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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Happy New Year (S10E10)

"Yeah. Scones are supposed to be hard. This is like a muffin."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Well, not really. It's supposed to be fresh."
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"Well, that's a fresh scone."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"I'm not quite sure you know what a scone is, Mocha Joe."
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"-Yeah. -You may have a looser definition of scone than I do."
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"I don't think it's really open to interpretation, though."
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"You want the scone, or not?"
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"Yeah, I'll keep the scone-slash-muffin."
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"-So you're gonna keep the scone? -Yeah. Muffin. Yeah."
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"-Hey, you got any Danishes? -Uh, no."
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"You're fuckin' up."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Mocha Joe: (sighs) Next."
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"(sighs)"
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"-Oh, my God. -(table squeaking)"
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"-Look at this table. Do you believe it? -Wow."
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"-Wow. -Hey, uh, hey, Mocha Joe."
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"Mocha Joe: Yeah?"
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"-Check out this table. -Yeah?"
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"(chuckles) It's a wobb-- You got a wobbly table, here."
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"Stop moving it? It's-- Every time I, I, I lean on it,"
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"I'm gonna sit with my foot on the table?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Yeah, that's how you hold it down. The floors are wobbly."
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"-Mocha Joe, can I give you a little advice? -Yeah."
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"Nobody likes a wobbly table."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Fastest way to lose customers is wobbly tables."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"I got an uncle with a wobbly leg."
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"I can't stand that motherfucker."
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"Leaning on shit all the time."
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"-Hmm. -Barista: Two medium cappuccinos."
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"(gulps) Aah. (scoffs)"
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"Larry: Taste your coffee."
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"-Cold. -It's cold."
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"Hey, man."
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"-Yeah. -Larry: Hey, Mocha Joe."
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"Whoa, whoa. Wait a second."
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"Look, we don't wanna be fuckin' haters right now,"
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"Can, can I get a n--"
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"-Can I get a new cup? -No."
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"-So you're not gonna give me a new cup. -No."
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"'Cause that's a hot cup of coffee."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"-It was hot when I gave it to you-- -That's a hot cup of coffee?"
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"It's a hot cup of coffee. It was hot when I gave it to you."
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"Would you stick your nose in a hot cup of coffee?"
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"Why would you stick your nose--"
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"Because I want to prove to you"
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"that it's cold coffee. Watch this."
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"That's cold coffee."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"-That doesn't prove anything except... -It does."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"...that you're an old, bald nut!"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"-What'd you say to me? -You heard me."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"-Now get out, you old, bald fuck! -With pleasure!"
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"You think I want to sit here with a wobbly table,"
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"-and drink cold black coffee? -Yeah."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"-No, thank you. -Yeah, good. Get out."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Hey. Larry might be one or two of those things, but not all three."
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"Happy New Year, Larry."
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"Happy New Year, Mocha Joe!"
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"♪ ♪"
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"(collar jingling)"
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"Alice: Morning, Larry. How are you?"
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"-Your dog? -Bogey!"
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"He's eating out of my bowl."
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"Oh, I just got that bowl from the kitchen."
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"I thought it was an office bowl."
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"Not for dogs."
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"-with soap, and then I dry it, and-- -No, that's not enough."
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"It needs to be sterilized. I can't, I can't..."
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"share a bowl with a dog."
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"(chuckles uncomfortably)"
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"-Uh, I've got some mail for you. -Ah!"
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"-And there's some other stuff. -Wait a second. Wait a second."
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"-Look at this. -Yeah."
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"-Is that new? -Relatively."
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"All right, what-- What the hell is that? Why is one eye closed?"
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"Oh, well, it's kind of personal. I don't--"
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"I don't share it with everybody."
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"Yeah, it's very personal."
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"The whole world can see it, but it's personal."
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"-Well, it's on my body. -Okay, okay."
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"Hey, let me ask you something, okay?"
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"If I walked in here with a horn on my head,"
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"would you say, "What are you doing with a horn on your head?""
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"I'd say, "Oh, I can't tell you. It's personal.""
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"I got the tattoo because of an event in my life,"
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"and it means something special to me."
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"It's a reminder of that to me."
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"Then why didn't you put it on your ass?"
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"I have something from the business manager that you need to sign."
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"Ah. All right."
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"-Okay. -Uh, it's just..."
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"There's an initial, and a date,"
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"May I?"
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"Oh, what are you doing? That's my shirt."
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"Well, I was... cleaning my glasses."
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"while I'm wearing it."
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"It's inappropriate. It's crossing a boundary."
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"-No good? -No good."
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"Hmm. (pops lips) Okay."
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"♪"
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"I know. Susie loves this house even more than her last one."
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"Well, the last one stunk."
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"Cheryl: It was too big."
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"And he called me, uh... He called me old and bald."
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"-What? -I swear to God."
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"You know, I'll tell you something. I love coffee,"
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"and I love his coffee, but you're one of my old--"
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"You are my oldest friend."
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"I'm gonna boycott that place."
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"-You're gonna boycott Mocha Joe's? -I'm boycotting."
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"-Look at this guy. Look at this guy. -That's a friend."
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"We were in the same hospital together."
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"-He can't fuck with my friend. -All right!"
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"Enjoy your coffee."
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"-He's boycotting. -He's boycotting. That's a big move."
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"-Jeff: That's a big move, a boycott. -Oh, my God."
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"Who invited you? You pig."
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"No, uh, Nancy, that is not Harvey Weinstein."
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"-I'm so sorry, Jeff. My sister's from out of town. -Jeff: Oh!"
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"-I'm just, I'm really sorry. -Oh, my God. Oh, I'm so--"
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"-Jeff: I'm the host of the party. -Oh, my God! I'm so sorry."
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