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Clips from American Dad! - When a Stan Loves a Woman (S02E02)

"Oh, my God. This is an intervention."
American Dad!
"I sold you fake tickets and still all you wanna do is help me."
American Dad!
"Yeah, we're gonna help you."
American Dad!
"No!"
American Dad!
"Hey, this is my friend Manny. He's the..."
American Dad!
"Do, do, do, do, do"
American Dad!
"Stan, you're here."
American Dad!
"Joanna and I traded rooms with some bald guy."
American Dad!
"I was gazing at her naked body, but all I could think of was you."
American Dad!
"Because the thought of you being with someone else was driving me crazy."
American Dad!
"But in my heart I knew it. I knew you wouldn't have sex with her."
American Dad!
"- Oh, no, I had sex with her. - What?"
American Dad!
"Yeah, she's my wife. It was my honeymoon."
American Dad!
"Anyway, you were right."
American Dad!
"All those guys you slept with before me meant nothing."
American Dad!
"- Like the sex I just had with Joanna. - You had sex with her?"
American Dad!
"Five times. I wanted to make sure it was consistently meaningless, and it was."
American Dad!
"Okay, you're free to go."
American Dad!
"Spread your legs and fly."
American Dad!
"It's true. It's true. Look at me. Look at me. You are."
American Dad!
"Daniela, I was tougher on you than all the rest..."
American Dad!
"And now look. You have become one of the skankiest hos..."
American Dad!
"Now go. Go."
American Dad!
"They're gonna be okay. They're gonna be okay."
American Dad!
"So your mother and I are remarried and I think we're stronger for it, aren't we?"
American Dad!
"So where's all our stuff?"
American Dad!
"Joanna got half of everything in the divorce."
American Dad!
"She is one vindictive..."
American Dad!
"Joanna got joint custody. We get him every other weekend."
American Dad!
"No."
American Dad!
"I've never slept with anyone except you."
American Dad!
"All right, that's it."
American Dad!
"It's gotta be pushing things. Like a watch."
American Dad!
"...so I decided to book us a romantic getaway."
American Dad!
"Mechanical, degrading, pulling-gravel-from-my-knees sex."
American Dad!
"I'm divorcing you."
American Dad!
"Couldn't rise to the occasion, not even a little."
American Dad!
"Oh, yeah."
American Dad!
"Haven't seen this guy in a while."
American Dad!
"Let's bring on the charm."
American Dad!
"- Hi, I'm... - Intercourse!"
American Dad!
"We need to get back to Concord for my mom's funeral."
American Dad!
"If you give me your address, I'll send it back to you."
American Dad!
"You guys should get involved. It makes you feel good about yourself."
American Dad!
"I'm just gonna go."
American Dad!
"I have a rowboat, so it's no big deal to dump stuff."
American Dad!
"- I'm not waiting 10 seconds. - I'm gonna put my hand in the cheese."
American Dad!
"Hey, look at that smile."
American Dad!
"But I did meet someone."
American Dad!
"You're handing me the salt? I want it on my eggs."
American Dad!
"- No. - Thank God."
American Dad!
"- We weren't expecting to get married. - We were gonna play laser tag."
American Dad!
"Oh, a wedding."
American Dad!
"Would you like to check any specific name?"
American Dad!
"Hands off my man!"
American Dad!
"Help you pee blood."
American Dad!
"But I checked the hotel for all the Smiths."
American Dad!
"- Where is she? - I left her. We were in bed."
American Dad!
"Now I know what you meant about it being just sex."
American Dad!
"You are some of the best hos I've ever had."
American Dad!
"So do you have a TV?"
American Dad!
"But please wait 30 minutes before eating..."
American Dad!
"Take it somewhere else, spaz."
American Dad!
"I'm scared."
American Dad!
"I sell ex, but I don't use it."
American Dad!
"- Excuse me? - Intercourse."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna call the da Vinci family. You're gonna owe them so much money."
American Dad!
"Hotter than the burning flesh of Shel Silverstein in hell."
American Dad!
"That's it. Tickets are off the table."
American Dad!
"She loves the finer things, this one."
American Dad!
"- You were supposed to have sex with her. - I'm easing into it."
American Dad!
"This is insane."
American Dad!
"But if Francine thinks this is gonna save our marriage..."
American Dad!
"Do you, Patrick, promise to..."
American Dad!
"Don't be ridiculous. I can't cheat on you."
American Dad!
"Me in the bathroom"
American Dad!
"Be ready for that dawn."
American Dad!
"- I'm cocking my gun. - One. Safety's off."
American Dad!
"I feel weird. Something's happening to my body."
American Dad!
"- Three. - Three."
American Dad!
"The thing is, I've been with so many men that he couldn't perform in bed."
American Dad!
"What are you talking about? Get out."
American Dad!
"Can I borrow a quarter?"
American Dad!
"Let's go. I gotta keep moving..."
American Dad!
"It's electricity, but it's gotta be physical."
American Dad!
"...without being barraged by filth?"
American Dad!
"These look like they're handwritten."
American Dad!
"They're right here on my screen. I could say them to you."
American Dad!
"Look at that, honey. A bunch of other people planted rosebushes just like you."
American Dad!
"...but I see you taking more poundings than Omaha Beach..."
American Dad!
"I'm staying in here with you, belly."
American Dad!
"But, Stan, we have to do something."
American Dad!
"Gotta dust off the old single-Stan threads."
American Dad!
"Okay. God bless you, miss."
American Dad!
"- I'll shoot back. - I'm gonna."
American Dad!
"Whatever our issues are, we'll work through them together."
American Dad!
"Stan. Promise to..."
American Dad!
"What the fuck is going on?"
American Dad!
"If it means anything, I'll always miss you."
American Dad!
"Gotta go. We have to check into our suite at the Radisson."
American Dad!
"- Francine, wait. - What?"
American Dad!
"Let's see. We have Smiths in room 313, 520 and 1611."
American Dad!
"It's for science."
American Dad!
"No time!"
American Dad!
"Let's kill his parents next. Let's kill them all."
American Dad!
"- Would you like another? - Why not? I'm one of them now."
American Dad!