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Clips from Man Seeking Woman - Dram (S01E01)

"This..."
Man Seeking Woman
"Hey, what? I-I can do both those."
Man Seeking Woman
"When Josh was dating Maggie, he ate regular meals"
Man Seeking Woman
"But since she dumped him, his condition has"
Man Seeking Woman
"But you can make a difference."
Man Seeking Woman
"Make no mistake, dating my brother would be"
Man Seeking Woman
"Did you shit yourself, Josh?"
Man Seeking Woman
"- You shit in your pants. - helping."
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"I don't know that I want a girlfriend, okay?"
Man Seeking Woman
"Before it's too late."
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"- Something like that. - Yeah."
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"- Gonna turn around. - Kiss me."
Man Seeking Woman
"I-I... Like, I-I can't help but feel"
Man Seeking Woman
"like I'm the only single person here tonight."
Man Seeking Woman
"Thank you, thank you."
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"(overlapping intrusive questioning)"
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"in the living room to get some"
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"Of course."
Man Seeking Woman
"to help me with the-the-the-the..."
Man Seeking Woman
"What are the odds that they both like salad?"
Man Seeking Woman
"- I knew it. - Oh, my God."
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"Oh, they look so good together, they look so good."
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"Gravy!"
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"(shouting)"
Man Seeking Woman
"- Couple up. - Couple up."
Man Seeking Woman
"(shouting)"
Man Seeking Woman
"Goddamn it. Damn it."
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"Yeah, well, that-that... Welcome to my life."
Man Seeking Woman
"So..."
Man Seeking Woman
"(chuckles)"
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"- Aw... - Aw..."
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"- Not a big deal? - No."
Man Seeking Woman
"My son's new girlfriend"
Man Seeking Woman
"- to talk about it. - Okay, I get it."
Man Seeking Woman
"- Mom's always the last to know. - There's nothing to know."
Man Seeking Woman
"(distorted): chemically, uh, kind of..."
Man Seeking Woman
"Huh?"
Man Seeking Woman
"PATTI: Mom's always the last to know."
Man Seeking Woman
"Who's there?"
Man Seeking Woman
"the easy way."
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"So now"
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"really nothing to tell."
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"You don't want to find out"
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"Is that true?"
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"(shouting)"
Man Seeking Woman
"(static)"
Man Seeking Woman
"Hi, Josh!"
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"You still have that thing?"
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"just dropping in like this."
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"- Mom's lentil soup. - Ugh!"
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"Oh, she's a doll!"
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"(sobbing): I don't know."
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"Don't do it, please."
Man Seeking Woman
"Leo proposed to Liz!"
Man Seeking Woman
"Don't listen to him."
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"- (chuckles) - No..."
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"- Oh, God, she's got the look. - Wedding."
Man Seeking Woman
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow..."
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"(Liz screams in distance)"
Man Seeking Woman
"So your mother tells me you've got a new lady friend."
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"Yeah, I-I don't really want to talk about it that much, so..."
Man Seeking Woman
"a bunch of mushrooms and go to the zoo?"
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"After that, Maude and I"
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"split off from the herd, go to an improv show,"
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"You know the difference"
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"Because that lettuce stuff was so funny."
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"- Yeah? - I-I, uh... I don't..."
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"and her boyfriend/fiancé"
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"and I don't want to brag"
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"- Are you and her a couple? - No,"
Man Seeking Woman
"Have you used any of these terms:"
Man Seeking Woman
"Thanks for this."
Man Seeking Woman
"(phone buzzing)"
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"MAUDE: Josh, are you in there?"
Man Seeking Woman
"or a visor, so I got both."
Man Seeking Woman
"- Man... - Yeah."
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"(gasps)"
Man Seeking Woman
"- After they bury you, I'll dig you up. - This was a very,"
Man Seeking Woman
"- waking up in a coffin? - Hey, just stay the course, bro."
Man Seeking Woman
"Oh, my God..."
Man Seeking Woman
"What can I say about Josh?"
Man Seeking Woman
"or interesting..."
Man Seeking Woman
"or cool."
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"A gentleman"
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"Uh..."
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"Oh, man."
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"Aah!"
Man Seeking Woman
"(screams)"
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"It's, uh..."
Man Seeking Woman
"we should go camping this weekend."
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"Um... it's..."
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"I just don't think"
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"we're right for each other."
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"I-I don't know."
Man Seeking Woman
"So, uh, dude,"
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"Oh. Good."
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"Goddamn it."
Man Seeking Woman
"Have you ever seen a more heartbreaking sight?"
Man Seeking Woman
"A grown man living"
Man Seeking Woman
"in abject squalor."
Man Seeking Woman
"this is my brother Josh."
Man Seeking Woman
"He subsists on a diet of ramen, weed,"
Man Seeking Woman
"and frozen chimichangas."
Man Seeking Woman
"He's been wearing the same pair of pants for a decade. He has"
Man Seeking Woman
"no education and can barely read or write."
Man Seeking Woman
"and washed his private parts."
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"steadily declined."
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"Right now things are bleak."
Man Seeking Woman
"Please call his number today and date my brother."
Man Seeking Woman
"a true act of charity."
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"He smells like shit."
Man Seeking Woman
"Like, I think he literally might have shit himself."
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"No. Would you just mind your own business?"
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"I didn't... Who invited you here anyway?"
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"I'm-I'm running shit."
Man Seeking Woman
"- Did you shit yourself? - Would you just mind your own business?"
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"- You did, didn't you? - Stop..."
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"Please help. There's no one on Earth more desperately"
Man Seeking Woman
"- in need of a girlfriend. - Liz, I told you,"
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"I'm kind of happy just being..."
Man Seeking Woman
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