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Clips from Haters Back Off! - Rod Trip with My Uncle (S01E01)

"And she needs a roadie."
Haters Back Off!
"I gotta warn you. It's, uh, long hours and no pay."
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"You'll be crammed into a small dressing room with Miranda,"
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"[stuttering] You don't need to talk me into it anymore, because..."
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"[takes deep breath] I'm your roadie."
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"Okay, we can start by taking this paint and decorating the tour bus."
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"It's the one parked in the driveway."
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"- I'm thinking of something tasteful... - Uh, say no more."
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"I've sketched this out a dozen times already."
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"Oh! [stammering] Uh, hello."
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"you'll wanna book it immediately. It's my..."
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"It's my niece, Miranda."
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"She's been on YouTube..."
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"Hello?"
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"Oh, they are going fantastic."
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"He is such a great guy."
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"Do you know he does hospice ministry?"
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"Can you imagine being around all that pain"
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"all day and all night?"
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"- [sighs] - Yeah, I have a general idea."
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"need me to get that down for you..."
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"Okay."
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"- Like, if I'm making a big beef stew... - Mmm-hmm."
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"- ...I'll know who to call. - [chuckles] You do."
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"I do. [chuckles]"
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"Uh, Mom?"
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"- Huh? - Might wanna tone it down"
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"I don't know what you're talking about."
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"Okay, he seems like a really nice guy,"
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"and you have him doing all these chores just because he thinks you're sick."
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"What?"
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"No, I am not."
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"I mean, he... he just likes taking care of me."
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"but I threw in a few of my things in the wash."
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"there goes the last of my childhood innocence."
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"What?"
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"[door opens and closes]"
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"Well, this is interesting."
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"Oh, it is?"
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"Because you are sitting in it."
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"I don't like your attitude."
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"[yells] Bethany!"
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"- Really? - Yep. Is it in the wash or where is it?"
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"Well, I'm sorry, but the machine has been in use all day."
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"Great, Bethany. I am supposed to go on a big road trip."
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"I have my manager outfit all picked out,"
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"So, I guess we're gonna have to cancel the gig that I definitely booked."
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"The trip is canceled."
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"Well, I can take her."
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"I've got plenty of fresh underwear. [chuckles]"
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"Oh, yeah?"
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"Miranda, we're going!"
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"[all] Three, two..."
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"one."
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"[Patrick] Blast off!"
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"[chuckles]"
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"That's perfect."
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"[Miranda] It's pretty good."
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"- Yeah. - I probably could've done better."
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"Is that permanent paint?"
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"What do you care, Mom?"
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"I'm going on tour and you're never gonna see me or the van again."
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"we don't have to leave for another, uh,"
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"two, three, four hours or so. So..."
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"No. No, we have to leave now. I have to do sound check,"
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"a dress rehearsal, costume fittings, makeup, all these kinds of things."
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"Well, we can't leave. We have that whole list of props we need to get."
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"What? How? You got the entire list?"
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"Yep, with the tag protector still on."
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"- Oh. Good work. - [Jim sighs]"
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"Okay, well, um..."
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"I guess there's no reason..."
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"for us to stay here and not go."
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"So..."
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"So, goodbye, Mom!"
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"I won't even miss you."
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"- Let 'em go have their fun. - [van door closes]"
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"- [engine starting] - She'll be back."
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"Well, now how am I supposed to get to work?"
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"How big is the theater?"
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"Uh, big. Uh, yeah, yeah, it's, uh, gigantic."
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"But if it seems small, it's 'cause it's... it's intimate, you know."
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"So it may seem small to you, so..."
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"It's one of those theaters that can go any way, really, you know. [chuckles]"
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"How much am I getting paid?"
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"Miranda, Miranda, okay, just... No more questions."
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"- What the heck is that? - It's a list of demands"
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"Thank you very much."
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"We should, uh, pull over and stop a while and get gas."
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"and it looks like we have enough gas."
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"about things that you know nothing about."
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"S-A-L-A-M-N-I."
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"Salami."
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"Fill her up, Patrick!"
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"Hello! Oh, thank God you finally picked up."
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"featuring a well-known YouTube sensation,"
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"Uh, this is Broadway Book, Inc. Like, "incorporated.""
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"Incorporated?"
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"Are you okay, man?"
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"It sounded like you were crying in your last message."
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"Okay, can she just... Can she just sing at your bookstore,"
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"like, while people are buying books? Is that..."
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"is that something that we can do? We could work out between us..."
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"Oh... [stammers] You tell that tech guy"
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"that if he can't handle those lighting cues that I sent over,"
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"well, then he should find himself another job."
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"You tell him that. Yep. [chuckles]"
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"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I yelled at you, sir."
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"I'm sorry."
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"I respect that answer. [sniffles]"
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"[exclaims]"
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"[grunts]"
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"See this resemblance there?"
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"[grunting]"
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"What're you doing?"
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"[Miranda clears throat] Welcome, everyone, to my show."
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"Sorry, I was thinking, you should probably come up with, uh, a stage name."
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"Oh yeah, he... he's right."
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"You should take your time and come up with a stage name, you know."
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"- Uh, everyone in the business uses one. - Yeah, I didn't even think about that."
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