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Clips from The Cable Guy

Short Films 1996 16 min ★ 4.4/10 (101 ratings) 835 clips
Short Adult

Credits

...was that one day, I didn't want to have sex with him.
"...was that one day, I didn't want to have sex with him."
The Cable Guy
- Jamie, I... - No!
"- Jamie, I... - No!"
The Cable Guy
Hi, this is Robin Harris. Steven doesn't live here anymore...
"Hi, this is Robin Harris. Steven doesn't live here anymore..."
The Cable Guy
- Cable guy! - Don't leave!
"- Cable guy! - Don't leave!"
The Cable Guy
- I'm coming! - Cable guy!
"- I'm coming! - Cable guy!"
The Cable Guy
Yeah. I was going to the bed-and-bath place. Now it's closed.
"Yeah. I was going to the bed-and-bath place. Now it's closed."
The Cable Guy
The old McNair place.
"The old McNair place."
The Cable Guy
They had a lot of cats.
"They had a lot of cats."
The Cable Guy
Come on, baby.
"Come on, baby."
The Cable Guy
Tell me where you like it.
"Tell me where you like it."
The Cable Guy
Hello, mama.
"Hello, mama."
The Cable Guy
How about this?
"How about this?"
The Cable Guy
That's your sweet spot, right there.
"That's your sweet spot, right there."
The Cable Guy
What?
"What?"
The Cable Guy
...I noticed you were previously wired at 1268 and a half Chestnut.
"...I noticed you were previously wired at 1268 and a half Chestnut."
The Cable Guy
Last week, the billing was transferred to one Robin Harris.
"Last week, the billing was transferred to one Robin Harris."
The Cable Guy
No sweat off my sack.
"No sweat off my sack."
The Cable Guy
You'll be channel surfing in no time.
"You'll be channel surfing in no time."
The Cable Guy
Sam turned to petty larceny...
"Sam turned to petty larceny..."
The Cable Guy
I just have some paperwork for you to fill out.
"I just have some paperwork for you to fill out."
The Cable Guy
I feel good about this.
"I feel good about this."
The Cable Guy
I have this friend, and he gave his cable guy $50.
"I have this friend, and he gave his cable guy $50."
The Cable Guy
That's illegal. You could be fined up to $5000 or go to jail.
"That's illegal. You could be fined up to $5000 or go to jail."
The Cable Guy
I'll juice you up.
"I'll juice you up."
The Cable Guy
Oklahoma!
"Oklahoma!"
The Cable Guy
If you screw this project up, it's not going to be my ass.
"If you screw this project up, it's not going to be my ass."
The Cable Guy
Stevie, time to leavie!
"Stevie, time to leavie!"
The Cable Guy
I've had a few drinks, so buckle up.
"I've had a few drinks, so buckle up."
The Cable Guy
- That's pretty impressive. - I knew you'd appreciate this.
"- That's pretty impressive. - I knew you'd appreciate this."
The Cable Guy
Soon every home will integrate their television, phone and computer.
"Soon every home will integrate their television, phone and computer."
The Cable Guy
- But the TV was always there. - I know what you mean.
"- But the TV was always there. - I know what you mean."
The Cable Guy
That's tough. You must have a lot of abandonment issues.
"That's tough. You must have a lot of abandonment issues."
The Cable Guy
Reality isn't Father Knows Best anymore.
"Reality isn't Father Knows Best anymore."
The Cable Guy
...and a trip to the hospital for reconstructive surgery.
"...and a trip to the hospital for reconstructive surgery."
The Cable Guy
But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?
"But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?"
The Cable Guy
Can I be frank?
"Can I be frank?"
The Cable Guy
All the complicated splendor that is woman.
"All the complicated splendor that is woman."
The Cable Guy
It was Jerry Springer's final thought on Friday's show.
"It was Jerry Springer's final thought on Friday's show."
The Cable Guy
It's embarrassing, I don't even know your name.
"It's embarrassing, I don't even know your name."
The Cable Guy
I'm interested in learning about the complicated splendor that is you.
"I'm interested in learning about the complicated splendor that is you."
The Cable Guy
- Great. We need another man. - Chip Douglas, my cable guy.
