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Clips from King of the Hill - It's Not Easy Being Green (S05E05)

"why don't you teach these kids about..."
King of the Hill
"clean-burning, energy-efficient propane?"
King of the Hill
"You see, propane grills just perpetuate the whole culture of backyard barbecues..."
King of the Hill
"plastic forks, paper plates, meat."
King of the Hill
"I've sold three grills today using those exact same words..."
King of the Hill
"but with a more positive attitude."
King of the Hill
"And there's a summons to appear in the Middle School's environmental court."
King of the Hill
"Hank, it is no big deal. I was in and out of court in five minutes."
King of the Hill
"What? You actually went?"
King of the Hill
"Come on. Do it for Bobby."
King of the Hill
"as that Bobby Hall and brought home the wrong report card."
King of the Hill
"So help me God."
King of the Hill
"We're not allowed to bring the Bible to school."
King of the Hill
"Here we go."
King of the Hill
"Ignorance, no matter how profound and pathetic, is not an excuse."
King of the Hill
"Then I would like to change my client's plea to guilty..."
King of the Hill
"by reason of insanity."
King of the Hill
"What? I'm not insane."
King of the Hill
"Your witness."
King of the Hill
"I'm not a lawyer. I'm just a kid."
King of the Hill
"But you, sir, disgust me."
King of the Hill
"All right, that's it. I do not plead guilty."
King of the Hill
"We have a dumpster at Strickland Propane."
King of the Hill
"And we fill it with garbage. That's what it's there for."
King of the Hill
"I'll tell you what's ridiculous."
King of the Hill
"The city council is considering putting a new landfill in unincorporated Arlen."
King of the Hill
"If we put garbage somewhere, soon we'll be putting it everywhere."
King of the Hill
"Anybody want to sleep on a bed of yucky garbage and drink toxic waste?"
King of the Hill
"Come on."
King of the Hill
"to buy those new fire engines."
King of the Hill
"Who likes fire engines?"
King of the Hill
"- Itchy algae. - Itchy algae?"
King of the Hill
"It sounds like good riddance to me."
King of the Hill
"Just because itchy algae isn't cuddly..."
King of the Hill
"And after the weather, they did a story about a squirrel that water-skis."
King of the Hill
"And I went to bed happy."
King of the Hill
"I just remembered that I left my workbench in your basement, Dale."
King of the Hill
"[Dale sobs]"
King of the Hill
"No."
King of the Hill
"We agreed never to speak of that day again."
King of the Hill
"I remember."
King of the Hill
"Believe me, I remember."
King of the Hill
"if we're stuck standing around all the time?"
King of the Hill
"Wait a second. Kid Dy-no-mite has got it."
King of the Hill
"Why don't we take Boomhauefls car for a joyride?"
King of the Hill
"And you know what would be even more fun?"
King of the Hill
"If after we drive it, we fill it with gas..."
King of the Hill
"so the next time Boomhauer uses it he's like, "How'd that happen?""
King of the Hill
"It's legal and there's nothing they can do about it."
King of the Hill
"HANK: You're stripping the gears, Dale!"
King of the Hill
"Dale, stop!"
King of the Hill
"The left brake's not working."
King of the Hill
"[Dale screams]"
King of the Hill
"[Melancholic love song]"
King of the Hill
"That was close, but I think I'm okay."
King of the Hill
"Boomhauer's grave?"
King of the Hill
"Are you suggesting we kill Boomhauer?"
King of the Hill
"Well, you're the boss."
King of the Hill
"Yeah, but when they drain that quarry, they'll find his car..."
King of the Hill
"with our lettermen jackets right inside and he'll want to kill us."
King of the Hill
"Let's just say Councilman Fred Eber owes me one."
King of the Hill
"Looks like I'm gonna be out of a job soon, Hank."
King of the Hill
"It looks pretty useless. It would be perfect."
King of the Hill
"That's the quarry."
King of the Hill
"So, if you stop using newspapers, I can give you..."
King of the Hill
"a coupon for $20 off your first purchase of a windmill."
King of the Hill
"I don't use newspapers."
King of the Hill
"I want to be part of the solution."
King of the Hill
"I thought you said tree-huggers like me and Mr. McKay..."
King of the Hill
"were a bunch of noodle-brained communists."
King of the Hill
"No, no, no."
King of the Hill
"This is great!"
King of the Hill
"I'm gonna get extra credit for bringing you all on board."
King of the Hill
"We're gonna save itchy algae."
King of the Hill
"Earth first! Make Mars our bitch."
King of the Hill
"Principal Moss says our class can't get grades for protesting."
King of the Hill
"So all the other kids dropped out."
King of the Hill
"But don't worry, Dad. I still care."
King of the Hill
"Dang it, Bobby. That's exactly what we don't want."
King of the Hill
"I'm not done."
King of the Hill
"Now, that is good."
King of the Hill
"This is the first time in my life I've gotten you to change your mind about something."
King of the Hill
"Which one of my arguments did you love the most?"
King of the Hill
"Who wants some of Peggy Hill's rainforest cookies?"
King of the Hill
"They are made with sustainably-harvested Brazil nuts."
King of the Hill
"Yes."
King of the Hill
"Man, you talking about that old dang Sha Na Na going in there, man."
King of the Hill
"Go away!"
King of the Hill
"- You know, itchy algae, that might-- - You heard him. Beat it."
King of the Hill
"Man, fine."
King of the Hill
"CROWD: Drain the quarry, you'll be sorry!"
King of the Hill
"But today I present these petitions..."
King of the Hill
"signed by 200 citizens against the proposed landfill."
King of the Hill
"Hank, I understand how you and your fringe minority feel."
King of the Hill
"But that quarry is a festering stink-hole that the hoboes use as a giant toilet."
King of the Hill
"We're better off without it."
King of the Hill
"Let's put it to a vote. All in favor?"
King of the Hill
"Draining of the quarry will begin tomorrow at 9 a.m."
King of the Hill
"Dad, what are we gonna do?"
King of the Hill
"Don't worry, Son. I'll think of something."
King of the Hill
"When they find our lettermen jackets in the car, those guys take the heat."
King of the Hill
"Now, we're gonna need three dead guys."
King of the Hill
"Why couldn't it have been me and Boomhauer..."
King of the Hill
"that did something horrible to you guys?"
King of the Hill
"Because Boomhauefls a saint."
King of the Hill
"Okay. I've got a plan that might actually work."
King of the Hill
"- Dale, we're gonna need your scuba gear. - Why?"
King of the Hill
"But it is there."
King of the Hill
"Maybe we should use Dale's scuba gear to pull the car out."
King of the Hill
"Piece of cake."
King of the Hill
"I found her right between my old lawnmower, and what I'm fairly certain..."
King of the Hill
"Another frogman must have switched the hook after I surfaced."
King of the Hill
"But why?"
King of the Hill
"Look at Boomhauefls car."
King of the Hill
"At least it won't be too hard to chop it up and bury it."
King of the Hill
"You can still see where Dale's says "Towel Manager.""
King of the Hill
"- Dad. - This is nice. Very nice."
King of the Hill
"He's blocking the draining equipment with a pile of debris."
King of the Hill
"He's fighting garbage with garbage. Good work, Hank."
King of the Hill
"or the soy eggs and soy-sage."
King of the Hill
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