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Clips from Broad City - House-Sitting (S04E04)

"- Oh, my Gosh. - Uh, single file!"
Broad City
"Single file? I'm only one person."
Broad City
"Use the buddy system!"
Broad City
"- (SIGHS) - All right, roll call."
Broad City
"- (SIGHS) - Dryer set fire."
Broad City
"It's built only to dry satins, silk, or gold-infused fabrics."
Broad City
"Looks like you guys are drying cheap cotton and polyester here."
Broad City
"Thank you, sorry."
Broad City
"(PHONE VIBRATES)"
Broad City
"Great!"
Broad City
"Enjoy the Hamptons, and I'll talk to you soon."
Broad City
"Uh, doesn't affect her in any way."
Broad City
"- Wow. - That must be nice."
Broad City
"Thanks for coming over. It was interesting."
Broad City
"Richard, wait."
Broad City
"Jerk off to your students?"
Broad City
"If you don't use it regularly,"
Broad City
"it goes away."
Broad City
"What a righteous dude."
Broad City
"I get carded almost all the time."
Broad City
"- I'm sure. - Like, almost every time"
Broad City
"- I bet... - Because people think I'm..."
Broad City
"- way younger. - Yeah,"
Broad City
"definitely ten years ago, I'm sure."
Broad City
"- Thank you for house-sitting. - Thank you."
Broad City
"Five paragraph essay! Five paragraph essay!"
Broad City
"My high school English teacher, Mr. Miller, is on Bumble."
Broad City
"(BEEPING)"
Broad City
"- All right, what do I say? - Say, um..."
Broad City
"um, just trying not to choke it out with a label."
Broad City
"like resort wear?"
Broad City
"Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Um, do like..."
Broad City
"(ANGELIC MUSIC)"
Broad City
"and... the coochie de gras."
Broad City
"- I'm so sorry. I... - Go."
Broad City
"We got it."
Broad City
"(DOOR CLOSES)"
Broad City
"RICHARD: That's great."
Broad City
"(BEEPING)"
Broad City
"- What? - Yeah!"
Broad City
"You were so much cuter than her."
Broad City
"- Hon, do zip me up. - Of course, m'lady."
Broad City
"Oh, sweetie, let me get that for you. Your fingers are for two things."
Broad City
"I need to talk."
Broad City
"- Whoa, love that outfit. - Thank you."
Broad City
"He said he thought about me like that."
Broad City
"I mean, you don't think..."
Broad City
"That he jerked off to me?"
Broad City
"Oh, sweet Abbi."
Broad City
"Once students have flowered,"
Broad City
"I don't know, it still creeps me out."
Broad City
"And are you a creep? Are you a criminal?"
Broad City
"- Oh, sorry, I'm sorry. - Don't..."
Broad City
"(HOARSE) All good. Excuse me one sec."
Broad City
"Hey, sorry about those last few things I said."
Broad City
"Got sort of a full body with a tannic grip."
Broad City
"(SIGHS) Hello, Europe."
Broad City
"(SCREAMS)"
Broad City
"Super sexy."
Broad City
"Ooh"
Broad City
"Told you I have a refractory period."
Broad City
"Looks like somebody didn't do her homework."
Broad City
"Wait, what?"
Broad City
"I mean, I might, but I don't know yet."
Broad City
"Yeah, 'cause a lifetime sounds ominous and scary."
Broad City
"- Wow! - Oh, my..."
Broad City
"But that, sir, that was just disgusting. I hope you know that. Disgusting."
Broad City
"I promise to improve. You're my priority now."
Broad City
"All right, let's get real."
Broad City
"Um, she didn't even know there was a laundry room."
Broad City
"All clear."
Broad City
"Forget about me"
Broad City
"(HELICOPTER FLYING AWAY)"
Broad City
"We do it for a year, short-term."
Broad City
"Huh, a taxidermy room."
Broad City
"Supposedly. With a "D.""
Broad City
"(SIGHS)"
Broad City
"This is, um, actually pretty good."
Broad City
"It's a Newton Elite."
Broad City
"(BEEPING)"
Broad City
"Do you..."
Broad City
"I mean, for sure."
Broad City
"I think it's... I think we can see that we're all here, it's fine."
Broad City
"(GRUNTING)"
Broad City
"(BEEPS) (WATER RUNNING HEAVILY)"
Broad City
"It's wet."
Broad City
"I, um..."
Broad City
"(WHISPERS) You can't just hold books. You have to actually read them."
Broad City
"- (BREAKS WIND) - (LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"Full bodies with tannic grips."
Broad City
"Boy... Friend?"
Broad City
"See how it's going, like a phone contract."
Broad City
"- and that he should stop by. - (FINGERS SNAP)"
Broad City
"- What? - Think about what we have sacrificed"
Broad City
"You have to keep reading. Your brain is a muscle."
Broad City
"(BREAKS WIND RHYTHMICALLY)"
Broad City
"Poppin' Power Rangers, purple, yellow, pink"
Broad City
"I'm taking Oliver for detox in the Hamptons."
Broad City
"This is unreal."
Broad City
"- You ready? - Yeah."
Broad City
"You know, I had an adult circumcision"
Broad City
"- Friend from way back when. - Pal and a confidant."
Broad City
"And this is Lincoln. He is my..."
Broad City
"(ANGELIC MUSIC)"
Broad City
"Okay, is it kinda weird that we're on a date?"
Broad City
"(BREAKS WIND)"
Broad City
"Don't you"
Broad City