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Clips from Dogma

Short Films 1999 13 min ★ 7.4/10 (7 ratings) 1,918 clips
Short Drama

Credits

Ladies and gentlemen, the driving force behind Catholicism Wow!
"Ladies and gentlemen, the driving force behind Catholicism Wow!"
Dogma
...and the media in this country...
"...and the media in this country..."
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...view the Catholic Church.
"...view the Catholic Church."
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People find the Bible obtuse...
"People find the Bible obtuse..."
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...both of faith and of style.
"...both of faith and of style."
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...Holy Mother Church has decided to retire...
"...Holy Mother Church has decided to retire..."
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...yet wholly depressing image...
"...yet wholly depressing image..."
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...of our Lord, crucified.
"...of our Lord, crucified."
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Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the willies.
"Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the willies."
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...of many revamps the Catholicism Wow! campaign...
"...of many revamps the Catholicism Wow! campaign..."
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...will unveil over the next year, I give you...
"...will unveil over the next year, I give you..."
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...The Buddy Christ.
"...The Buddy Christ."
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Just something we've been kicking around the office.
"Just something we've been kicking around the office."
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Buddy Christ.
"Buddy Christ."
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...who was raised a carpenter's son, represents Western religions.
"...who was raised a carpenter's son, represents Western religions."
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They dupe all these oysters into following them...
"They dupe all these oysters into following them..."
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I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says...
"I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says..."
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- What am I...? - Yeah, I know.
"- What am I...? - Yeah, I know."
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...take this money you've collected for your parish...
"...take this money you've collected for your parish..."
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...because that's really all life is, Sister, it's a series of moments.
"...because that's really all life is, Sister, it's a series of moments."
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...because they're just both so relieved to be with one another.
"...because they're just both so relieved to be with one another."
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You call me, you tell me it's important, you know?
"You call me, you tell me it's important, you know?"
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And?
"And?"
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...will serve as a passageway of plenary indulgence...
"...will serve as a passageway of plenary indulgence..."
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For Sunday News Brief, I'm Grant Hicks.
"For Sunday News Brief, I'm Grant Hicks."
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- Then all we have to do is die. - Die? I don't wanna die.
"- Then all we have to do is die. - Die? I don't wanna die."
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- You rather hang around here? - No. We don't know if we can die.
"- You rather hang around here? - No. We don't know if we can die."
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It's impossible. If we cut off our wings...
"It's impossible. If we cut off our wings..."
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If we die with clean souls, they can't keep us out.
"If we die with clean souls, they can't keep us out."
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We won't be angels anymore, but at least we get to go home.
"We won't be angels anymore, but at least we get to go home."
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...by the son of God before he left was:
"...by the son of God before he left was:"
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This thing has a papal sanction...
"This thing has a papal sanction..."
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You can't be anal retentive if you don't have an anus.
"You can't be anal retentive if you don't have an anus."
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Outstanding work!
"Outstanding work!"
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Mooby, the Golden Calf.
"Mooby, the Golden Calf."
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Creating an empire out of simplicity.
"Creating an empire out of simplicity."
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I wanna hit them.
"I wanna hit them."
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You really are Just a simple creature.
"You really are Just a simple creature."
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...because you yearn for the good old days.
"...because you yearn for the good old days."
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What better way to repent than by resuming the position I once denied...
"What better way to repent than by resuming the position I once denied..."
Dogma
I don't think a killing spree is gonna make things better for us.
"I don't think a killing spree is gonna make things better for us."
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If I'm wrong, which I'm not, it's not gonna matter.
"If I'm wrong, which I'm not, it's not gonna matter."
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We're gonna pass through your arch thing anyway.
"We're gonna pass through your arch thing anyway."
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Let's kill people.
"Let's kill people."
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The archbishop of the Trenton diocese has disputed the state's decision...
"The archbishop of the Trenton diocese has disputed the state's decision..."
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...to remove the indigent man from life-support systems...
"...to remove the indigent man from life-support systems..."
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...maker of heaven and earth.
"...maker of heaven and earth."
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You're gonna burn in hell, you fucking baby killer!
"You're gonna burn in hell, you fucking baby killer!"
Dogma
Where?
"Where?"
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You have an excuse. You're Jewish. You don't know any better.
"You have an excuse. You're Jewish. You don't know any better."
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Where were you yesterday? We went to brunch.
"Where were you yesterday? We went to brunch."
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If only they knew your tithing came from a Planned Parenthood check.
"If only they knew your tithing came from a Planned Parenthood check."
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When you're young, the glass is little, so it's easy to fill.
"When you're young, the glass is little, so it's easy to fill."
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We're checking on possible Freon leaks.
"We're checking on possible Freon leaks."
Dogma
Tell me, do you have air conditioning?
"Tell me, do you have air conditioning?"
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Except the bathroom. Why?
"Except the bathroom. Why?"
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Well, you know what that means, don't you?
"Well, you know what that means, don't you?"
