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Clips from Don Jon

Movies 2013 90 min ★ 6.5/10 (256,806 ratings) 1,235 clips
Romance Drama Comedy

Credits

So I'll start off with some stills.
"So I'll start off with some stills."
Don Jon
I start looking for a video.
"I start looking for a video."
Don Jon
...goodbye
"...goodbye"
Don Jon
...the blowjob, the cowboy,
"...the blowjob, the cowboy,"
Don Jon
the doggy, the moneyshot, and that's it. I don't gotta say anything,
"the doggy, the moneyshot, and that's it. I don't gotta say anything,"
Don Jon
...my church...
"...my church..."
Don Jon
[WOMEN MOANING]
"[WOMEN MOANING]"
Don Jon
- You don't remember her? - She's coming over here.
"- You don't remember her? - She's coming over here."
Don Jon
'Cause you're staring right at her.
"'Cause you're staring right at her."
Don Jon
- WOMAN: Look who the fuck it is. - How you doing?
"- WOMAN: Look who the fuck it is. - How you doing?"
Don Jon
- Why didn't you call me back? - Come on. You're a grown woman.
"- Why didn't you call me back? - Come on. You're a grown woman."
Don Jon
Fuck you!
"Fuck you!"
Don Jon
You heard what she said? Everyone knows about the streak.
"You heard what she said? Everyone knows about the streak."
Don Jon
- Oh, my... damn! - What? What? Where?
"- Oh, my... damn! - What? What? Where?"
Don Jon
- Red. - Holy shit! That's a dime.
"- Red. - Holy shit! That's a dime."
Don Jon
- Fuck you! - Admit it!
"- Fuck you! - Admit it!"
Don Jon
- Jesus Christ. - Your mom do got some big-ass titties.
"- Jesus Christ. - Your mom do got some big-ass titties."
Don Jon
- Don't talk about my mother. - You brought up your mother.
"- Don't talk about my mother. - You brought up your mother."
Don Jon
- That's incorrect. - She's taller than you anyway.
"- That's incorrect. - She's taller than you anyway."
Don Jon
- Fuck you, Jonny. - I'm playing, come on.
"- Fuck you, Jonny. - I'm playing, come on."
Don Jon
WOMAN: Let me get a vodka-cranberry.
"WOMAN: Let me get a vodka-cranberry."
Don Jon
Jonny! - Sammy-boy, how you doing?
"Jonny! - Sammy-boy, how you doing?"
Don Jon
[HIP-HOP PLAYS]
"[HIP-HOP PLAYS]"
Don Jon
- Get the fuck out of here. - You wanna go somewhere?
"- Get the fuck out of here. - You wanna go somewhere?"
Don Jon
- Is that why you kissed me? - I didn't kiss you.
"- Is that why you kissed me? - I didn't kiss you."
Don Jon
Yeah, you did.
"Yeah, you did."
Don Jon
[HIP-HOP PLAYS]
"[HIP-HOP PLAYS]"
Don Jon
[COMPUTER CHIMES]
"[COMPUTER CHIMES]"
Don Jon
Real pussy's all good. But I'm sorry.
"Real pussy's all good. But I'm sorry."
Don Jon
Ass?
"Ass?"
Don Jon
Great.
"Great."
Don Jon
Blow-job
"Blow-job"
Don Jon
[MOANING]
"[MOANING]"
Don Jon
Now, when it comes to the actual fucking...
"Now, when it comes to the actual fucking..."
Don Jon
But you gotta wear one, 'cause,
"But you gotta wear one, 'cause,"
Don Jon
They won't let you do it from behind, 'cause they wanna look at you.
"They won't let you do it from behind, 'cause they wanna look at you."
Don Jon
JON: So, you tell me, which looks better?
"JON: So, you tell me, which looks better?"
Don Jon
You're a retarded person and you're driving a fucking car!
"You're a retarded person and you're driving a fucking car!"
Don Jon
Bullshit! Bullshit! Did you see that? That was fucking bullshit. Bad call.
"Bullshit! Bullshit! Did you see that? That was fucking bullshit. Bad call."
Don Jon
- Fucking bullshit. Did you see that? - Nah, I didn't see it. What happened?
"- Fucking bullshit. Did you see that? - Nah, I didn't see it. What happened?"
