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Clips from 2 Broke Girls - And the No New Friends (S05E05)

"Look around."
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"since my mom peed on the floor at Wal-Mart."
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"Everyone gather 'round."
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"Let's have some mutual eye contact."
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"Bitch, that door is locked."
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"Nicely done."
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"All right, everyone."
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"I'd like us to recite our mantra."
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"My best is my best,"
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"and that's why I'm blessed."
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"Don't mumble, Connie."
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"and that's why I'm blessed."
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"My best is my best,"
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"cleansing you from head to toe"
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"and everywhere in-between."
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"Everyone, close your eyes and quiet the mind,"
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"When you feel called to join the bowls,"
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"I usually begin with a soft hummer."
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"get out of this?"
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"Let's just call it what it is:"
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"until I see what's in those bowls."
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"I'm hoping for fettuccini."
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"I hope it's not fettuccini"
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"This is important for Lady Marmalade."
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"All right, everyone."
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"You may gently bring your energy"
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"whenever you feel ready."
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"What are we gonna do? We're in the middle of nowhere."
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"You know what would save the day right now?"
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"Boober."
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"- Caroline. - Hmm?"
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"Did anything come up for you during the sound bath?"
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"A little bit of the chicken satay, but all good."
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"Were you touched at all?"
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"In high school, I was touched by an angel."
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"Well, technically, his name was..."
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"Oh-ho."
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"I know this probably all seems like a lot of hooey,"
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"but I assure you you'll wake up feeling refreshed."
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"He uses ricotta."
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"We're staying."
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"I mean, ricotta? We gotta."
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"Goodnight, everyone."
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"Rachel has your room assignments."
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"Caroline, you're sharing a room with me."
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"Max, you're sharing a room with Topher and Lady Marmalade."
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"Can I ever get a good roommate?"
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"Before the night is over, each of you will have a chance"
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"Well, I'm guessing her moon's not waxed."
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"Caroline, where are you?"
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"Caroline?"
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"I thought you were gonna be Elaine..."
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"and I'm not drunk enough for that!"
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"but you can't always get what you want."
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"Max!"
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"Max, oh, my God. Are you okay?"
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"I could never live with myself."
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"I'm sorry it took me so long to climax."
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"I know I was almost there for quite some time."
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"Max, Caroline, what are you doing out here?"
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"We were just anxiously awaiting"
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"intercourse with you."
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"Really?"
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"'Cause unless that bag's full of marital aids,"
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"Look, Elaine,"
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"but you can't be the first person"
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"but before you go, why don't we discuss this as a group"
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"All right, Eugene, stay where you are."
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"You need some rest."
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"Maybe a little protein."
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"So you know what? We're just gonna go."
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"You can tell that guy at the door"
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"he can just step aside so we can, you know,"
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"start running."
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"So we can go right now?"
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"No."
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"bring Max over by the gong."
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"Siri, remind me to patent a gong bong."
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"Also remind me to get a phone with Siri."
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"But it's come to my attention"
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"- What? - Who?"
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"Quick Q on the N.N."
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"Negative Nancy was already trademarked"
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"Caroline, do you have any idea who this N.N. could be?"
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"Caroline, are you where you want to be in life?"
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"And would you say there's someone holding you back?"
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"makes me feel a little "less than.""
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"Caroline, is there someone in this room"
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"whose Negative Nelly-ness"
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"is blocking you in ways you don't even realize?"
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"I'm starting to think this is about me."
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"Just having spent a few short hours with Max"
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"and recording all your conversations..."
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"It's pretty clear"
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"that she is undermining your path to success"
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"with her wisecracks and wordplay."
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"Look."
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"Max might seem negative, because she is,"
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"but you would be, too, if you were her."
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"She's been neglected, rejected, knocked down, and spat on."
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"See?"
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"So you will give up all these potential connections"
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"just for her?"
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"Caroline, I used to live in Jersey City,"
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"and now I live in a better part of New Jersey."
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"Elaine, I thought I needed to make new friends,"
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"and that's how I wound up here,"
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"I'll take my chances with her."
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"Well, then you're free to go."
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"Do you accept nature's credit card?"
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"I can't believe the only way I can make a friend"
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"anymore."
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"Not unless one of us gets really, really,"
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"'Cause that would kill me."
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"Look, yes, Becky and I worked together,"
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"even if this guy has a hook for a hand."
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"Wazzup?"
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"I never thought I'd be happy to see Oleg"
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"on a dark road at night."
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"Oh, well, Max texted me her location."
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