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Clips from Roseanne (2018) (S01E01)

"My daughter's gay!"
Roseanne (2018)
"Yeah!"
Roseanne (2018)
"What's for breakfast?"
Roseanne (2018)
"You better carbo-load."
Roseanne (2018)
"I have a feeling today's gonna be"
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, well, then start walking."
Roseanne (2018)
"No, you have to drive me."
Roseanne (2018)
"You've gotta be there to sign a form"
Roseanne (2018)
"- saying I'm up to date with all my shots. - What? I was taking Mark."
Roseanne (2018)
"I don't have time to go to your school"
Roseanne (2018)
"and pretend I get you proper medical care."
Roseanne (2018)
"O-Okay. All right, fine."
Roseanne (2018)
"Can one of you guys take Mark?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Yes, I'll take little Braveheart."
Roseanne (2018)
"[TELEVISION PLAYING]"
Roseanne (2018)
"- Hey, Mark. - Yeah?"
Roseanne (2018)
"I'm taking you to school,"
Roseanne (2018)
"Shove over."
Roseanne (2018)
"but you're growing up,"
Roseanne (2018)
"A boy."
Roseanne (2018)
"Well, you answered that pretty quick."
Roseanne (2018)
"So, what's up with the girls' clothes?"
Roseanne (2018)
"I like colors that pop. It's more creative."
Roseanne (2018)
"but here's the thing..."
Roseanne (2018)
"You gotta pick your fights in life."
Roseanne (2018)
"Okay."
Roseanne (2018)
"[SIGHS]"
Roseanne (2018)
"Mark, why don't you find a seat."
Roseanne (2018)
"Do you mind if I talk to the class for a minute?"
Roseanne (2018)
"No, go ahead."
Roseanne (2018)
"Eyes up here."
Roseanne (2018)
"and, uh, this is my grandson, Mark,"
Roseanne (2018)
"'cause he is a lot of fun, and he's very fashionable."
Roseanne (2018)
"Sometimes he wants to wear a dress or a real fancy top."
Roseanne (2018)
"I think he's gonna grow up and be a fashion designer."
Roseanne (2018)
"A really famous one,"
Roseanne (2018)
"or that Ross guy."
Roseanne (2018)
"to make the new kid feel welcome."
Roseanne (2018)
"Hi, Rebecca."
Roseanne (2018)
""Rebecca"?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Hi. I'm her Aunt Jacqueline,"
Roseanne (2018)
"Thank you."
Roseanne (2018)
"Journeys! Mm."
Roseanne (2018)
"I, uh, brought you some ionized water in glass bottles."
Roseanne (2018)
"This is my mother, Roseanne Conner."
Roseanne (2018)
"She's a hoot."
Roseanne (2018)
"Why don't we sit down."
Roseanne (2018)
"Mrs. Conner, did all of your children's deliveries"
Roseanne (2018)
"go according to your birth plan?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Um..."
Roseanne (2018)
"They found their way out, if that's what you mean."
Roseanne (2018)
"that arose?"
Roseanne (2018)
"A time when the newborn might have been in distress?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Okay. Next question."
Roseanne (2018)
"I mean, I get anxiety on international flights."
Roseanne (2018)
"but I'm pretty sure she's stark, raving..."
Roseanne (2018)
"If it's okay, I have some questions for you, too, Andrea."
Roseanne (2018)
"I hope you don't mind."
Roseanne (2018)
"Oh, no, it's fine. Really."
Roseanne (2018)
"Mom!"
Roseanne (2018)
"- Becky's egg will be extracted at the hospital... - Use Becky's egg. Be extracted. That's right."
Roseanne (2018)
"And then the healthiest one"
Roseanne (2018)
"So, how are you gonna take care of Becky"
Roseanne (2018)
"through this whole thing?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Say what now?"
Roseanne (2018)
"recover so much faster."
Roseanne (2018)
"you don't need to be."
Roseanne (2018)
"I don't care how long it takes to recover."
Roseanne (2018)
"I'll take all the drugs you got."
Roseanne (2018)
"- What happened with Mark? - Nothing. He's fine. Where's Dad?"
Roseanne (2018)
"He's in the kitchen."
Roseanne (2018)
"He's washing his tail in the sink."
Roseanne (2018)
"Guess what?"
Roseanne (2018)
"Yeah, he showed a kid a knife at school,"
Roseanne (2018)
"and he said you gave it to him."
Roseanne (2018)
"- Is that true? - What?"
Roseanne (2018)
"What the hell were you thinking?"
Roseanne (2018)
"I didn't think it was that big of a deal, Darlene."
Roseanne (2018)
"You wanted a knife at that age, I gave you one."
Roseanne (2018)
"That was to defend myself at home."
Roseanne (2018)
"You know, I know why you gave Mark a knife."
Roseanne (2018)
"It's to turn him into your version of a boy."
Roseanne (2018)
"And, yeah, I admit, I was happy he liked it."
Roseanne (2018)
"He's got a pocketknife now."
Roseanne (2018)
"So, you admit it?"
Roseanne (2018)
"And no, I'm not."
Roseanne (2018)
"what do you think a classroom full of 10-year-olds"
Roseanne (2018)
"From what I remember"
Roseanne (2018)
"what you don't understand, you beat the crap out of."
Roseanne (2018)
"I don't know, Dad."
Roseanne (2018)
"Maybe things have changed over the last fifty years."
Roseanne (2018)
"Maybe. Maybe not."
Roseanne (2018)
"why he really had that knife out today?"
Roseanne (2018)
"I'm guessing it wasn't for show and tell."
Roseanne (2018)
"Well, I'm keeping a lid on things out there,"
Roseanne (2018)
"that Andrea's gonna eat Becky's placenta."
Roseanne (2018)
"Hey, you guys gotta go fight someplace else."
Roseanne (2018)
"I need to yell at Becky in here."
Roseanne (2018)
"It's... It's fine. We're done."
Roseanne (2018)
"He got caught with a knife at school."
Roseanne (2018)
"Dad... Mom needs to chill."
Roseanne (2018)
"I am not letting you ruin this for me."
Roseanne (2018)
"or just to sit on my ass for two minutes"
Roseanne (2018)
"[VOICE BREAKING] without stressing about money!"
Roseanne (2018)
"Becky, you might not want to see this baby,"
Roseanne (2018)
"And I'll tell you how this whole thing's gonna end."
Roseanne (2018)
"I'll be kidnapping my own grandkid,"
Roseanne (2018)
"And don't think that's a deterrent"
Roseanne (2018)
"'cause I'll probably do less laundry!"
Roseanne (2018)
"Yeah, I do."
Roseanne (2018)
"Okay, sit down."
Roseanne (2018)
"[SIGHS] I'm gonna ask you something,"
Roseanne (2018)
"and you gotta be honest with me."
Roseanne (2018)
"Don't worry. You're not gonna get in trouble."
Roseanne (2018)
"That's what you said last time."
Roseanne (2018)
"Yeah, but this time I mean it."
Roseanne (2018)
"That's what you said last time."
Roseanne (2018)
"Okay, we've established you remember things."
Roseanne (2018)
"Why did you take that knife out at school?"
Roseanne (2018)
"That's when I decided to give it to him as a gift."
Roseanne (2018)
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