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Clips from Scrubs - Our Mysteries (S09E09)

"(THEME SONG PLAYING)"
Scrubs
""If you only take one class this year, make it Dr. D's."
Scrubs
""It's the nonstop thrill-ride of the quarter.""
Scrubs
"You know, Perry, you might want to watch a video called Boundaries,"
Scrubs
"especially the section on roughhousing."
Scrubs
"Suck it up, Mary Lou."
Scrubs
"Wow. Wrong. Really wrong. And what is this?"
Scrubs
"- What is what? - "Needy," "Desperate,""
Scrubs
""Light on medical knowledge, heavy on Broadway trivia.""
Scrubs
"and I just want people to like me. I'm a fool."
Scrubs
"CO X: I know. It's beautiful."
Scrubs
"God, I wish these things weren't anonymous."
Scrubs
"I'd like to take this student out and buy him a steak."
Scrubs
"He nailed it. All the best."
Scrubs
"- Turk, am I needy? - No."
Scrubs
"Tell me a hundred times."
Scrubs
"Thanks for letting me practice on you, Dr. D."
Scrubs
"I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this procedure."
Scrubs
"How could anybody hate me? I'm literally bleeding for you guys."
Scrubs
"(YELLS) That's a muscle. Aim for the blue lines."
Scrubs
"Sorry. I don't know why I can't get this."
Scrubs
"I used to have a problem with the same thing,"
Scrubs
"but then I realized you just gotta pretend the needle's your friend."
Scrubs
"Be careful, though. I told that to a med student once"
Scrubs
"But just pretend the needle's your buddy"
Scrubs
"and you two are doing something you love to do."
Scrubs
"Like roller skating?"
Scrubs
"I would have said ice dancing, but to each their own."
Scrubs
"LUCY: Here goes nothing."
Scrubs
"I did it!"
Scrubs
"Dr. D, thanks for always helping me through the tough stuff."
Scrubs
"It's okay. Maybe you should practice on,"
Scrubs
"like, a student partner or something. Preferably someone who can't feel pain."
Scrubs
"(EX CLAIMS) Like the Incredible Hulk."
Scrubs
"The Hulk can feel pain, Turk. Also, lasers hurt him."
Scrubs
"TURK: Hmm."
Scrubs
"Dude, I hope you paged me 'cause you came to your senses"
Scrubs
"and realized that we need to do one last eagle."
Scrubs
"- Eagles are played out, Turk. - How dare you?"
Scrubs
"You and I are gonna find the kid that torched me."
Scrubs
"You said you wanted to do something this last week. This is gonna be fun."
Scrubs
"J. D: We'll be like the interracial Hardy Boys."
Scrubs
"Look. A clue! A piece of Old Man Peterson's overalls."
Scrubs
"That means he's the Phantom of CAT Scan Island."
Scrubs
"Dad's gonna be so proud of us, black adopted brother."
Scrubs
"All right, I'm in, but you're buying me a magnifying glass."
Scrubs
"- I got you a present. - What is it?"
Scrubs
"I don't know. It came out of the guy in Room 12."
Scrubs
"That's sweet. Oh. Still warm."
Scrubs
"(DENISE CHUCKLES)"
Scrubs
"Sunny is a wicker basket of adorable kittens"
Scrubs
"sliding down a shimmering rainbow. Head for the hills."
Scrubs
"Hi, guys!"
Scrubs
"It's too late. If she talks to me, shoot me."
Scrubs
"(EX CLAIMS) Denise, is this Drew? You said he was handsome, but wow!"
Scrubs
"What's happening?"
Scrubs
"I can't believe Denise found that special someone."
Scrubs
"When I first met her, I thought, "This woman is probably going to die alone,""
Scrubs
"but here she is, and here you are, and here I am asking you guys"
Scrubs
"if you'd like to go on a double date with me and Keyshawn."
Scrubs
"- I guess. - Yes!"
Scrubs
"- We're not doing that. - Of course not."
Scrubs
"I was gonna say yes, then call her at the last minute,"
Scrubs
"tell her I'm sick, then change my cell phone number."
Scrubs
"Cole, will you please be my blood buddy for Dr. Cox's exam?"
Scrubs
"Mmm. Sorry, baby. No can do. Doc says I got tiny baby veins."
Scrubs
"Besides, I've seen you take blood before, and you suck at it."
Scrubs
"He's dealt with worse. He came to this country on a boat made of tires."
Scrubs
"(SIGHS) Okay, I guess I am gonna have to break out the big guns."
Scrubs
"No blood, no sex."
Scrubs
"J. D: Turk and I were hard at work,"
Scrubs
"trying to solve The Mystery of the Feelings Hurter."
Scrubs
"Now, do you see how the "R's" in this evaluation form"
Scrubs
"- Dude, I totally see it. - Hello, Barry Friedman."
Scrubs
"Hacking into the med school files right now."
Scrubs
"- You can hack? - No, I have a password."
Scrubs
"It just sounded cooler. We're in."
Scrubs
"Tell me a story, Turk."
Scrubs
"Barry Friedman. Lives in the east dorms."
Scrubs
"Okay. Buckle up, Bar. We're coming for you."
Scrubs
"Which way is east?"
Scrubs
"- Hey! So, what's the plan for tonight? - Drew doesn't want to go."
Scrubs
"- Bummer. Rain check? - Yeah, definitely."
Scrubs
"- Yes! Look forward to it. - No. Not happening."
Scrubs
"CO X: Oh."
Scrubs
"How beautifully ironic that the queen of sensible slacks"
Scrubs
"is not even wearing the pants in her very own relationship."
Scrubs
"- What are you talking about? - Now, I saw how fast Drew"
Scrubs
"put the kibosh on that double-dating idea."
Scrubs
"Missy, you realize you're shoulder-deep in that inevitable turf war"
Scrubs
"that defines modern coupledom, and psst..."
Scrubs
"(WHISPERING) He is winning."
Scrubs
"And make no mistake about it. Early victories are huge."
Scrubs
"In our first month dating, Jordan made me give up tomatoes,"
Scrubs
"speaking to my mother and my ponytail."
Scrubs
"Honest to God, I can still feel it some mornings."
Scrubs
"I see your point."
Scrubs
"Because you are so very different from every other couple"
Scrubs
"in the history of doomed relationships."
Scrubs
"Note to self. They're different."
Scrubs
"Turk, I can see the number "23" from here."
Scrubs
"We don't need that stupid magnifying glass."
Scrubs
"J. D: Damn, why didn't I get one of those for me?"
Scrubs
"You've gotta be careful when you're working a mystery."
Scrubs
"(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)"
Scrubs
"- Dr. Kelso? - Well, well."
Scrubs
"Well, come in or shut the door. You're letting all the funk out."
Scrubs
"Hey, I know you were thinking of Chinese food tonight,"
Scrubs
"but I want to do Italian."
Scrubs
"- Okay. - Great."
Scrubs
"Perfect."
Scrubs
"(CO X GROANING SADLY)"
Scrubs
"(CO X IMITATING BLOW TORCH)"
Scrubs
"J. D: Especially if what you discover is that you're still totally lost."
Scrubs
"Come on, girl, do it. Make me bleed!"
Scrubs
"I can't do it. I'm never gonna be able to do it."
Scrubs
"There's my big box of failure."
Scrubs
"Oh, Santa, you got my letters, you fat bastard."
Scrubs
"(SINGING CAROL)"
Scrubs
"Crap."
Scrubs
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