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Clips from Haters Back Off! - Rod Trip with My Uncle (S01E01)

"[Miranda screams]"
Haters Back Off!
"my little basket of fish and loaves..."
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"What? No, we're not a train wreck."
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"[Keith] Bethany?"
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"you know it's true."
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"I do need you."
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"- [crowd laughing] - But, I mean, clearly they need me more."
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"What?"
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"[Miranda] Patrick, stop encouraging this..."
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"Don't clap for them, you guys. We did not rehearse any of this."
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"♪ Jazz ♪"
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"[crowd applauding]"
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"- Stop. Thank you. - [crowd cheering]"
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"Oh, Miranda? Miranda?"
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"[glass shattering]"
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"[sighs]"
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"[theme music playing]"
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"[Miranda] How do you get this thing in here?"
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"No, I'm trying to do it."
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"[Jim] We can do it together. It's a camera. It's very expensive."
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"I think I got it. Did it. Okay."
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"[softly] Okay."
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"And three, two, one. Action."
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"Hey, guys. It's me, Miranda."
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"So, I've decided I'm gonna start singing some of the many requests that I get."
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"I haven't gotten any yet, so I'm just gonna request a song for myself."
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"[sighs] Oh."
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"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. [chuckles nervously]"
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"What are you doing in my house?"
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"You are not welcome here!"
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"So take your little laundry basket and get out!"
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"Okay, Keith. What's going on?"
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"Mom, I swear if you do not get him out of this house right now..."
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"Yes. Yes, you're right. Yeah, you should go."
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"But you don't want me to."
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"Yeah, I don't want him to."
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"- What? - Oh, no! He's gonna..."
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"He's my friend..."
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"[all yelling]"
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"I'm calling a family meeting."
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"Oh, no, no, no. You can't call a family meeting."
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"I can call a family meeting."
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"As a matter of fact, I think it's time we had a family meeting."
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"First order of business in the family meeting..."
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"So, the floor is yours."
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"Let's begin."
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"I already began it, but go ahead."
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"Your mother and I..."
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"I can't hide these feelings inside any longer. Listen."
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"have been dating secretly ever since the funeral."
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"[yells] What?"
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"[stammers] Okay, Miranda, I can explain. We're not really dating."
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"You are not allowed in this house or in my mother!"
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"[Keith] I know."
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"Doing the laundry. You know, it's my way of apologizing to you,"
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"showing my love to Bethany."
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"Getting to know Emily."
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"And what about me?"
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"Won't be doing your laundry."
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"Well, this is ridiculous!"
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"You know what, Keith? I don't accept your apology."
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"- How about that? - Good."
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"[sighs] You know, Miranda, I really think you're gonna grow to like me."
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"If you just give me a chance."
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"Give you a chance?"
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"[softly] Yeah."
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"then you manipulate with my mother."
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"After that, you barge in my room"
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"and you interrupt my private video time with my uncle."
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"And to top it all off, you tried to steal my perfectly good, dirty clothes."
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"Like the Lord said to Noah after he built the ark..."
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""You're gonna regret this.""
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"Ooh, Bible burn."
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"In your face."
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"But you know what?"
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"I've been thinking about that whole choir thing,"
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"and I wanna make it up to you"
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"Oh no, no, no, no, no. We are not interested."
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"Ever thought about performing live?"
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"Well, how about the Thea Foss Theatre?"
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"[scoffs] That place is impossible to book."
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"I've tried."
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"[whispers] I know a guy."
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"I'm already, uh, trying to get Miranda several other very important gigs."
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"[Keith] Hmm."
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"- The Thea Foss Theatre. - [Keith] And I can call him..."
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"right now."
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"Miranda, you don't need that,"
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"Really? Where?"
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"Uh... [clears throat]"
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"At a very reputable theater..."
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"in the Big Attle."
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"- The Big Apple? - New York?"
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"The Big Attle. Seattle?"
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"Seattle?"
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"Wow, this is gonna be amazing for my career."
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"Why didn't you tell me about it sooner?"
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"Well, I, uh... [smacks lips]"
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"I wanted it to be a surprise."
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"Oh, a surprise?"
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"I love it. Do you have any more surprises?"
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"Uh... like a tour bus."
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"[Miranda] What else?"
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"- Uh, else? Uh, a... a roadie. - What else?"
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"- Uh, jeez. [stuttering] Snacks. - [gasps] Ooh, snacks!"
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"- I love snacks! - Okay."
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"[theme music playing]"
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"[sighs]"
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"Operator, get me your most reputable theater in Seattle."
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"Yes, I'll hold."
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"I got that paint you asked for."
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"Perfect. Um, Patrick, I have a business opportunity,"
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"which I think you'd be perfect for."
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"Okay. Uh, well, I'm about to get really busy with the ice cream bike."
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"- I'll see a big influx in the sales... - [sighs]"
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"Okay."
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"Now, Patrick, what I am about to tell you"
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"is for your eyes only."
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"Miranda is about to start her world tour."
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"- The Big Attle. - Yep."
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