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Clips from American Dad! - I Can't Stan You (S02E02)

"...make you look like a punk in front of your hot wife?"
American Dad!
"Well, are you?"
American Dad!
"If he hears us, he'll send us all to the Cornfield Motel."
American Dad!
"Well, we have to do something. We can't keep living like this."
American Dad!
"Oh, mein Gott! He has heard everything."
American Dad!
"And if you criticize me, then you don't love me."
American Dad!
"Oh, no!"
American Dad!
"Stan, you can't do this."
American Dad!
"Oh, good, criticize me more. That worked well the first time."
American Dad!
"I am a rock. I am an island. I am incontinent."
American Dad!
"Get it? Sounds like continent."
American Dad!
"- Did that couple's check clear? - Yep. Fifty-grand for you, 50 for me."
American Dad!
"But If I hear that you die before me, I'll leave a rose on your grave every year."
American Dad!
"I'll think of you."
American Dad!
"I won't."
American Dad!
"We are so pleased you have chosen to purchase..."
American Dad!
"...and your complimentary fire extinguisher that shoots tequila."
American Dad!
"Is this heaven?"
American Dad!
"No, it's Mexico."
American Dad!
"That makes sense, because it smells like Mexico."
American Dad!
""Dear Roger, you taught me well. Perhaps a little too well."
American Dad!
"Adios, sucker. The Brain. ""
American Dad!
"...and the brain is stuck in Mexico without a penny."
American Dad!
"I must plan my next move carefully."
American Dad!
"This is how life should be."
American Dad!
"No one to criticize me."
American Dad!
"No one to disagree."
American Dad!
"Help me."
American Dad!
"- I thought you hated me. - What? Why would you think that?"
American Dad!
"I heard what you said about me. I was eavesdropping."
American Dad!
"I just ran into Hallworthy at the ice machine."
American Dad!
"He had food on his neck. How long has that been there?"
American Dad!
"That Linda Memari is one hairy woman."
American Dad!
"Let's make a list of people she hasn 't slept with."
American Dad!
"No more than anyone else."
American Dad!
"You know, you're a real bright kid, Johnny."
American Dad!
"Dead in the cornfield, crows pecking out your eyes. Mama can't find you for weeks."
American Dad!
"Sort out the rest yourselves."
American Dad!
"- That's mine, I called it. - No, it's not, it's mine."
American Dad!
"Open a tiny window, moth. How much fun is this thing, huh?"
American Dad!
"All I know is I have a casserole dish filled with mousetraps and I'm going."
American Dad!
"I'm surrounded by neighbors who love me."
American Dad!
"All Smith does is talk, he doesn 't know how to listen."
American Dad!
"You know, to show them they're wrong about you."
American Dad!
"Oh, this cup is irresponsibly hot."
American Dad!
"Oh, my face!"
American Dad!
"Nice work. What kind of caviar? See? See what I did there?"
American Dad!
"Hello, everybody. Please, come in and talk about yourselves at length."
American Dad!
"Thank you for the fascinating story about the shoes you couldn't decide between."
American Dad!
"Age 7: I put my little cousin's doll in a river and watched it float away."
American Dad!
"...I burned down their summer home."
American Dad!
"Hey, hey, hey, everybody, it's your favorite neighbor."
American Dad!
"Whoever saves him will certainly be beloved."
American Dad!
"Don't know. Nobody's seen him for days."
American Dad!
"Because they're no longer our neighbors."
American Dad!
"- Roger, I've got an idea. We... - Face, face, face."
American Dad!
"Fifty grand?"
American Dad!
"You must be the Hannigans. Maurice Barnes, All-Star Realty."
American Dad!
"You're gonna love this house."
American Dad!
"One of the paramedics molested me on the way to the morgue, it's in the liner notes."
American Dad!
"Well, this is what they're referring to. So do we have a deal?"
American Dad!
"- Oh, look, another serious buyer. - Hello, I'm another serious buyer."
American Dad!
"You were criticizing me."
American Dad!
"Don't try to find me."
American Dad!
"Now, all that remains is your franchise fee of $50,000."
American Dad!
"No one to..."
American Dad!
"...but I've actually done something far worse."
American Dad!
"What are we gonna do about Dad? He's completely lost it."
American Dad!
"Once."
American Dad!
"- Protestants only. - Oh, gee whiz."
American Dad!
"We really should get over there, I'm on fire."
American Dad!
"There. This should show people you're not cheap."
American Dad!
"Is there a dip for the $ 10 bills?"
American Dad!
"Keep them in your pockets. They only work in your pockets."
American Dad!
"Here you go. I'm also a singer-songwriter."
American Dad!
"You realize we can't speak to one another for a long time?"
American Dad!
"Awesome. So here's what I think we should do."
American Dad!
"Is that right? Well, aren't you a little..."
American Dad!
"- Stan, stop it. - He called me crazy."
American Dad!
"- What? What's going on? - I'm Steve's cousin."
American Dad!
"Just kidding, partner. You know, sometimes in life you meet people who..."
American Dad!
"This is just a photocopy of a 14-year-old boy's butt."
American Dad!
"But you're so young. How could you possibly afford this house?"
American Dad!
"- Yes. - Of course."
American Dad!
"Let's go to dinner."
American Dad!
"Well, I go inside, and there's this gorgeous guy buying a pretzel."
American Dad!
"I got the Memaris."
American Dad!
"I asked a follow-up question. I'm listening."
American Dad!
"I am the hit of the neighborhood. Our neighbors love me."
American Dad!
"Remind me never to go to the circus with you, we'd have nothing to talk about."
American Dad!
"As sweet as owning that PlayStation you've been lusting after?"
American Dad!
"I guess you were all three."
American Dad!
"I heard what everyone said. It was uncomplimentary."
American Dad!
"What a douche."
American Dad!
"Exactly."
American Dad!
"How interesting I find that. Please, continue."
American Dad!
"- Turn it off. Turn that thing off. - Oh, Stan, who cares what they think?"
American Dad!
"Age 11: When my parents wouldn't let me have a fourth cupcake..."
American Dad!
"Hey, what are you doing?"
American Dad!
"Ordinarily, that would have racist implications..."
American Dad!
"Honey, good news. The neighbors no longer hate me."
American Dad!
"What is the meaning of this?"
American Dad!
"- Oh, shrimp. - And caviar."
American Dad!