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Behold the Metatron!
"Behold the Metatron!"
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Herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true god!
"Herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true god!"
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Herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true god!
"Herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true god!"
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Get the fuck out of here, now!
"Get the fuck out of here, now!"
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Now, just sit down on the bed and shut up.
"Now, just sit down on the bed and shut up."
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You think everybody's just trying to get in your knickers.
"You think everybody's just trying to get in your knickers."
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I'm pissed off is what I am.
"I'm pissed off is what I am."
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Stand back.
"Stand back."
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...prior to your fire-fighting episode...
"...prior to your fire-fighting episode..."
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...I am the Metatron.
"...I am the Metatron."
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Why doesn't God speak for himself?
"Why doesn't God speak for himself?"
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Glad you decided to join the conversation.
"Glad you decided to join the conversation."
Dogma
We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.
"We went through five Adams before we figured that one out."
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Well, how do I know you're an angel?
"Well, how do I know you're an angel?"
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Fine.
"Fine."
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Dos tequilas, por favor, and an empty glass.
"Dos tequilas, por favor, and an empty glass."
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Actually, we're in the franchised Mexican eatery...
"Actually, we're in the franchised Mexican eatery..."
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You don't mind I lost the wings, do you?
"You don't mind I lost the wings, do you?"
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I am to charge you with a holy crusade.
"I am to charge you with a holy crusade."
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Noah was a drunk. Look what he accomplished.
"Noah was a drunk. Look what he accomplished."
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That doesn't sound like much of a crusade.
"That doesn't sound like much of a crusade."
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Aside from the fine print, that's it.
"Aside from the fine print, that's it."
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...and thus negating all existence.
"...and thus negating all existence."
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When Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed...
"When Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed..."
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But one day he refused to bear God's wrath any longer.
"But one day he refused to bear God's wrath any longer."
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The Tenth Plague.
"The Tenth Plague."
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...Loki takes his friend Bartleby out for a post-slaughter drink.
"...Loki takes his friend Bartleby out for a post-slaughter drink."
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...very inebriated...
"...very inebriated..."
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...and gives him the finger.
"...and gives him the finger."
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...God decreed that angels could no longer imbibe alcohol.
"...God decreed that angels could no longer imbibe alcohol."
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...would ever be allowed back into Paradise.
"...would ever be allowed back into Paradise."
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It's not that simple.
"It's not that simple."
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Existence in all its form and splendor...
"Existence in all its form and splendor..."
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...if they're allowed to enter that church...
"...if they're allowed to enter that church..."
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Why doesn't God do something about it?
"Why doesn't God do something about it?"
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He could. But he'd rather see you take care of this one personally.
"He could. But he'd rather see you take care of this one personally."
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When some quiet little infection destroyed my uterus, where was God?
"When some quiet little infection destroyed my uterus, where was God?"
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...he couldn't be with a wife who couldn't bear children...
"...he couldn't be with a wife who couldn't bear children..."
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...where was God?
"...where was God?"
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To hell with him.
"To hell with him."
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Don't allow eons of history and life to get blinked out of being...
"Don't allow eons of history and life to get blinked out of being..."
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Saving it!
"Saving it!"
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But I can't make you.
"But I can't make you."
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What? More angels?
"What? More angels?"
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In a manner of speaking. Two of them.
"In a manner of speaking. Two of them."
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And he will, at great length, whether you want him to or not.
"And he will, at great length, whether you want him to or not."
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- will make mention of himself as a prophet.
"- will make mention of himself as a prophet."
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...well, he's the quiet type.
"...well, he's the quiet type."
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Look, I've gotta go.
"Look, I've gotta go."
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Hey.
"Hey."
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Sex is a joke in heaven?
"Sex is a joke in heaven?"
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I'll see you.
"I'll see you."
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That I'd like to know who they and you are.
"That I'd like to know who they and you are."
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I'm Jay, and this is my hetero life mate, Silent Bob.
"I'm Jay, and this is my hetero life mate, Silent Bob."
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I don't know those kids, but they would have kicked yours...
"I don't know those kids, but they would have kicked yours..."
Dogma
...and lunchbox's asses if I hadn't represented.
"...and lunchbox's asses if I hadn't represented."
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Wait a minute. Are you protestors?
"Wait a minute. Are you protestors?"
Dogma
Right.
"Right."
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It's a lot more compact than the flaming sword...
"It's a lot more compact than the flaming sword..."
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Easy for you to say. You get off light in a razing.
"Easy for you to say. You get off light in a razing."
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I had to do all the work.
"I had to do all the work."
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Jersey's pretty far from McHenry. May I ask what brought you here?
"Jersey's pretty far from McHenry. May I ask what brought you here?"
Dogma
Sixteen Candles John Hughes?
"Sixteen Candles John Hughes?"
Dogma