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Clips from Arrested Development - Prison Break-In (S03E03)

"- How do you know the warden? - Oh, right."
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"Uh, he spoke at my school for a "Startled Straight" assembly."
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"of using his prison as a location for a film."
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"GVH, "Graft Versus Host.""
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"It's new, it's fatal, and guess who's got it?"
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"You've heard of bodies rejecting transplants."
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"Well, in this case, your transplanted hair is rejecting your body."
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"Either you remove your hair graft..."
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"- Can you think of any benefits? - Benefits? No. He'll die."
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"Oh, oh, yeah. No, I... I get that. But have there ever been any fund-raisers?"
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"- You're making him keep the hair? - Did you see the attention Superman's wife got?"
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"in the video Gob's making for the gala."
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"Oh, yeah. It'll be very uplifting."
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"I can't feel anything. How's my hair?"
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"It's fine. It's sucking the life out of you, Tobias."
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"I mean, everything's gone crazy... the gala, Mom and Warden Gentles."
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"- Likes her what? - No, I... I mean, likes her, like, is attracted to her."
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"- Who's the "her" in that sentence? - Mom. Warden Gentles likes Mom."
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"And if he likes her in that sense, it makes it even worse."
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"Oh, Michael, you're just feeling neglected by your mother."
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"You wanted to go to this with her, didn't you?"
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"Only losers go to those things with their parents."
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"- I'm going with my son. - Oh, I may skip that. I don't like galas."
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"- Please don't call yourself that. - What he was having trouble with..."
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"I can't stand by and watch Mom get hurt. I gotta get down there."
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"This is heartbreaking. Gotta get this for the video."
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"George Michael, you wanna put your head down there by his drainage shunt?"
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"But at that very moment, his true father returned."
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"Well, you know me. I could never leave a little bud behind."
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"Oh, a hug. Nice. You haven't seen a little box with a turtle on it, have you?"
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"- He ate all the grass? - Yeah."
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"- It's been great catching up. - W-W-Wait, where you going?"
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"he's gonna try switching places again, and I can't go back to prison."
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"- If my father comes in, you can hide in one of Gob's tricks. - I can't."
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"- At least you can stay and help me bury my poor turtle. - Or we could cremate it."
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"And Maeby was having a harder time finishing Warden Gentle's screenplay than he did."
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"Oh, I'm actually gonna sit that out. I'm just burnt out on prisons lately."
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"- Well, this might change your mind. - Is that a screenplay?"
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"I've had to go to his parole hearings twice and lie through my teeth to keep him here."
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"Wow. What are you guys doing?"
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"It's perfectly innocent, but I can see how if our roles were reversed..."
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"I might have you beaten with a pillowcase full of batteries."
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"I don't know why I always assume that everyone's read my screenplay."
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"And that doesn't concern you, Mother? For all you know he could be trying to seduce you."
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"- Oh, Michael, you're crazy. - I certainly hope so."
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"I'm trying to seduce him."
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"- Who's the "I" in that sentence? - Me."
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"Michael had just discovered that his mother was interested in another man."
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"- Mom wants to sleep with the warden. - What? Oh, God!"
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"- Great. - Great? The man is old enough to be her contemporary, Lindsay."
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"- What is wrong with you? It's disgusting! God! - Take it easy."
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"No, it's just I've always had a thing about Mom and Dad being together."
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"- I know that. - I have a sense of propriety, my God."
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"You may not like it that Mom has needs..."
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"The guy looks just like Dad."
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"Who? What? What is natural? Is there new legislation on this now?"
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"George Michael was concerned about family love after reading Maeby's script..."
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"- which he took as a subtle message to him from his cousin. - Listen, new fish."
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"- We're going to... do things? - Anything can happen when two people share a cell, coz."
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"Um, I'll go... Okay, I'll go with you to the prison."
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"And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off."
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"Come on, Lindsay. What are we gonna do about Mother? - Honestly, Michael..."
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"in the family who would care about this."
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"Buster's gonna take this so hard. I cannot let my brother get hurt."
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"But Oscar was longing for his sweet freedom."
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"Oh, Dad, get in the cage and hide behind the mirror. It'll look empty."
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"he was knocked out by a powerful lid."
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"Hey, Buster, listen. I got some bad news about Mom."
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"- Oh. Then why do we care? - What is wrong with everyone?"
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"Uh, B-Buster, you've got to talk to Mom about this. She can't possibly do it."
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"- If Dad finds out, he'll go berserk. - If Dad finds out about what?"
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"Oh. Well, I guess I've got no choice now. Dad, I-I've got some bad news..."
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"Oh. Better sit down."
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"- They're dating. - Oh, yeah. Because she's... she's my wife."
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"- Oh, yeah. Damn it! - I'm surprised you're not more upset about this."
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"When you first told me, but you see, time... time passes."
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"Besides, it's only, uh, dinner in the office. I mean it's not Le Cirque."
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"- How'd you know that it was in his office? - Well, wh-where..."
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"It was around 4:00. You already know about this."
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"- Come on. - You're up to something, right?"
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"- You're makin' fake heads. You're planning an escape. - How dare you?"
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"I oughta shave your head and make you sit under that camera all night, mister."
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"It's unbelievable. You know, I was worried that this guy was gonna take advantage of Mom."
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"You both were taking advantage of him. I don't know why I work to keep this family together."
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"- And that's when George Sr. got a call from Lucille. - Three, two, two, five, two."
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"Howdy doody, that's it."
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"You know what? You can smuggle yourself out."
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"You wanna get away from me so bad? You're free."
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"I'm not goin'. The whole thing is a scam. Mom was using that warden to try to get Dad out."
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"- She's not trying to seduce him at all. - Oh, no. She is."
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"She's spending the night with him. She just called to ask me to bring her..."
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"a tube of "Vagis-table" paste. Hi, George Michael."
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"- You're goin' too, huh? - Yeah. I thought I would, um, just go with Maeby..."
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"But this, too, would prove challenging as the family had no books."
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"into the warden's true intentions with his mother."
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"You were just using me to get even with the man who broke out of your prison?"
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"That escape cost me my promotion."
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"But you gave me presents. We made love."
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"I've given you one last present. Enjoy the chlamydia, Lucille. Ha, ha, ha."
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"but his handmade replica would never fool the cameras."
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"So he searched through Gob's magic stuff to find something that might."
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"to get past the cops at the door."
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"- Go. - Mom's being set up. We have to get into that prison."
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"- It's after lockdown. - Come on, Gob. You were gonna break out of this place once."
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"- I know you can help me break in. - It's not a Jamba Juice, Michael."
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"And Buster returned only to find no evidence of his uncle-father."
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"Hey, Father-uncle Dad..."
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"I was just bringin' some juice for my pet."
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"I'm Oscar. He did it again."
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"- Hey! Let's get him! - But it was a freedom that didn't last long."
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"the guys arrived for their break-in..."
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"with the help of one of George Sr.'s instruments of escape."
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"- You think this is gonna work? - It's a jet pack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong?"
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"- All right. - Now just make sure you tell me before you hit any buttons..."
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"- Good. Now we know what the strap is for. - Okay."
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"- Under the crotch. Yup. - We need a new plan."
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"- Wish I knew the layout of this place. - Way ahead of you, Michael."
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"Drew a map of it on my stomach. It's upside down, so it might be a little awkward."
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"- It was awkward. - I drew us."
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"- If you're gonna party, you wanna bring it inside? - That was a freebie."
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