman] He said the name of the day! Ah!"
Farzar
"Am I fucking invisible?!"
Farzar
"So you're a planet of adorable cancer survivors in wheelchairs."
Farzar
"We're also orphans."
Farzar
"And we have so much to live for."
Farzar
"I'm sorry, kid. I can't raw dog another husband."
Farzar
"Just, yes, lift up the arm."
Farzar
"Hey, lover, how did it go with the mankind marinade?"
Farzar
"Look, the planet is full of a lot of really nice children. I--"
Farzar
"Aw, kids are so sweet."
Farzar
"And tender. I'm feeling like having star-becue."
Farzar
"[children screaming]"
Farzar
"Barry, what are you doing?"
Farzar
"I love you, but I can't let you do this."
Farzar
Show more clips