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Clips from The Office - Gossip (S06E06)

"Okay. You can count on me."
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"Oh, that smells good."
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"Yeah, I might have extra. It just depends on how many I eat."
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"Did you hear about Angela? That's pretty weird."
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"Yeah. What do you mean exactly?"
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"Well, the fact that she apparently is dating an 81-year-old billionaire."
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"Owns a Quiznos on the turnpike."
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"Really? Uh-huh."
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"(EXCLAIMING) Right?"
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"How do you un-tell something? You can't."
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"You can't put words back in your mouth."
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"What you can do is spread false gossip,"
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"including "Stanley is having an affair.""
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"It's like the end of Spartacus. I've seen that movie half a dozen times,"
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"and I still don't know who the real Spartacus is."
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"And that is what makes that movie a classic whodunit."
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"She always eats my lunch."
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"We should do something."
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"Nothing can be done."
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"Just have to tell everybody and hope for the best, I guess."
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"I'm worried about Erin because she's not a very good worker."
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"Really? Yeah. So..."
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"And Andy is gay."
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"Andy Bernard? Mmm-hmm."
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"(WHISPERING) Really? Yeah."
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"She's going to hate being a mom."
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"(KEVIN CHUCKLING)"
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"What? Tea."
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"So? You would."
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"Yeah. I like it a lot. I love tea."
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"Do you like it as much as you like men's butts?"
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"What? Because you're gay."
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"Who told you that? Was it Broccoli Rob? Someone from Chi Psi?"
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"Or did you run into someone from my high school?"
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"This is not the first time rumors about me being gay have come up."
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"Just a weird coincidence. It's a little too weird."
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"Almost makes you wonder if it's not a coincidence at all. Whoa!"
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"Which it is, of course."
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"But it makes you wonder."
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"I did, yes."
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"And? What?"
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"Do you think it's true? Do you think that I'm gay?"
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"Are you attracted to other men?"
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"But let me kick you a scenario."
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"I'm at, like, a beach cabana and Brad Pitt approaches,"
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"I would definitely resist, like, at first, but if he was persistent,"
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"I might give in a little bit to just sort of see what it felt like."
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"Would I push him away? How hard? Like, what if he's, like, really aggressive?"
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"If you resisted Brad Pitt a little bit, he would still need to get to you?"
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"Or it's, like, not fantasy, it's, like, what I'm... It's just a scenario."
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"To comfort insecure heterosexual men?"
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"That can't possibly fall to me."
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"PHYLLIS: (SOFTLY) How far along is Pam?"
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"A few months. That's why they're rushing the wedding."
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"(SOFTLY) Guys, guys, guys, you can't believe everything you hear."
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"Like Stanley having an affair."
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"It's a weird day for false facts. Just let it go."
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"Who knows what to believe? Dwight, the honors."
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"Present these to the Dean for credit. And as a gift, I've attached my card."
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"Call me any time of the day or night."
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"Why would we call you at night?"
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"Well, now you can't call me at all, so problem solved."
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"You're going to regret that when you find yourself"
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"Look to the intern on your left. Now to your right."
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"One of you will do exceedingly well in business, just unlimited potential."
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"One of you will make a living and nothing more."
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"And one of you will make a great mother."
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"It's up to you to choose which you want to be."
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"I am so happy you're eating again."
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"Me, too."
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"Tuna, how come you never try to set me up?"
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"I don't really do that. But Pam might have some friends, though."
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"Women friends? Yeah."
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"Okay. But off the record, I'm kind of confused."
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"Really?"
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"Well, you've got to figure this out. Yeah, right?"
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"Yeah. How?"
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"You've got to have sex with a woman."
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"Righto."
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"And then a man. And then compare."
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"Oh!"
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"Congratulations to you. On what?"
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"(CHUCKLES) Come on."
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"Little baby Tuna. Little junior Toro."
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"You know, a baby conceived out of wedlock is still a bastard."
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"What?"
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"Want me to say it again?"
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"Why did that come into your brain?"
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"Can I talk to you for a second?"
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"So, they know."
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"Who did you tell? I didn't tell anyone. Who did you tell?"
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"Nobody."
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"Hey, did one of you tell Stanley that I have asthma? Because I don't."
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"If it gets out they won't let me scuba."
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"If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about?"
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"What am I working toward?"
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"What? You think I'm the voice of the Taco Bell dog?"
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"What are you guys talking about? I have a daughter. How could I be a virgin?"
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"Hey, has everyone heard a crazy rumor about themselves today?"
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"ALL: Yes."
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"Yeah, yeah! You know what, let's discredit these rumors."
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"Yeah, sure, but who's been saying all that stuff?"
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"It's not important, Jim. I just think we shouldn't listen to any of this crap."
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"Sure, but we should get to the bottom of this."
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"Let's pick a rumor and trace it back to the beginning."
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"I need to do mine first."
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"working me with controls?"
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"I heard that from Andy."
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"I heard it from Erin."
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"KEVIN: What?"
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"PAM: Michael?"
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"He's over here."
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"You told people that I use store-bought manure,"
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"when I showed you where my manure comes from."
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"Don't get on it. Michael, don't."
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"PAM: Don't get on. Do not. KEVIN: Michael, no."
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"Michael. Stay, Michael."
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"Step away. Stay."
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"ANDY: Come on, boss. PHYLLIS: No. No."
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"Okay, I made it all up. KELLY: What?"
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