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Clips from The Office - Gossip (S06E06)

"Ever since Michael's Monica Lewinsky incident."
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"He didn't do anything sexual."
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"It was just easier for corporate to shut down the program."
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"Think she did him? I bet there's something there."
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"I was with them in the kitchen yesterday,"
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"and they were all too happy to be cleaning the freezer."
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"If they get married before I do, I'm going to kill myself."
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"Who's getting married? Nobody."
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"If somebody doesn't tell me, I'm gonna start screaming."
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"It's Eric and Megan. Oh!"
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"Hey, I hired them."
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"Matchmaker."
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"This place is like Spaniard fly."
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"They're not getting married. It's just talk."
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"Did everybody know about this but me?"
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"There's nothing to know. It's just gossip."
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"We haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant."
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"The yakety-yaks in this office would have a field day."
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"Jim's being marched down the aisle by my dad with a shotgun."
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"Wait, there's not going to be a shotgun?"
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"Nope."
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"No shotgun? Because that changes everything."
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"Can't back out now, Halpert."
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"What are you going to do about it? There's no shotgun, so,"
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"free at last, free at last."
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"Okay. Let me finish this thought."
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"Eric likes Megan."
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"He most definitely does."
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"He's been asking her out repeatedly for weeks."
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"She finally said yes. They went out on a group date the other night."
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"Apparently it went very well."
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"How do you know this? People tell me things."
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"I think it's because of my low cheek bones."
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"And boom. Okay, what is it? What can't I guess?"
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"I hate, hate, hate being left out."
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"Whether it's not being picked for a team or being picked for a team"
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"and then showing up and realizing that the team doesn't exist,"
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"or that the sport doesn't exist."
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"I should have known. Poopball?"
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"Oh, man, I know how you feel. Third wheel."
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"I have been the third wheel so many times in my life."
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"My mom told me something once that made me feel a lot better."
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"I am talking about your group date with Megan and Eric."
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"At Tinks? Yes."
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"How'd you know about that? Well..."
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"Did Stanley tell you?"
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"Stanley was on your group date?"
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"No. Stanley was with his wife."
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"I waved at him but he didn't wave back."
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"(CHUCKLES)"
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"(CHUCKLES)"
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"There he goes. There he goes."
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"So, what is the scuttlebutt? Anybody hear anything?"
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"Nothing? I got a little something-something."
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"So just keep it to yourself, then."
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"Stanley is having a midlife crisis."
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"especially considering his height-to-weight ratio."
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"were out dancing at a club for young people."
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"Who? Stanley's wife, Teri."
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"You stupid son of a bitch. You set me up."
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"Stanley's wife is out of town."
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"He was with somebody."
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"Oh! Was he? Well, who? His sister?"
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"(LAUGHS)"
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"I don't get it!"
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"If that was his sister, then what they were doing was totally illegal."
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"Drugs?"
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"Making out."
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"Okay."
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"Okay. No, it's okay."
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"Never mind. Carry on."
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"(WHISPERING) Stanley is having an affair."
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"(INAUDIBLE)"
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"MICHAEL: I am very happy right now, thrilled perhaps, to be a part of the office,"
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"to be a part of the conversation."
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"When you have somebody's attention, and their eyes are lighting up"
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"because they are very interested in what you have to say,"
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"that is a great feeling."
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"And I experienced that firsthand today."
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"It is wonderful to be the center of attention."
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"MICHAEL: That and that are the same letter."
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"Okay. He's holding a pencil."
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"He could be doing a crossword puzzle with that pencil."
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"What haven't you guessed? T."
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"T! Yes! Yes! That is a T."
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"And there's another one right there. Just sound that out. You're almost there."
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"Hey, Stanley, where are you going, big guy? Up to no good?"
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"I'm meeting a client. Do you have a problem with that?"
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"No, no, no, no, no. I just had a quick question for you."
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"I'm casting a movie and I'm looking for a woman who can dance, beautiful woman."
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"Do you know anybody?"
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"Pays 5 million dollars. Nudity required."
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"(WHISPERING) Did you hear that Stanley's having an affair?"
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"(WHISPERING) I did. From you. You got to stop telling people."
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"Okay. I get it. You feel out of the loop and you feel sorry for yourself,"
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"and it's really sad because everybody thinks you're a loser."
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"Do you even know if it's true? Do you have any idea?"
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"Because you might be ruining his life."
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"Hold up! Hold up! Hold up! No, no, no, no!"
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"(HONKING)"
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"It's time to stop being polite and get real!"
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"Stanley, you having an affair?"
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"That is ridiculous. Of course not. Why would you think that?"
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"So it's not true. Okay. Well..."
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"(SIGHING) Oh!"
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"Those interns, they told me they saw you at the club,"
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"and they all said it was you."
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"It was clearly just racial profiling gossip. The little..."
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"Damn! I told her it was a stupid idea..."
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"It's so stupid. ...to go up in that club."
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"Cynthia's been keeping me company."
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"She was my nurse when I was in rehabilitation."
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"We used to go on these long walks on the treadmill."
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"I didn't intend..."
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"Yeah, but Michael, I'm going to go break it off."
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"That's where I'm headed right now. I swear."
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"Because that's not cool."
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"Michael, please."
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"I'm not saying a damn thing."
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"I'm counting on you, Michael."
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