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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - The Shucker (S09E09)

"Yeah, have a seat, guys."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"and a couple of ideas that I think are really gonna help us."
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"Leon: Come on, Larry. Spit that shit out."
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"If you're so goddamn worried about it,"
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"- If you nervous about your johnson... - ( knocking on door )"
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"- Back and forth. - You need a dick chiropractor."
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"- Dick chiropractor? There's dick chiropractors? - Yeah."
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"I'm taking these. I'm popping these."
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"- Lin-Manuel landed on my shoulder. - I remember."
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"I forgot to tell you the good news."
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"The good news is I talked to his agent."
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"Lin-Manuel Miranda is in."
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"- Yeah! Yeah! - Yeah, all right."
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"He's getting everything he wants. Why shouldn't he be in?"
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"I got Funkhouser invested. I got Lewis invested."
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"- I gotta check it out in the mirror. - Check it out."
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"Leon: He looks like a smart sheriff who's also a doctor."
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"She didn't put her old-ass foot on the door,"
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"but, I mean, she is-- you know, she's mental."
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"Black man showing up at her door with a do-rag?"
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"- Same fucking family. - I don't think"
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"that's in the scarf, ascot, pocket square family."
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"The same goddamn family. Are you kidding me?"
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"I'm letting it live and flourish."
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"- You were letting it die. - Oh, come on."
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"Bella will bite you on the ankles."
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"- I take the dog-- - What?"
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"Yeah, that's what 8-year-olds say when they wanna get a dog."
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"That's Myron, my dearly departed husband."
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"No, you're not taking his hat."
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"You haven't heard the last of me about this, all right?"
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"Don't go into people's homes and steal their plants."
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"- I'll see you in court. - The hell you will!"
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"We don't need to get into the weeds on this thing."
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"- The weeds are where the good stuff is. - Very dangerous in the weeds."
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"so you'll be right next to her."
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"and-- and I will use the ticket you got for me,"
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""Fatwa!" See you in the weeds, buddy."
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"( phone beeps )"
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"- Oh, hi. - ( music playing, chatter )"
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"Yeah, why wasn't I invited?"
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"I know. That was so nice and we had a great time."
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"- Now you have to go. - I wouldn't have come even if I was invited."
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"- Right. - And he said, "Yeah, I know," and he snickered, okay?"
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"Leading me to believe that you discussed it with him."
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"but Ted and I don't need to sit around"
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"- I wasn't talking Tahoe to Ted. - No, you did talk Tahoe to Ted."
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"- Is he here? - No, he's shooting."
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"Larry: Ah, I gotta talk to him."
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"- Hey, there he is. - Hey. Yeah."
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"- we can go take a walk, and I'll give it to you. - Sure, that'd be great."
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"- Oh, baby. ( chuckles ) - Oh, fuck.( groans )"
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"Well, what do you mean? That's-- that's like a-- that's like a bad horse trade."
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"- What are you talking about? - How are you gonna show up and sit-- sit there?"
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"- All right, I'll get you your tickets. - Yeah?"
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"Take it or leave it."
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"to his potential."
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"What's on?"
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""Chicago Teachers.""
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"They don't try to curse that much"
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"I mean, if we could do anything right now,"
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"- Uh... - What?"
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"- You know. - Tell me."
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"- That's a-- - That's it?"
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"That's about it, yeah."
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"That's your biggest fantasy?"
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"- Ooh! Oh! - ...that's pretty interesting."
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"- There you go. - ( chuckling )"
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"- It's fairly boilerplate. - There is no boilerplate, Larry."
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"It'll be great for our sex life."
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"This is a good-- good idea! Bridget! Bridget!"
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"Oh, the-- the kid you pretended has Asperger's?"
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"( sighs )"
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"for trespassing at his home and stealing his ficus plant."
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"The defendant is countersuing Mr. David"
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"Parties have been sworn in. You may be seated."
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"- came into the house. - Oh..."
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"She comes back another time, uninvited,"
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"uses her key, steals the plant."
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"This is Leon Black. He's-- he's my witness."
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"When I go to Florida, I turn a little darker, a shade darker."
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"Most of the time I carry myself in a mocha tone,"
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"while you're asking me the questions?"
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"Judge, yoo-hoo! Is this filtered?"
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"What are you putting unfiltered water-- tap water on the table for?"
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"that Mrs. Shapiro did the wrong thing,"
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"I can only say to you, sir,"
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"- This is-- what? - Good-bye."
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"- Oh, un-fucking-believable. - ...with its slack-jawed stare and..."
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"( chatter )"
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"Forget it, forget it."
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"- Hi. - Hey."
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"- Hello. - Vanessa."
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"- Nice to meet you. I'm Larry David. - Hi, Larry, yeah."
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"I'm right here. I'm sitting right next to you."
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"This is my friend, Joanna, from college."
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"I like oysters, but I don't shuck."
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"I know a shucker, but that doesn't mean"
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"- They're okay. - Yeah, okay."
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"- Oh, "Fatwa!" Come on! - Yeah."
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"This is gonna be a big thing, though."
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"and start rewriting."
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"Don't-- don't get into the weeds of the show."
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"nonsexual delving is what I'm saying."
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"Ay, gosh."
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"Shoulder. Killing me."
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"Wrestling with Lin in his agent's office."
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"Yeah, yeah."
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"( chuckles )"
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"I've got pain pills. My friend gave me pain pills."
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"Oh, you can keep it."
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"- ( music playing ) - ( applause, cheering )"
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"♪ How does a bastard, orphan ♪"
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"♪ Spot in the Caribbean by providence ♪"
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"♪ Impoverished, in squalor ♪"
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"- ♪ We'll be with you when you do ♪ - ♪ Go lead your men ♪"
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"- ♪ I'll see you on the other side... ♪ - ( snoring )"
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"♪ Hey, yo, I'm just like my country, I'm young, scrappy, and hungry ♪"
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"♪ Till the world turns upside down ♪"
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"♪ I imagine death so much, it feels more like a memory ♪"
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