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Clips from South Park - A Ladder to Heaven (S06E06)

"Oh my God, you guys! You guys!"
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"we have evidence that Saddam Hussein is up there"
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"building weapons of mass destruction."
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"but he has not responded."
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"Of course he has not responded because he's dead!"
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"Right, dead and in heaven."
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"what makes you think Saddam Hussein's soul"
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"would be sent there?"
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"his soul actually went to hell."
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"But while in hell, he began a homosexual relationship"
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"Are you high or just incredibly stupid?"
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"I assure you, I am not high."
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"What do you mean, fat-ass?"
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"Kenny didn't keep the ticket with him. He put it away somewhere."
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"- Where?! - I don't know!"
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"and I clearly saw Kenny putting the ticket"
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"I just have to wait for another vision to come."
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"You see anything?"
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"Yes, Kyle..."
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"I see a dead Jew!"
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Maybe Kyle's right."
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"See for yourself."
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"This is Nobunaga Hiroichi reporting rive from heaben."
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"The great nation of Japan reached heaben today"
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"about 8:00 pacific standard time."
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"Ohhh!"
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"Therefore, heaben is now declared an official part of Japan."
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"And now for the weather in heaben, let's go to Natsuko Sen."
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"Today weather in heaven: Partly cloudy."
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"Oh God, and we told our boys they'd never reach heaven."
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"Do you really think this is a good idea, Randy?"
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"With our weapons."
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"Excuse me, everyone!"
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"We're not working on the ladder anymore. Thank you, we're done."
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"Not working on the ladder?"
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"But the Japanese won't let us use theirs."
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"Kenny didn't have the ticket stub, it was in his room!"
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"So we got all our candy and you can all go home!"
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"that you boys only wanted to build a ladder to heaven"
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"so you could get some candy?"
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"I've never heard the words "only" and "candy""
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"in the same sentence before."
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"What about your fragile innocence in believing we could all get to heaven?"
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"Maybe heaven is just an idea."
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"Maybe heaven... is this moment right now."
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"- Right, Johnson! - Sir!"
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"No, no! We shouldn't bomb anybody."
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"These boys are right."
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"We should stop waiting to get into heaven"
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"and start trying to create it."
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"Aww..."
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"And I was dumb enough to believe"
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"Saddam could actually be up there building bombs."
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"# Where were you #"
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"# And couldn't, couldn't really get there #"
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"Let's go count our candy."
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"No, no, I just drank his memories."
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"I'm not sharing my body with that poor piece of crap."
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"Stop calling me poor, you fat dick!"
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"Oh, Jesus Christ."
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"Whoa, Kenny, you in there?"
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"Stop it!"
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"Dude, come back here!"
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"Keep those nitrogen capsules over there by the warheads."
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"Right, chop chop! Come on!"
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"that you're secretly building weapons of mass destruction up here."
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"Weapons of mass destruction!"
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"No, this is a chocolate chip factory, see?"
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"It looks like a chemical weapons plant."
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"Look, God,"
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"if I was gonna secretly build a chemical weapons plant"
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"I'd make it look like a chocolate chip factory or something."
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"Alright, just checking."
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"Stupid asshole."
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"Jesus Christ!"
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"Don't you see?"
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"That's the news from heaben."
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"Wait, are you saying"
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"# When they decided heaven was a more intangible idea #"
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"I wouldn't make it look like a chemical weapons plant, would I?"
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"we need to see his remains for closure."
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"to get our winning ticket back."
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"Hold onto this, Cartman, I might lose it."
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"Ladies and gentlemen of the U.N.,"
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"Yeah, but now we think maybe heaven isn't a place you can get to."
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"I mean, how can I not believe?"
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"You'll need it to claim your prize!"
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"Hey, Randy, can I borrow your--"
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"Here we see what we believe to be a missile silo."
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"We're the kids whose names you called on your commercial last night."
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"He was cremated."
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"Good, as soon as the boys finish their ladder,"
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"with Satan, the prince of darkness."
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"# Yeah yeah yeah #"
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"that they aren't really going to get to heaven."
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"Questions?"
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"God damn it!"
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"We don't really need the ticket stub, do we?"
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"I have a new CD out with all my 9-11 songs"
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"Pltftfff!"
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"that Japan will reach heaven before the United States."
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"War's not my voice!"
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"God damn it."
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"We gotta spark the vision somehow."
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"What?"
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"But what about your lost friend?"
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"We're here to do the shopping spree."
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"Satan, however, decided he didn't wanna be with Hussein anymore"
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"It was such a long time ago!"
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"This country's just run by rednecks and bumpkins with their guns!"
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"Hard nipples!"
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"The Japanese just reached it with their ladder."
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"Not by giving me brain damage!"
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"Oh, that's great."
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"and broke up with him around August."
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"then there would--"
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"Oh shit, who has the ticket stub?"
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"Randy, Gerald, we were wrong about heaven."
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"Do you want a candy shopping spree or not?"
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"We have to take Saddam out to protect ourselves!"
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