"- Great. We need another man. - Chip Douglas, my cable guy."
The Cable Guy
You'll find out.
"You'll find out."
The Cable Guy
Foul!
"Foul!"
The Cable Guy
- That was a travel! - Whatever you say, Chip!
"- That was a travel! - Whatever you say, Chip!"
The Cable Guy
- I'm just talking trash. - You ruined the game.
"- I'm just talking trash. - You ruined the game."
The Cable Guy
We're not friends. I don't even know you.
"We're not friends. I don't even know you."
The Cable Guy
It's me again. I was taking a whiz. Thought you might have called.
"It's me again. I was taking a whiz. Thought you might have called."
The Cable Guy
- How's Hal? - The guy has no vision.
"- How's Hal? - The guy has no vision."
The Cable Guy
- Are you okay? - I'm fine. Don't I look fine?
"- Are you okay? - I'm fine. Don't I look fine?"
The Cable Guy
- It doesn't. They ask you. - I'm starting to notice that.
"- It doesn't. They ask you. - I'm starting to notice that."
The Cable Guy
If you get a new wife, do you get to have sex with her?
"If you get a new wife, do you get to have sex with her?"
The Cable Guy
In movies, women always scratch the man when they're having sex.
"In movies, women always scratch the man when they're having sex."
The Cable Guy
- Why didn't you take my call? - I can't always pick up the phone.
"- Why didn't you take my call? - I can't always pick up the phone."
The Cable Guy
Your nostrils flare when you're mad.
"Your nostrils flare when you're mad."
The Cable Guy
Dost thust have thou a mug of ale for me and me mate?
"Dost thust have thou a mug of ale for me and me mate?"
The Cable Guy
He has been pitched in battle for a fortnight and has a king's thirst.
"He has been pitched in battle for a fortnight and has a king's thirst."
The Cable Guy
Thanks.
"Thanks."
The Cable Guy
...the likes of which you'll never forget?
"...the likes of which you'll never forget?"
The Cable Guy
The red knight sucks the big one! You're going down, red knight!
"The red knight sucks the big one! You're going down, red knight!"
The Cable Guy
- Could I get a knife and fork? - There were none in medieval times.
"- Could I get a knife and fork? - There were none in medieval times."
The Cable Guy
Hello, Clarice. It's good to see you again.
"Hello, Clarice. It's good to see you again."
The Cable Guy
Oh, Lord.
"Oh, Lord."
The Cable Guy
Master Steven Kovacs and Lord Chip, come to the fighting pit!
"Master Steven Kovacs and Lord Chip, come to the fighting pit!"
The Cable Guy
- We're going to do battle. - Is this a normal part of the show?
"- We're going to do battle. - Is this a normal part of the show?"
The Cable Guy
- Is it safe? - Sure! That's what the armor's for.
"- Is it safe? - Sure! That's what the armor's for."
The Cable Guy
Come back so that I may brain thee!
"Come back so that I may brain thee!"
The Cable Guy
My leg! I have a cramp.
"My leg! I have a cramp."
The Cable Guy
I am now.
"I am now."
The Cable Guy
I don't believe you. It's another trick.
"I don't believe you. It's another trick."
The Cable Guy
This is like when Spock fought Kirk. Best friends forced to do battle.
"This is like when Spock fought Kirk. Best friends forced to do battle."
The Cable Guy
Chip, this isn't funny! Stop it!
"Chip, this isn't funny! Stop it!"
The Cable Guy
Eat! Keep eating!
"Eat! Keep eating!"
The Cable Guy
Quickly! Muster atop your steed.
"Quickly! Muster atop your steed."
The Cable Guy
Are you all right?
"Are you all right?"
The Cable Guy
Well done, good sir. You are the victor.
"Well done, good sir. You are the victor."
The Cable Guy
Did you hear that?
"Did you hear that?"
The Cable Guy
You give me something more valuable. Friendship.
"You give me something more valuable. Friendship."
The Cable Guy
You have to take this stuff back.
"You have to take this stuff back."
The Cable Guy
Hi, this is Robin Harris.
"Hi, this is Robin Harris."