Don Jon
- Assholes, where's the replay?! - Dad, there's a thing you can pause
"- Assholes, where's the replay?! - Dad, there's a thing you can pause"
Don Jon
There! Look, his foot's on the line! Look at that bullshit!
"There! Look, his foot's on the line! Look at that bullshit!"
Don Jon
I ask you to do the easiest fucking thing, and you can't do it!
"I ask you to do the easiest fucking thing, and you can't do it!"
Don Jon
Amen.
"Amen."
Don Jon
- [COMPUTER CHIMES] - Also, nowadays you got so much
"- [COMPUTER CHIMES] - Also, nowadays you got so much"
Don Jon
And you're thinking to yourself, why can't real pussy be like this?
"And you're thinking to yourself, why can't real pussy be like this?"
Don Jon
Yo, you remember that dime from last week?
"Yo, you remember that dime from last week?"
Don Jon
- I wanna find that girl. - You get her name?
"- I wanna find that girl. - You get her name?"
Don Jon
If you had it like that, it would have went down.
"If you had it like that, it would have went down."
Don Jon
- She's a dime, but... - This girl's more than a dime.
"- She's a dime, but... - This girl's more than a dime."
Don Jon
Come on, son. There's no such thing, that's the point, it's a scale from one to ten.
"Come on, son. There's no such thing, that's the point, it's a scale from one to ten."
Don Jon
- How are you? - Good. Good. How you been?
"- How are you? - Good. Good. How you been?"
Don Jon
- Yeah. - I just looked up your name.
"- Yeah. - I just looked up your name."
Don Jon
- No, I definitely did not tell you my name. - Yeah, you did.
"- No, I definitely did not tell you my name. - Yeah, you did."
Don Jon
- Diet Coke, please. - A Coke.
"- Diet Coke, please. - A Coke."
Don Jon
But trust me, in the future you'll be much happier if you always tell me the truth.
"But trust me, in the future you'll be much happier if you always tell me the truth."
Don Jon
- I asked around. - You asked around about me?
"- I asked around. - You asked around about me?"
Don Jon
- Why? - Why? What do you mean why?
"- Why? - Why? What do you mean why?"
Don Jon
- You wanted to take me to lunch? - Yeah.
"- You wanted to take me to lunch? - Yeah."
Don Jon
- Don't lie. - OK, I asked around about you
"- Don't lie. - OK, I asked around about you"
Don Jon
You're gonna have to wait to find out.
"You're gonna have to wait to find out."
Don Jon
It seemed like you were in a big hurry the other day.
"It seemed like you were in a big hurry the other day."
Don Jon
You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.
"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life."
Don Jon
You like movies?
"You like movies?"
Don Jon
girl, my best bet was to watch a movie.
"girl, my best bet was to watch a movie."
Don Jon
- I love these two. And you? - Yeah. They're great.
"- I love these two. And you? - Yeah. They're great."
Don Jon
JON: But now, I don't really see the point.
"JON: But now, I don't really see the point."
Don Jon
Love at first sight.
"Love at first sight."
Don Jon
- The breakup. - WOMAN ONSCREEN: I felt that!
"- The breakup. - WOMAN ONSCREEN: I felt that!"
Don Jon
[FIREWORKS WHISTLING, POPPING IN DISTANCE]
"[FIREWORKS WHISTLING, POPPING IN DISTANCE]"
Don Jon
[ORGAN PLAYS SOMBER MELODY]
"[ORGAN PLAYS SOMBER MELODY]"
Don Jon
- PRIEST: Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
"- PRIEST: Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Don Jon
Also, I watched pornographic videos and masturbated 22 times.
"Also, I watched pornographic videos and masturbated 22 times."
Don Jon
For these and all the sins of my life, I am sorry.
"For these and all the sins of my life, I am sorry."
Don Jon
- Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys. - Thank you, Father.
"- Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys. - Thank you, Father."
Don Jon
[JAZZY, SULTRY SONG PLAYING]
"[JAZZY, SULTRY SONG PLAYING]"
Don Jon
[ENGINE REVVING]
"[ENGINE REVVING]"
Don Jon
Oh, go! Jesus. It's a yellow light! Fuck you!
"Oh, go! Jesus. It's a yellow light! Fuck you!"
