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Clips from 30 Rock - Chain Reaction of Mental Anguish (S05E05)

"Why, I once ate an entire witch. A pig was nothing!"
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"And then... they brought me mine."
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"It was Harold, and I ate all of him..."
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"Good God."
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"Okay."
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"Or you gave his death meaning."
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"which is..."
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"the lowest-level employee at the last-place network in America."
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"Thank you, sir, I'll think on that."
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"And you're sure you're okay hearing about all my problems?"
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"Of course. I'm Jack Donaghy."
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"Oh, no! Crush it!"
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"I'm in here, Paul."
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"The restaurant was crazy today."
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"During Nude Hour, I got custard all over my penis."
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"What's going on in here?"
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"You want to take this to the next level?"
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"pretend the tape got stolen,"
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"Wow. I don't know, Jenna. I'm pretty beat."
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"Fine."
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"I guess we're just done having any adventure or excitement in our lives."
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"Well, jeez, I'm sorry that I'm happy with the way things are."
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"and then go to bed in our swing like a normal couple?"
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"We might as well be married!"
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"This is about you being afraid to settle down with me."
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"That's not true!"
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"Fine, let's do this tape, but then what?"
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"What will you want next?"
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"No, Jenna."
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"I'm saying adopting a dog so it can watch us make love"
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"and then returning it, claiming that it bit our imaginary child,"
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"is everything that I need."
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"I'm sorry."
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"Very well."
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"I'm not gonna beg you."
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"I'll come get them tomorrow while you're at work."
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"I told him everything! How Harold..."
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"Look how small my head is."
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"Oh, my!"
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"Daddy, I wanted to give you your share of our profits"
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"Someone left it in coat check."
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"a story about fathers and sons,"
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"and despite my best effort, it unearthed"
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"a memory from my own childhood."
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"As a boy, I wanted to be an astronaut or a deep-sea diver,"
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"a man of science."
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"The night before, Jimmy came home drunk"
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"Chowderhead can't even say the words. You'll never be nothin'!""
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"The next day, I was up on that stage..."
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"I looked out at the audience, I saw Jimmy, and I froze."
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"I am a protoin!"
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"Protein! All living orgasms... I mean orgasms!"
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"When I got home, I threw away my microscope, my shell collection,"
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"Nerd!"
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"A parent is the one person who is supposed to make their kid think"
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"they can do anything,"
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"You couldn't be a scientist."
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"You couldn't even be protein in a school play."
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"And I can't run a business. I'm a failure."
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"I..."
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"All living organisms need me to function!"
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"I am made from amino acids found in ribosomes."
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"Proteins give energy to everything from flowers and butterflies"
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"I am a protein!"
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"from all across the United States?"
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"And it's going to work, son!"
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"This is what happens when you work at being happy!"
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"Godzilla sits next to you while you're eating an egg-salad sandwich."
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"What a world!"
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"What's the point? I moved here to make it on Broadway."
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"I've got no real skills,"
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"a degree in Theater Tech,"
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"All of your old friends have kids and careers, and what do you have?"
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"Maybe your name on a TV show that no one will even remember."
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"I should have moved to Cleveland with that guy when I had the chance."
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"Well, the theme-restaurant business model does work."
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"So it's decided. Jack's on board as an investor."
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"Oh. I thought you meant marriage."
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"You settle into a routine, you lose all the spark."
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"Because we are not sharks."
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"Jack, what makes a guy get bored in a dating situation?"
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"It's Mechagodzila!"
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"You liked it!"
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"And, of course, there's Santa Claus."
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"When I didn't get it, my dad blamed Santa Claus."
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"So over Christmas,"
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"Happy anniversary."
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"Kenneth, you're the perfect therapist."
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"Unemotional. Got it."
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"Is that true, Daddy?"
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"I think has to do with my issues with sex."
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"Is Kenneth your therapist?"
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"Please let Harold be human."
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"I would have recognized those eyes anywhere."
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"Let's videotape our lovemaking,"
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"I see."
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"You're making it impossible to live up to your expectations."
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"I'll trust you to fairly divide up our panties."
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"Kenneth, it's okay. I'm not worried about Carol anymore."
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"I'm just sorry I messed you up like that."
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"Don't worry. I had my brain cleaned by Mr. Donaghy."
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"No, no, don't tell me your story! I can't handle it."
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"before I shut down my dream."
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"But I was raised by Jimmy Donaghy,"
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"and found me rehearsing my lines."
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""Well, looky here."
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"Doctor Jack, the boy who wants to be a scientist."
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"That's a nice long speech and all, but your daddy was right."
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"...am a protein!"
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"where people can call in and get air-quality reports"
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"...American Airlines!"
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"Hey, what was that sound?"
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"and he will no longer support you financially."
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"I blame Obama."
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"Witness the primeval might that is Godzila,"
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"Ho! Ho! Ho!"
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"He said they live in a "soo-borb"?"
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"Call me old-fashioned, but I think that's the man's job."
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"Well, there's a sex resort in Japan"
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"Tracy, listen to me! I was wrong. Don't turn your back on Donald."
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