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Clips from American Dad! - I Can't Stan You (S02E02)

"I tripped on your walkway and I need compensation. I'll take a check."
American Dad!
"And I'll need two forms of ID. Passport's okay, or a utility bill with your current..."
American Dad!
"Roger, please don't do this."
American Dad!
"Mr. Hallworthy's always been very sweet to me."
American Dad!
"Mr. Hallworthy, I have to tell you the truth."
American Dad!
"Lying is awesome."
American Dad!
"So just to show him I'm not a hardhearted man..."
American Dad!
"Why, hello, Lisa."
American Dad!
"Mommy met Jared at Black Angus while we waited in the car."
American Dad!
"Well, come along, kids. You can play house while Jared and I fornicate..."
American Dad!
"Oh, are people heading home already?"
American Dad!
"Afraid so, Bob. You see, I've got a very busy..."
American Dad!
"Beloved. I feel I am beloved."
American Dad!
"- Nurse, I'm ready for my bath. - Who's there? Santa?"
American Dad!
"That's Mr. Hallworthy."
American Dad!
"I must have forgotten to turn off my surveillance equipment."
American Dad!
"Did you enjoy the barbecue, sir?"
American Dad!
"Yes, except for Stan Smith 's interminable yammering."
American Dad!
"I thought his stories would never end."
American Dad!
"But that's the surprise. You think my stories won't end, but they do."
American Dad!
"How could he say such things? Doesn't he know everyone loves me?"
American Dad!
"Stan, maybe it's not right to listen in on..."
American Dad!
"I mean, what kind of cheap bastard does that?"
American Dad!
"Bob, no."
American Dad!
"Why does Stan always show us his class ring?"
American Dad!
"Because when stupid people get nervous, they talk about shiny things."
American Dad!
"But gay men are never catty."
American Dad!
"What's happening? Somebody must like me."
American Dad!
"I made lemonade and fudge."
American Dad!
"I know, Johnny. But please, Mommy's almost there."
American Dad!
"- He's a pig-headed... - No-neck..."
American Dad!
"Jackass."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God, I'm not beloved, I'm hated."
American Dad!
"Except I'm you."
American Dad!
"My God, everybody hates me."
American Dad!
"I feel like a Jew outside of New York or Los Angeles."
American Dad!
"Hey, why don't we throw a party of our own?"
American Dad!
"That's a brilliant idea. We should form a think tank."
American Dad!
"What, with your ability to come up with ideas and my ability to assess their worth."
American Dad!
"- We should call it Thoughts Unlimited. - That's terrible."
American Dad!
"All right, Steve, we are moments away from getting a lifetime supply..."
American Dad!
"You go..."
American Dad!
"You don't get paid to think, you get paid to look honest."
American Dad!
"Don't worry, buddy, we'll get you fixed up."
American Dad!
"This wasn't properly anchored."
American Dad!
"I put out lobster, caviar, and a bowl of $ 10 bills."
American Dad!
"Johnny."
American Dad!
"We're having fun now."
American Dad!
"So, Lisa, who is this handsome new piece of arm candy?"
American Dad!
"We hooked up at the ARCO while the kids were pumping gas."
American Dad!
"Now, you might notice he smells like fish."
American Dad!
"Well, that's because his father owns a herring farm."
American Dad!
"People don't realize there are over 300 types of herring."
American Dad!
"The blue herring, the light-blue herring, the medium-blue herring..."
American Dad!
"...which is really only a juvenile light-blue herring..."
American Dad!
"Well, thanks for the party."
American Dad!
"Let me know how it turns out."
American Dad!
"- Thanks again. - Bye."
American Dad!
"- That was nice of you. - Thank you for coming."
American Dad!
"Bob, no."
American Dad!
"He kept asking about my shoes."
American Dad!
"And the way Stan stared at me when I was talking."
American Dad!
"Like he'd never eaten a lavender herring."
American Dad!
"Smith was so phony. Like my children 's love."
American Dad!
"- I love you, and that's all that matters. - To you, maybe."
American Dad!
"Francine, I will make these people like me."
American Dad!
"As God as my witness, I will be beloved."
American Dad!
"Attention, neighbors. An important part of any relationship is vulnerability..."
American Dad!
"...so I will now share with you painful and embarrassing chapters from my life."
American Dad!
"When she cried, I called her "Little Sally Crypants"."
American Dad!
"I don't know why I did it."
American Dad!
"Age 15: I put a bunch of flies in a blender..."
American Dad!
"Accordingly, I am now going to paint all of your houses at once."
American Dad!
"- Are these rocks? - Not just any rocks, pocket rocks."
American Dad!
"That's how you know you got pocket rocks. Happy birthday."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God. Johnny fell in the pool playing with his new birthday present."
American Dad!
"For he who is not afraid to risk life and limb for a neighbor in need..."
American Dad!
"My baby."
American Dad!
"Hi. I have to sell my house because my neighbors don't like me."
American Dad!
"- Where are you guys going? - Taking Maggie for a long weekend..."
American Dad!
"We do now. Congress is letting the CIA seize any property..."
American Dad!
"...that could help in the war on terror. - This is cool with Bullock?"
American Dad!
"Wow, so we can just seize anybody's house we want?"
American Dad!
"CIA. Your house has been seized to help in the war on terror."
American Dad!
"How's our house gonna help in the war on terror?"
American Dad!
"There should be no more terror at all very soon."
American Dad!
"You will each receive a coupon good for a five-night stay at the Cornfield Motel."
American Dad!
"The Cornfield Motel, providing you all the comfort and elegance of corn."
American Dad!
"In other words, there goes the neighborhood."
American Dad!
"I tried to be nice."
American Dad!
"I bared my soul, I painted their houses, I drowned their kids."
American Dad!
"Dad, you can't just uproot people from their homes."
American Dad!
"Oh, am I? Would an insane man try to drink you?"
American Dad!
"Gross. Gross."
American Dad!
"Nobody criticizes me. Nobody."
American Dad!
"Honey, no one's criticizing you. We're your family."
American Dad!
"Well, things can happen to families too. Bad things."
American Dad!
"No, no, I'm just locked out. I don't know how I got out here."
American Dad!
"Steve, go put on a tie. We're going to the Four Seasons..."
American Dad!
"I know. I know I'm not the brain, but just hear me out."
American Dad!
"Instead of me getting my ass kicked in all these nickel-and-dime cons..."
American Dad!
"If we can pull this off, we'll each make 50 grand."
American Dad!
"Face, that's catch-your-dream money, that's what that is. So what's the scam?"
American Dad!
"Buy the house, don't buy, you're comped. Don't let it influence your decision."
American Dad!
"My mother killed herself when I was 12... Track four."
American Dad!
"Come in, come in. Now, I love these built-ins."
American Dad!
"You don't see these anymore."
American Dad!
"And these are walls."
American Dad!
"You know when people say the walls are closing in on them?"
American Dad!
"Why is there a half-eaten meal on the table?"
American Dad!
"It almost looks like the occupants..."
American Dad!
"Oh, you can do the kitchen however you want."
American Dad!
"Remember the kid from Jerry Maguire?"
American Dad!
"Well, he pays me to call hotels before his arrival..."
American Dad!
"...to ensure they have pillows that can support his massive head."
American Dad!
"I do quite well."
American Dad!
"Which is why I'm prepared to offer you $99,000 and not a penny more."
American Dad!
"Oh, yeah? Let me see the cash."
American Dad!
"You gonna offer me 100k, or are you gonna let Jonathan Lipnicki's bitch..."
American Dad!
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