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Clips from Community - Contemporary American Poultry (S01E01)

You got caught with a fake bachelor's degree.

"You got caught with a fake bachelor's degree."

Community

By the way, they started using that

"By the way, they started using that"

Community

Total rip off.

"Total rip off."

Community

I'm here to dismantle the fryer,

"I'm here to dismantle the fryer,"

Community

To cut your power off at its source.

"To cut your power off at its source."

Community

Don't you see what happened?

"Don't you see what happened?"

Community

I manipulated the group

"I manipulated the group"

Community

Into getting you the fry cook job

"Into getting you the fry cook job"

Community

So I could have some chicken.

"So I could have some chicken."

Community

Mm-hmm.

"Mm-hmm."

Community

Made me jealous.

"Made me jealous."

Community

Maybe this is a special episode.

"Maybe this is a special episode."

Community

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Community

You know, there's specialists you could talk to.

"You know, there's specialists you could talk to."

Community

Mm-hmm.

"Mm-hmm."

Community

- In the meantime... - Mm-hmm?

"- In the meantime... - Mm-hmm?"

Community

Let's make a deal.

"Let's make a deal."

Community

I'll help you connect with people,

"I'll help you connect with people,"

Community

And you help me do a better job with them.

"And you help me do a better job with them."

Community

Like knight rider.

"Like knight rider."

Community

Exactly. Like knight rider.

"Exactly. Like knight rider."

Community

Deal.

"Deal."

Community

I'll put on a leather jacket

"I'll put on a leather jacket"

Community

And make out with an aerobics instructor.

"And make out with an aerobics instructor."

Community

You pull around front and comedically

"You pull around front and comedically"

Community

Startle passersby with your ability to talk.

"Startle passersby with your ability to talk."

Community

Maybe we should just stay here

"Maybe we should just stay here"

Community

Cool.

"Cool."

Community

Pick one reference, Abed.

"Pick one reference, Abed."

Community

Sixteen candles.

"Sixteen candles."

Community

I quit the fry cook job,

"I quit the fry cook job,"

Community

Somewhat for the sake of the family,

"Somewhat for the sake of the family,"

Community

But mostly for the sake of Jeff's ego.

"But mostly for the sake of Jeff's ego."

Community

Poor guy.

"Poor guy."

Community

Now everyone's back to being a bunch of regular schnooks,

"Now everyone's back to being a bunch of regular schnooks,"

Community

And I'm back to being a weirdo,

"And I'm back to being a weirdo,"

Community

For now.

"For now."

Community

There's still not enough chicken fingers.

"There's still not enough chicken fingers."

Community

- No way. - What?

"- No way. - What?"

Community

'cause as soon as our family moved out,

"'cause as soon as our family moved out,"

Community

A new syndicate moved in to take its place.

"A new syndicate moved in to take its place."

Community

But you know what they'll never make a replacement for?

"But you know what they'll never make a replacement for?"

Community

Okay, thank you. That's great, Abed.

"Okay, thank you. That's great, Abed."

Community

But could you just answer the question?

"But could you just answer the question?"

Community

What was it?

"What was it?"

Community

Do you know who might have stolen

"Do you know who might have stolen"

Community

A box of hairnets from the kitchen?

"A box of hairnets from the kitchen?"

Community

Someone with hair.

"Someone with hair."

Community

I'm gonna write that down.

"I'm gonna write that down."

Community

The idea that you compulsively filter yourself

"The idea that you compulsively filter yourself"

Community

It's like a mafia movie.

"It's like a mafia movie."

Community

That featured an entourage.

"That featured an entourage."

Community

Mm-hmm.

"Mm-hmm."

Community

Mm-hmm.

"Mm-hmm."

Community

You said you wanted someone in your entourage named Travis.

"You said you wanted someone in your entourage named Travis."

Community

Annie's boobs could be anywhere.

"Annie's boobs could be anywhere."

Community

And just like that, the mafia movie was over.

"And just like that, the mafia movie was over."

Community

Back to watching from the outside...

"Back to watching from the outside..."

Community

Friends.

"Friends."

Community

Oh, I'm sure I don't have a chance with him.

"Oh, I'm sure I don't have a chance with him."

Community

We got it.

"We got it."

Community

- Oh. - Ooh, robot.

"- Oh. - Ooh, robot."

Community

No, no.

"No, no."

Community

You're the worst, Annie.

"You're the worst, Annie."

Community

Now, say someone were to remove it.

"Now, say someone were to remove it."

Community

Nobody asked any questions because Pierce's experience

"Nobody asked any questions because Pierce's experience"

Community

- Thank you, Abed. - You're welcome.

"- Thank you, Abed. - You're welcome."

Community

Star-burns works the fryer and skims fingers.

"Star-burns works the fryer and skims fingers."

Community

He gives them to people just so

"He gives them to people just so"

Community

Back in those days, Jeff winger

"Back in those days, Jeff winger"

Community

Was going out the side door.

"Was going out the side door."

Community

And bring an end to this operation.

"And bring an end to this operation."

Community

To this dorm room is what would prevent you

"To this dorm room is what would prevent you"

Community