The Cable Guy
I'm at the office. Call me. Bye.
"I'm at the office. Call me. Bye."
The Cable Guy
Good. Keep it up. It's your ass.
"Good. Keep it up. It's your ass."
The Cable Guy
- I love you, but I have to go. Bye. - Bye.
"- I love you, but I have to go. Bye. - Bye."
The Cable Guy
You're damn right, I'm right.
"You're damn right, I'm right."
The Cable Guy
Yes, it is. Yes, it is. It is to me.
"Yes, it is. Yes, it is. It is to me."
The Cable Guy
He's having a super time.
"He's having a super time."
The Cable Guy
I don't know what your story is, but I'm going to find out.
"I don't know what your story is, but I'm going to find out."
The Cable Guy
- You had honey in your voice. - Do a song for us.
"- You had honey in your voice. - Do a song for us."
The Cable Guy
No, I couldn't. No, I really couldn't.
"No, I couldn't. No, I really couldn't."
The Cable Guy
All right, already!
"All right, already!"
The Cable Guy
What do you mean, buy what? The women.
"What do you mean, buy what? The women."
The Cable Guy
Of course. We couldn't get a woman like that without paying.
"Of course. We couldn't get a woman like that without paying."
The Cable Guy
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
"Oh, hey, hey, hey."
The Cable Guy
Most appreciated.
"Most appreciated."
The Cable Guy
Gail tells me you're coming out of a relationship.
"Gail tells me you're coming out of a relationship."
The Cable Guy
You've been working hard. Take a break.
"You've been working hard. Take a break."
The Cable Guy
Wait. I need to use the head. I want to find out about your job.
"Wait. I need to use the head. I want to find out about your job."
The Cable Guy
- Pleasant night, isn't it? - Yeah, not too bad.
"- Pleasant night, isn't it? - Yeah, not too bad."
The Cable Guy
- Unbelievable. - It's no trouble.
"- Unbelievable. - It's no trouble."
The Cable Guy
You're on a big date.
"You're on a big date."
The Cable Guy
A little JosÈ Eber...
"A little JosÈ Eber..."
The Cable Guy
...and... we're ready to dry you off!
"...and... we're ready to dry you off!"
The Cable Guy
- Is it a man named Steven? - I can't say.
"- Is it a man named Steven? - I can't say."
The Cable Guy
Oh, look what I've done.
"Oh, look what I've done."
The Cable Guy
That guy is devoted to you.
"That guy is devoted to you."
The Cable Guy
I shouldn't be telling you this...
"I shouldn't be telling you this..."
The Cable Guy
...but he thinks you're the cat's pajamas.
"...but he thinks you're the cat's pajamas."
The Cable Guy
Only every five minutes. Frankly I'm sick of hearing it.
"Only every five minutes. Frankly I'm sick of hearing it."
The Cable Guy
- He's a good man. - Yeah.
"- He's a good man. - Yeah."
The Cable Guy
I asked a woman to marry me once.
"I asked a woman to marry me once."
The Cable Guy
Sometimes you don't know what you've got till it's gone.
"Sometimes you don't know what you've got till it's gone."
The Cable Guy
I've said too much.
"I've said too much."
The Cable Guy
I wanted to do something for you, but you needed space, so...
"I wanted to do something for you, but you needed space, so..."
The Cable Guy
- Let's not make any more rules. - Okay.
"- Let's not make any more rules. - Okay."
The Cable Guy
- Are you ready to rock? - The concert. Oh, Jesus.
"- Are you ready to rock? - The concert. Oh, Jesus."
The Cable Guy
I think Robin and I are getting back together.
"I think Robin and I are getting back together."
The Cable Guy
I'll call you later-
"I'll call you later-"
The Cable Guy
Pretty smooth work. I set them up, you knock them down.
"Pretty smooth work. I set them up, you knock them down."
The Cable Guy
- What? - Robin. I got her back for you.
"- What? - Robin. I got her back for you."
The Cable Guy
- Bye. - Bye-bye.
"- Bye. - Bye-bye."
The Cable Guy
Way to go. Now they'll probably give him my job.
"Way to go. Now they'll probably give him my job."
The Cable Guy