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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - The Shucker (S09E09)

"- Okay. Okay. - Okay?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Hey! Great news."
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"I've been so focused on my dick,"
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"- Oh! Wow, yeah. Hey. Great. - Yeah! Yeah!"
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"- I'm not surprised. - I told you, I said it was a sure thing."
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"Of course, I'm still invested."
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"- Oh, yeah! - Leon: Wow."
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"- Huh? What do you think? - Oh, yeah!"
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"- Wow. Fab. - You like it?"
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"He'll shoot you, then he'll stitch your ass up."
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"Oh, my God!"
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"She took the plant!"
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"- Fuck! - Mrs. Shapiro took the plant!"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- That's fucked up. - Oh, my God, that is insane!"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"but that's still a home invasion."
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"Yeah. No, I know what it is,"
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"- She's out of her mind. - She didn't have to steal."
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"A home invasion's a fucking home invasion, you know?"
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"That's a home invasion."
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"She came in your house without permission."
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"You-- you better get rid of the do-rag."
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"- She'll have a heart attack. - ( chuckles ) She'll be fine."
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"It's in the same family as a scarf, as a ascot, as a pocket square."
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"( stutters ) I don't like the optics."
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"She's gonna be fine. I promise you, man."
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"Fuck that. Knock on that shit aggressively."
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"The hell you give a fuck about-- this some bullshit."
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"Oh! What are you doing here? Two of you?"
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"- Hey! My plant. - Wait-- wait a minute."
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"- ( Leon scoffs ) - That's not your plant."
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"- Yeah. - That's my plant."
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"Oh, no, it's not your plant."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"You came to my house and you stole my plant. Come on."
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"I'm saving this plant."
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"Don't give us that green thumb shit."
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"- ( barks ) - Oh!"
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"See, my dog doesn't like you at all."
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"I'll tell you what. We're gonna take that dog or this plant."
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"Oh, no, you're not taking my dog."
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"- You're not touching my dog. - What? No, you're not taking the dog."
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"- Why not? - You think I want that dog in my house?"
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"- What are you, crazy? - Why not?"
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"- Who's gonna walk it? - We'll take turns."
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"I'm not taking turns."
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"I'm not walking the dog. You gonna pick up its shit?"
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"- I'll take care of it. - You'll take care of it?"
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""I'll take care of it." And they don't do a goddamn thing."
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"See, you guys can't even make up your minds"
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"what you're gonna do, so why don't you just leave?"
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"You know what? Let's take his hat."
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"No, take the whole goddamn head. Take the whole fucking head."
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"- The head? The whole head? - The whole goddamn head."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- You think I want that head in my house? - I don't want the fucking hat."
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"- The hat is dumb as hell. - I'm-- big shot, I'd rather have the hat than the head."
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"I'm not gonna take the head. I don't want that monstrosity in my house."
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"He's a lot better-looking than you."
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"- Oh, is that so? - Mm-hmm."
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"- I'm an Uber four, okay? - Well, Myron was an Uber five."
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"- ( barking, growling ) - ( scoffs ) He's not a five."
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"- Hey. - Let's get the fuck out of here."
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"Okay, you know what?"
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"- ( phone ringing ) - Hello?"
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"- Hi, Larry. It's Lin Miranda. - Oh, hey."
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"I'm sure you heard it from-- from Jeff already, but I'm in."
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"- That's great news. - I'm clearing my schedule."
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"It's gonna be you and me writing this thing toe to tip."
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"You know what, Lin, I think we're in pretty good shape."
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"You can get Lyme disease in there if you're not careful."
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"There's treasure in the weeds and we'll pick for ticks after."
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"The verses are gonna be satanic."
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"- Okay. - Well, the other piece of good news"
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"is that my wife, Vanessa, and her friend"
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"are gonna be at "Hamilton" the same night as you."
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"- Oh. - So, she'll be sitting right next to you at the show."
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"She's going?"
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"Yeah, she's using the other half of my house seats,"
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"And, I mean, she's gonna see you 'cause you're going."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Yeah, well, if she's going,"
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"she'll see me because I'm going."
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"Of course. The ticket's for you."
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"Yes, you got the ticket for me"
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"and as a result, I-- I will be there."
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"I'm really excited for you guys to meet."
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"Ah, Shucker."
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"No, I'll be right there. I'll be right there."
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"What's going on here?"
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"Oh, it's just a little party."
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"- How come I wasn't invited? - To the party?"
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"You just had dinner at my house."
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"Okay, so how come you're not inviting me?"
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"Where's the reciprocity?"
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"Well, I'm gonna reciprocate, but not this one."
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"You're gonna reciprocate? This was the opportunity to reciprocate."
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"Come to the party! I want you to come in and really warm it up."
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"I don't wanna go-- I don't wanna go to the party."
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"- Then what are you doing here? - What did you tell Ted about Tahoe?"
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"- Tahoe? - Because, um, he told me that you two were going to Tahoe."
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"- We are going to Tahoe. - And I said we had been there."
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"No offense to you,"
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"talking about what you and I did in hotel rooms."
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"I just don't understand why you're talking Tahoe to Ted."
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"Otherwise there'd be no reason for Ted to talk Tahoe."
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"- What did he say? - He-- he said you two were going."
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"That is mentioning a trip that's about to happen."
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"More shooting? Another job?"
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"When's it gonna end?"
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"Who's that? Is that the Shucker?"
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"Oh, yeah. That's the Shucker from your party."
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"I just wanna thank you for those "Hamilton" tickets."
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"I cannot wait. Over the moon."
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"Um, guess what. I got your hat."
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"Oh, thank God, because I've been sick without my hat."
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"- Where is it? - Yeah, it's-- it's in my car."
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"So, um, if you can get a little break,"
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"And, uh, I got another little thing I wanna talk to you about."
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"Ted is shooting a limited series in Vancouver."
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"I'm borrowing your Shucker for two minutes."
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"Ma'am."
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"Shucker: There it is."
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