Don Jon
[WHISPERING] Our Father... Who art in heaven...
"[WHISPERING] Our Father... Who art in heaven..."
Don Jon
...Thy will be done...
"...Thy will be done..."
Don Jon
...on earth...
"...on earth..."
Don Jon
- Why not? - It's not time for that yet.
"- Why not? - It's not time for that yet."
Don Jon
And you don't know my friends.
"And you don't know my friends."
Don Jon
- 'Cause I know they wanna meet you. - Yeah... I bet they do.
"- 'Cause I know they wanna meet you. - Yeah... I bet they do."
Don Jon
- I can't let you come inside just yet. - No?
"- I can't let you come inside just yet. - No?"
Don Jon
No, 'cause I don't know what that would mean. You know?
"No, 'cause I don't know what that would mean. You know?"
Don Jon
Uh-huh...
"Uh-huh..."
Don Jon
- Yeah, come on. Just a night class. - Oh, my God!
"- Yeah, come on. Just a night class. - Oh, my God!"
Don Jon
- You would be so sexy with a real job. - Mm!
"- You would be so sexy with a real job. - Mm!"
Don Jon
- Yeah. - Mm...
"- Yeah. - Mm..."
Don Jon
And you take one night class for me, baby? One little class?
"And you take one night class for me, baby? One little class?"
Don Jon
- Oh! Oh! - Huh? Yeah? Yeah?
"- Oh! Oh! - Huh? Yeah? Yeah?"
Don Jon
[PANTING, GRUNTING]
"[PANTING, GRUNTING]"
Don Jon
- Nice. - Oh, Jesus...
"- Nice. - Oh, Jesus..."
Don Jon
Yeah.
"Yeah."
Don Jon
You're so cute.
"You're so cute."
Don Jon
Call me.
"Call me."
Don Jon
- Oh, God. - All right.
"- Oh, God. - All right."
Don Jon
- To you, baby. - No, to us.
"- To you, baby. - No, to us."
Don Jon
- Oh, my God. That's so amazing! - All right. I like him.
"- Oh, my God. That's so amazing! - All right. I like him."
Don Jon
Goddamn! White shorts.
"Goddamn! White shorts."
Don Jon
- To you, maybe not, but to me... - Look at that. Sorry, buddy.
"- To you, maybe not, but to me... - Look at that. Sorry, buddy."
Don Jon
- Did you say...? - JON SR.: She asked you what you said.
"- Did you say...? - JON SR.: She asked you what you said."
Don Jon
She's not Italian, we know that.
"She's not Italian, we know that."
Don Jon
- And does she love you? - Wait a minute. Love him? You kidding?
"- And does she love you? - Wait a minute. Love him? You kidding?"
Don Jon
- Fuck me? Did you just say fuck me to me? - Jon!
"- Fuck me? Did you just say fuck me to me? - Jon!"
Don Jon
- Here you go, babe. - OK.
"- Here you go, babe. - OK."
Don Jon
You look so cute, the two of you.
"You look so cute, the two of you."
Don Jon
MAN: Barbara!
"MAN: Barbara!"
Don Jon
Close the door.
"Close the door."
Don Jon
- It's great. - Yeah? You're on break?
"- It's great. - Yeah? You're on break?"
Don Jon
- Baby, I'm just so proud of you. - Thanks.
"- Baby, I'm just so proud of you. - Thanks."
Don Jon
- You wanna come to my place? - Mm-hm.
"- You wanna come to my place? - Mm-hm."
Don Jon
OK, great.
"OK, great."
Don Jon
- Excuse me. Sorry. - Oh, fuck, I'm sorry.
"- Excuse me. Sorry. - Oh, fuck, I'm sorry."
Don Jon
- Hi, baby. - Hey.
"- Hi, baby. - Hey."
Don Jon
[ROMANTIC MUSIC SWELLS]
"[ROMANTIC MUSIC SWELLS]"
Don Jon
- It's OK. I'll be right back. - Baby...
"- It's OK. I'll be right back. - Baby..."
Don Jon
[COMPUTER CHIMES]
"[COMPUTER CHIMES]"
Don Jon
But I'm sorry to say, it's still not as good as porn.
"But I'm sorry to say, it's still not as good as porn."
Don Jon