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Clips from Gilligan's Island - They're Off and Running (S01E01)

"I'll be your first mate, we'll go--"
Gilligan's Island
"If I race Howell, I'll be betting your services."
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"Tell you what, Skipper."
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"I insist you bet my service as a houseboy."
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"You'll do it? You insist?"
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"Oh, little buddy, that's wonderful."
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"You've, uh, changed your mind?"
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"- I have. - You want to race me again?"
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"I do, Mr. Howell."
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"Still willing to bet Gilligan's services?"
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"I am, uh, that is, we are."
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"- Why? - Why not?"
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"Look, Captain, I didn't get into my present exalted position"
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"in the world of finance by accepting things at face value."
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"You think you have a chance of winning."
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"No secret, fact is we've knitted a pair of wings for my turtle"
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"and he's gonna fly through the air with greatest of ease."
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"Mr. Howell, turtles couldn't fly even if they did have wings."
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"Ginger, kindly pay attention."
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"Certainly not if the wings were knitted."
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"I think that Skipper's pulling your leg."
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"Never mind my leg, it's his sleeve I'm worried about."
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"He's got something up it."
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"Oh, and you want me to find out what it is."
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"Ha ha, you're right on the target, girl."
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"- From Gilligan, of course. - Bull's eye."
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"Don't back away, Gilligan. I just wanna talk to you."
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"I'm not, just that my-my back itches"
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"and I'm gonna scratch it on the tree."
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"You know, Gilligan, when I'm a famous movie star"
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"I'm gonna have my own yacht and you can be my captain."
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"A little lower."
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"And we'll sail away to magic ports of call, won't we?"
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"Yeah, a little, little bit to the left."
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"- How's that? - Oh, yeah."
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"Oh, I can't be your captain because I've got to be"
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"the first mate for-for the Skipper and his yacht."
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"Oh, you mean, the one Mr. Howell is bidding?"
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"Uh-huh, a little bit higher."
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"- Gilligan.. - Huh?"
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"Do you have a turtle that's faster than Mr. Howell's?"
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"I'm not allowed to tell anything about that."
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"Oh, you can tell me about it."
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"How's that? Is that the right spot?"
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"Yeah. That's it."
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"Tell me about everything, Gilligan."
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"So you told her everything, eh?"
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"Then she ran from you to Howell and told him everything."
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"Gilligan, I've taught you what to do when Ginger was after you."
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"Sorry, I tried to remember."
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"- But-but-- - But what?"
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"She started scratching my back against a tree"
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"found a favorite spot, and I don't know what my mouth said."
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"Gilligan, I don't want anymore talking. You understand?"
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"Luckily, Mr. Howell can't do anything about this."
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"- Morning, Mary Ann. - Hi, Skipper. Hi, Gilligan."
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"- What's the matter? - I'm not allowed to talk."
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"Mary Ann, could we have a couple of your carrots?"
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"I'm sorry, Skipper, not unless Mr. Howell says it's okay."
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"What? W-w-what's Mr. Howell got to do with your carrots?"
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"Well, his carrots. He bought them over an hour ago."
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"Fifty carrots for $5,000?"
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"How's your long division, Skipper?"
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"Oh, never mind my long division, Gilligan."
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"If we can't have carrots"
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"we'll try some of your turnips. Maybe they'll work."
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"I'm sorry, Skipper."
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"- He bought those too? - Mm-hm."
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"All eight plants for $4,000."
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"Eight plants for $4,000?"
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"Never mind the long division, Gilligan."
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"All that you have left is your wild lettuce. We'll try that."
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"- He bought that too. - He bought that too."
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"Three thousand dollars."
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"Three thousand dollars for the wild lettuce"
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"and 9,000 and then 4,000"
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"and 4,000 is.."
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"- Gilligan, would you stop that? - I think I'm all mixed up."
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"Well, I'll straighten you out, mate."
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"Find something that's as good as carrots."
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"Something that my turtle will like better."
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"And do it before the race so I can win."
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"That's an order."
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"- Hi, Professor. - Hi, Gilligan."
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"I'm glad you got shipped wrecked with us."
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"I'm not sure, but I know you meant it as a compliment."
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"I do. You're a smart man."
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"- You know lots of things. - Such as?"
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"I'm not an authority on that subject."
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"You see, I'm not a herpetologist."
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"That's okay because he isn't a herp, he's a turtle."
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"A herpetologist is--"
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"Professor, what do you think he'd like to eat?"
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"Well, you might try seaweed or moss"
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"or plants or even grass."
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"- I'm really-- - Seaweed, grass, moss."
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"Okay, thanks a lot, Professor."
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"just like in orange juice."
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"You'd run when you see me holding seaweed at finish line."
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"'And it'll make you grow up to be a strong turtle.'"
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"Besides that, it tastes good. Just look at Gilligan."
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"Look happy, like you're eating some steak."
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"See? Gilligan just loves it. Don't you?"
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"I hate it."
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"Turtle will hear it. Eat some more."
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"Maybe you'd rather have some of this grass."
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"Here we are."
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"You make that grass look good, Gilligan."
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"Down to the moss now."
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"Here, try some moss."
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"'Here, Gilligan. Make the moss look good.'"
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"Gilligan, he's eating the moss."
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"He's eating the moss."
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"We're back in business. We're back in business."
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"That's it."
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"'Eat!'"
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"(Skipper) 'Come on, turtle, move. Spin a little.'"
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"- 'Get up there.' - 'Come on.'"
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"'Oh, no. He's winning again.'"
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"(Howell) 'Ha ha ha.'"
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