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Clips from BoJack Horseman - Hank After Dark (S02E02)

"at AOL-Time Warner-Pepsico- Viacom-Halliburton-Skynet-"
BoJack Horseman
"Toyota-Trader Joe's, and we agreed"
BoJack Horseman
"these kind of stories, they don't sell magazines."
BoJack Horseman
"- Are you seriously killing this? - It's just not a good time."
BoJack Horseman
"and is currently profiting off of Hank Hippopopalous's good reputation?"
BoJack Horseman
"I know you're upset."
BoJack Horseman
"Would you like a Joe-Joe?"
BoJack Horseman
"It's just like an Oreo, but Trader Joe's style."
BoJack Horseman
"No, I don't want a Joe-Joe."
BoJack Horseman
"Not because Joe-Joes taste like garbage?"
BoJack Horseman
"Dog friend's program is to find what celebrities know?"
BoJack Horseman
"- Yep. - So, is torture?"
BoJack Horseman
"We don't torture people in America, Todd."
BoJack Horseman
"In America, you do not know to suffer."
BoJack Horseman
"You eat your cheesy pizza, you drink your Ade of gator."
BoJack Horseman
"This life is nice for visit but no way for live."
BoJack Horseman
"Sounds great, Todd. See you tomorrow."
BoJack Horseman
"So, they hated the skorts idea, huh?"
BoJack Horseman
"No, I didn't pitch your skorts idea."
BoJack Horseman
"[man 1] Hey, Diane!"
BoJack Horseman
"[man 2] Yeah, don't listen to that guy, Diane."
BoJack Horseman
"- How could you say that? - What are you doing here?"
BoJack Horseman
"I mean, what is your endgame in all of this?"
BoJack Horseman
"You don't actually believe Hank's innocent, do you?"
BoJack Horseman
"You're not gonna beat this guy."
BoJack Horseman
"I..."
BoJack Horseman
"- What? - Todd?"
BoJack Horseman
"I thought I would never see you again."
BoJack Horseman
"- We're in the middle of something. - I got mixed up in some bad stuff"
BoJack Horseman
"and a genocide may or may not have been perpetrated in my name."
BoJack Horseman
"Maybe you heard about it on the news?"
BoJack Horseman
"What? Why? This is really serious."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, of course your thing is serious"
BoJack Horseman
"by attacking a famous man, is that it?"
BoJack Horseman
"Uh, what? No."
BoJack Horseman
"Diane, obviously Todd doesn't know what you're talking about."
BoJack Horseman
"He spent the last few days at Burning Man or whatever getting high."
BoJack Horseman
"A stranger just told me to eat shit."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't understand why you can't be on my side about this."
BoJack Horseman
"And I'm telling you you're not gonna win this thing."
BoJack Horseman
"Also, P.S., when have you ever been on my side?"
BoJack Horseman
"- I am always on your side. - Really?"
BoJack Horseman
"Like when you wrote that book? Was that you being on my side?"
BoJack Horseman
"You're not still mad about the book."
BoJack Horseman
"Guys? There is a very fragile alliance"
BoJack Horseman
"If we don't do something..."
BoJack Horseman
"You got everything you wanted because of that book."
BoJack Horseman
"You were a joke, now people take you seriously."
BoJack Horseman
"But also, you were my friend and you hurt my feelings."
BoJack Horseman
"and that you still won't."
BoJack Horseman
"Well... [quietly] I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."
BoJack Horseman
"- Are you? - Yes, actually. I am."
BoJack Horseman
"I definitely should have. I'm sorry."
BoJack Horseman
"But this is bigger than you and me."
BoJack Horseman
"And I need you in my corner now because I don't have anybody else."
BoJack Horseman
"Well, okay."
BoJack Horseman
"Guys, earlier, some general asked me if it was "a go""
BoJack Horseman
"...on "that thing we talked about"?"
BoJack Horseman
"if I could write a story for Buzzfeed. Here's the good news:"
BoJack Horseman
"They'll publish anything."
BoJack Horseman
"Hey, um..."
BoJack Horseman
"Can I talk to you?"
BoJack Horseman
"I asked you, really nicely, not to make a big thing out of this."
BoJack Horseman
"- Yeah, I know, but someone... - Had to say something, right?"
BoJack Horseman
"Because... why?"
BoJack Horseman
"I really don't get it."
BoJack Horseman
"What is accomplished by you being the one to take a stand on this?"
BoJack Horseman
"This game show is a really big deal for me."
BoJack Horseman
"And I know that sounds stupid to you, and small."
BoJack Horseman
"But I need this to go well, and I can't... [sighs]"
BoJack Horseman
"Those are death threats."
BoJack Horseman
"because of what she's saying on the news"
BoJack Horseman
"about something that she has nothing to do with."
BoJack Horseman
"- Yeah, that doesn't say "can't." - Oh."
BoJack Horseman
"God, you know, you'd almost be safer in Cordovia."
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah, maybe I should go to Cordovia."
BoJack Horseman
"[man over PA] Flight 57, Cordovian Airlines, now boarding."
BoJack Horseman
"Hank, I have to ask, did you do it?"
BoJack Horseman
"Well, that's good enough for me."
BoJack Horseman
"Coming up, Kanye West claims to hate Thin Mints. Our panel is outraged."
BoJack Horseman
"Hating Thin Mints? Is he legally insane?"
BoJack Horseman
"You can bet we'll get into this further in the next hour."
BoJack Horseman
"[sighs]"
BoJack Horseman
"♫ Back in the 90s ♫"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ I was in a very famous TV show ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ I guess I'll just try And make you understand ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ That I'm more horse than a man ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"[audience laughs and applauds]"
BoJack Horseman
"Hank Hippopopalous, Hank After Dark!"
BoJack Horseman
"[camera shutters clicking]"
BoJack Horseman
"Uncle Hanky. Sir, I am your biggest fan."
BoJack Horseman
"Don't beat yourself up too bad."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, that's backwards, isn't it?"
BoJack Horseman
"You're a movie star now."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay, so, I thought for the ad,"
BoJack Horseman
""Hank and Mr. Peanutbutter are back to back. Thursdays on MBN." [laughs]"
BoJack Horseman
"So, my question is:"
BoJack Horseman
"- Uh... - And what part should the U.S. play"
BoJack Horseman
"and what does she have against our beloved hippopotamus?"
BoJack Horseman
"- Did you know we both hate phonies? - I did know that."
BoJack Horseman
"You ever try to fit into a mine shaft?"
BoJack Horseman
"Bear not like to be poke."
BoJack Horseman
"That woman can knock a drink back like a Kennedy at a wake for another Kennedy,"
BoJack Horseman
"Um, okay, I wanted to pitch you an exposé on Hank Hippopopalous."
BoJack Horseman
"Like, uh, what to do with all those extra buttons that come with your shirts."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't know. What do you think, answering machine?"
BoJack Horseman
"What? Oh, no!"
BoJack Horseman
"And fired his chief advisor, who can be seen in this file photo"
BoJack Horseman
"This is me doing you a favor."
BoJack Horseman
"Because you're mad at me, right?"
BoJack Horseman
"That's called one of the amendments."
BoJack Horseman
"[shouting in Cordovian]"
BoJack Horseman
"- Eat shit, Diane! - You eat shit!"
BoJack Horseman
"No! That's not what happened at all."
BoJack Horseman
"between the Cords and the Ovians."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay, yes. All of that is true."
BoJack Horseman
"and I probably could have handled things better."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay."
BoJack Horseman
"[sighs]"
BoJack Horseman
"[man] Hey."
BoJack Horseman
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