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Clips from Scrubs - My Intern's Eyes (S05E05)

"Know what I've been doing?"
Scrubs
"Besides listening to my Alanis Morissette CD"
Scrubs
"to get pumped up to talk to you? Here."
Scrubs
"how you would take Mr. Kellerman's life into your hands"
Scrubs
"- without talking to him. - Well, I did talk to him."
Scrubs
"He did."
Scrubs
"Patients who stay low on the heart transplant list die waiting for one."
Scrubs
"This way, he moves up to the top. Come on!"
Scrubs
"and a lawyer on retainer for when you kill a prostitute."
Scrubs
"From now on, the buck stops with you."
Scrubs
"I know you have occasionally bent the rules in this dump"
Scrubs
"when the crap started raining, it was gonna fall on my head."
Scrubs
"is for you to go by the book. And I got news for you on that front:"
Scrubs
"By-the-book attendings kill us up here."
Scrubs
"I couldn't tell you about Kellerman 'cause I don't know"
Scrubs
"Thank you for giving me the opportunity to prove myself."
Scrubs
"Whatever happens to this poor guy is on you."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] The next morning was not good."
Scrubs
"Elliot had dropped by to help not talk to Turk"
Scrubs
"because my clothes were in the dryer."
Scrubs
"- J.D.? - Morning, friends!"
Scrubs
"- Are you wearing boxers? - Yes, I am, Carla,"
Scrubs
"because I know when Turk's sad, he likes me to come over in my boxers,"
Scrubs
"You can borrow."
Scrubs
"Actually, J.D.'s been living here secretly."
Scrubs
"- Turk, why? - Get those judgmental eyes off me!"
Scrubs
"J.D. Didn't want to, I begged."
Scrubs
"- J.D. Can do my voice. - Hey, it's getting good!"
Scrubs
"Well, thank you! I lost it."
Scrubs
"You three are ridiculous."
Scrubs
"I'm just here to grab a ride to work."
Scrubs
"At a hospital where you don't actually work! And you?"
Scrubs
"Now, I really don't love being den mother to you three..."
Scrubs
"It's like crack to me."
Scrubs
"I don't wanna get pregnant! Shoot."
Scrubs
"So you're going to the university for a transplant!"
Scrubs
"Who is responsible for not treating that man?"
Scrubs
"Well, I was going to treat him, but I lost my stethoscope, and that's..."
Scrubs
"He's my patient, Bob!"
Scrubs
"I'm responsible."
Scrubs
"Dr. Dorian, I have kept my mouth shut"
Scrubs
"about the recent sexual harassment complaints"
Scrubs
"because I don't think it's fair to punish a man for making small talk,"
Scrubs
"or, say, asking his secretary just once to dress up as a geisha girl"
Scrubs
"- and call him Kelso-san... - What?"
Scrubs
"... but I was thinking about what Carla said about moving on."
Scrubs
"And I wasn't the only one."
Scrubs
"Well, at least there's one attending around here I can count on."
Scrubs
"The hell with it, Bob. I don't work here! Have a good one."
Scrubs
"Look, we had sex 20 times in eight days,"
Scrubs
"- I just want a baby so badly. - Why?"
Scrubs
"What's it gonna be like having a baby?"
Scrubs
"Hey! Meet your volleyball team. They're terrible."
Scrubs
"Newbie! I heard your voice."
Scrubs
"- [Janitor] Excuse me. - [Screams]"
Scrubs
"... for all of us."
Scrubs
"Anyone want half a tofu-cheese sandwich?"
Scrubs
"- [J.D. Screams] - [Thud]"
Scrubs
"[Screams]"
Scrubs
"- Ha-ha! Classic! - [Intern chuckles]"
Scrubs
"you've somehow managed to become a member of a club that I belong to."
Scrubs
"Yes, we are."
Scrubs
"The women are men. The children are men. The men, of course, men!"
Scrubs
"Hold them very dear, because every time you drop the ball, man-wise,"
Scrubs
"You should be excited about meeting people over there."
Scrubs
"Other way, Keith!"
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, Mr. Larson, but I do not like the look of that leg."
Scrubs
"[Gunshot]"
Scrubs
"Hey, everybody? Great work today."
Scrubs
"Think she'll be mad?"
Scrubs
"Sir, I know where everything is."
Scrubs
"his diuretic in the first place! I'm forced to ask,"
Scrubs
"of returning to the scene of the crime. And all because I, too,"
Scrubs
"came back positive for the birth control pill."
Scrubs
"I was doing this and mouthing "I'll kill you,""
Scrubs
"[Panting]"
Scrubs
"Newbie, I did tell them to ignore you and let Mr. Kellerman get worse."
Scrubs
"over the last couple of years because you knew"
Scrubs
"- Is that true? - I didn't say that."
Scrubs
"Well, come back and see us, OK?"
Scrubs
"Me too!"
Scrubs
"You held on to it as long as you could."
Scrubs
"[Exhales]"
Scrubs
"Has anybody seen Johnny, the tackling Alzheimer's patient?"
Scrubs
"[Clattering]"
Scrubs
"Who am I?"
Scrubs
"- [knocking] ...until now."
Scrubs
"to seem nonchalant... No."
Scrubs
"- Born without lips. - I know a guy."
Scrubs
"Hey! You must be Keith."
Scrubs
"You're right!"
Scrubs
"[Cutting, tape being pulled]"
Scrubs
"[Coughs]"
Scrubs
"[Coffee brewing]"
Scrubs
"- Sorry." - Way too familiar."
Scrubs
"And you secretly moving back in here?"
Scrubs
"and I bet it's because you sensed my hesitance."
Scrubs
"Who's ready for some java?"
Scrubs
"Angie, my buddy down in the lab just told me that your urinalysis"
Scrubs
"# No, I know I'm no Superman"
Scrubs
"This explains a lot."
Scrubs
"Carla was not talking to Turk,"
Scrubs
"[Copy machine whirring]"
Scrubs
"Here you go, baby."
Scrubs
"I didn't care, because now that I'm an attending,"
Scrubs
"or to, say, being born without lips?"
Scrubs
"Listen, today if you bother me, could you do it without being around me?"
Scrubs
"so stay here until you find a place."
Scrubs
"[J.D. Groans] Turk! Turk!"
Scrubs
"Sparky, it's five dollars a minute to stare in public."
Scrubs
"- [Thud] - [Groans]"
Scrubs
"I don't need anyone's help."
Scrubs
"Stupid coffee robot! Frick!"
Scrubs
"I can see him."
Scrubs
"[Glass shatters]"
Scrubs
"Anything can happen."
Scrubs
"Thanks."
Scrubs
"Not exactly. That Fig Newton you're about to eat"
Scrubs
"- Boy, boy... - Boy, boy..."
Scrubs
"Good night, Keith."
Scrubs
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