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Clips from The Simpsons (1989) - Diary Queen (S32E32)

"Bart Simpson. Longtime neighbor, first time reader."
The Simpsons (1989)
"There's no bad words in these"
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"if that's what you're looking for."
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"I cut 'em all out."
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"Mm."
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"Adultery Ass."
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"This is why I always carry a fan."
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"Don't worry, sir."
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"We're boys who have made our share of mistakes,"
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"but these books will fire up our imaginations."
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"♪"
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"My greatest moment!"
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"Oh, Bart."
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"I was filming the wrong way."
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"It's all me!"
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"Oh!"
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"Hmm."
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"Bart, that's clearly personal."
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"You have to give it back to Mr. Flanders."
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"You don't have a single little boy bone in your body, do you?"
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"Hey! I did take karate."
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"- (bee buzzing) - There's a bee in here!"
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"(grunting)"
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"(groans)"
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""My Journal.""
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"Wait a minute."
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"I've seen that red ink before, especially the D's and F's."
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"- (thunder crashing) - ♪ ♪"
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"It's Mrs. Krabappel's diary!"
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"(sniffs) Parliament Lights 100."
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"That was her brand."
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"EDNA: Remember: if you can teach one kid one thing,"
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"then today will be a success..."
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"Oh. I forgot Flanders married Krabappel."
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"Let the oceans have it, Bart."
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"They're big enough to hide any sin."
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"You would think so, but no."
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"Why are corpses so buoyant?"
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"'Cause I ain't dead yet!"
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"The boss ain't gonna like this."
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"I'm the boss!"
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"- Do you like it? - No!"
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"LOUIE: Shouldn't we stop those kids?"
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"FAT TONY: We don't kill children."
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"We'll wait till they're 18."
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"You taught me to read."
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"If you read this diary, you'll regret it."
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"Maybe not today..."
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"- Okay, good enough. - (groans)"
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"Does she write about how well I cleaned the gerbil cage?!"
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"If not, it might be a fake."
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"It's in there. And a lot more."
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"She says Chalmers hides his car keys"
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"on the top of his sun visor."
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"Slimmer!"
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"- (tires squealing) - Uh... What the...?"
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"get the yogurt, and never come back."
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"There they are! Go get 'em!"
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"Yeah, don't worry. We'll get your car, but, uh,"
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"Go for a drive just because."
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"- (grunting happily) - ♪ ♪"
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"Finally, thanks to Mrs. K,"
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"I'll know what goes on in the teachers' lounge."
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"No, this is not a sales call."
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"It's an opportunity to improve your life with gutter guards."
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"Ma'am, are you sure your family will be taken care of"
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"in case of a sinkhole?"
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"And with this cruise package, you're guaranteed a deck chair"
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"for one full hour a day."
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"So can I...? Hello? Hello?"
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"BART: So, working your night school jobs"
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"during school hours, eh?"
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"(laughs)"
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"Oh, you are still there. You're just very quiet."
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"I'll wait as long as it takes."
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"(bell tolling)"
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"That's the worst thing you can do in a church!"
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"Oh, my God. I'm in this."
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"(angelic choir singing)"
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""I had a wonderful time"
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""with my spikey‐haired after‐school buddy."
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""Sometimes I have to be tough on him so his behavior gets better,"
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""but he's smart as a whip."
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"I bet there's no door he won't be able to open.""
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"She's saying you have potential."
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"Oh, my God."
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"I thought she hated me after I glued her to her chair."
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"I have a future. The sky's the limit!"
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"("Hail to the Chief" playing)"
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"I got rid of the squeak in your chair, sir."
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"Good man."
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"When do I get paid? It's been three weeks."
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"Can't do better than that."
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"(sighs) This changes everything."
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"All this time I was showing my butt,"
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"I was actually showing promise."
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"I'm gonna live up to that potential."
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"♪ I used to march down the windy, windy sidewalks ♪"
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"♪ I didn't smile because a smile always seemed rehearsed ♪"
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"Pop art quiz!"
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"Is that a "pop" art quiz, or a "pop art" quiz?"
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"It's a "shut up and fill in the bubbles" quiz."
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"Okay, how am I gonna blow this off?"
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"Maybe fill in all the bubbles to make a skull."
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"Why not really try and do it?"
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"- You think? - (chuckles) Yes."
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"(gasps)"
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"And after "B," the next answer's usually "C.""
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"And the next one I can get from Martin."
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"This cake is for Bart."
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"He got an "A" on his test."
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"What's a matter? Wondering how I cheated?"
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"You know, all my thoughts aren't about you."
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"LISA: How did he do it? I must find out."
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"(gasps) Oh, God. All my thoughts are about him."
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"Think pony. Think pony."
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"‐(pony brays) ‐(yells)"
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"How'd you do it, Bart? How'd you do it?"
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"We're just gonna be very happy about this grade"
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"and not ask questions."
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