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Clips from The Office - Business School (S03E03)

"Poop."
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"JIM: Okay, thanks."
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"Animal Control will be here at 6:00."
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"At 6:00? No, that is unacceptable."
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"Okay, Jim. You are the number two in this office."
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"I'm sorry, what'd you say?"
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"So weird. What? What's so weird?"
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"The bat... I mean, I know I felt it bite me, but look, there's no mark."
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"so strangely powerful."
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"Oh, well."
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"I present the regional manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton, Michael Scott."
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"Hello, everyone, I am Michael Scott..."
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"And I'd like to start today by inspiring you."
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"May I borrow someone's textbook, please?"
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"Thank you."
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"You cannot learn from books."
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"Replace these pages with life lessons,"
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"that is worth its weight in gold."
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"I know, those are expensive, but the lesson is priceless."
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"Good."
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"There are four kinds of business,"
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"And air travel."
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"JIM: Ow!"
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"That bread on your desk. I just picked it up. It's white hot."
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"No, it burned me, I..."
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"No."
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"No. One crisis at a time."
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"It would make sense for it to come to a "Sylvania," like Pennsylvania."
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"Only that he carries the vampiric germ."
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"So, you want to start a business. How do you start?"
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"And secondly, you need supply, you need something to sell."
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"Now, this could be anything."
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"or a Whatchamacallit."
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"Now, you need to sell those in order to have a PayDay."
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"And if you sell enough of them,"
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"Satisfied?"
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"Damn it!"
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"You know, one of the other parents will probably videotape it."
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"So... Oh, no, you should go."
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"Well, it's important to support local art."
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"You know? And what they do is not art."
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"Let me slow down a little bit, break this down."
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"Okay."
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"The more stickers you sell, the more profit,"
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"fancy word for money,"
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"you have to buy PlayStations and Beanie Babies..."
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"Michael... ...and products!"
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"Yeah, I know. All right, okay."
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"Sir, as a company that primarily distributes paper,"
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"how have you adapted your business model to function"
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"in an increasingly paperless world?"
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"We can't overestimate the value of computers."
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"Yes, they are great for playing games and forwarding funny e-mails,"
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"but real business is done on paper, okay?"
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"Hey, Jim, here's the aspirin you wanted."
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"The glare off Angela's crucifix. It's blinding."
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"I don't have a lot of experience with vampires,"
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"but I have hunted werewolves."
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"I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog."
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"Extraordinary events call for extraordinary actions."
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"...to use sudden violence? Okay."
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"What size?"
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"for the convenience and savings of a nationwide chain?"
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"I say, "You will miss our service"
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"We don't want them back. They're stupid."
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"What? Thanks, Kowalski."
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"By your own employee's calculation,"
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"Wait. Ryan said that?"
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"What are you doing?"
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"You better not hurt that little bat. Animals can't feel pain."
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"Don't hurt that bat, Creed!"
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"It's a living thing with feelings and a family!"
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"Bat! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!"
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"I am a hero."
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"Yeah, sure. You know business."
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"Sitting up here in your ivory tower and your ebony tower."
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"But how can you compete against a company"
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"with the resources of a nationwide chain?"
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"But there's five Goliaths."
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"There's Staples, OfficeMax... Yeah, yeah."
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"You know what else is facing five Goliaths?"
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"America. Al-Qaeda."
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"Global warming. Sex predators."
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"Mercury poisoning."
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"Is that what we're learning in business school?"
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"But in the big picture, you have... Dunder Mifflin is the big picture!"
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"Can't you understand that? No, you can't, you're too young."
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"Ryan has never made a sale."
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"And everybody thinks he's a tease. Well, you know what?"
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"It wasn't personal. Business is always personal."
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"It's the most personal thing in the world."
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"When we get back to the office, pack your things."
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"Pack my... You heard me. Pack your things."
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"I really want to come out! Good night, Mary Beth!"
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"So, you're cool to just wait here for Animal Control?"
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"I've been controlling animals since I was six."
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"Cool. Okay."
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"There's just so much sun in here."
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"Goodbye, Jim."
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"And good luck."
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"Jim is on a path now,"
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"an eternal journey, and I wish him well."
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"But I have a destiny in this realm."
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"Specifically, in the kitchen."
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"And it's all from the same series."
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"Called Impressions."
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"Not that I would call myself an impressionist per se."
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"I still need, you know, my breakthrough or whatever."
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"Hey, babe. ROY: Hey!"
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"How are you? Good."
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"Hey, Pam. Hey."
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"I show up with my brother and no one from work is here."
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"(DWIGHT BREATHING HEAVILY)"
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"Magic time."
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"Get it off me! Get off me! Hold still, woman!"
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"Get it off! I got it! I got it!"
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"Get it off!"
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"ROY: It's cool if I go, right? I mean, I looked at all of them."
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"Maybe. I'm a little tired."
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"Your art was the prettiest art of all the art."
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