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Clips from The Detour - The Beach (S01E01)

"You think you're in a bigger hurry than us?"
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"- I'm sorry, what? - He said, "I'm sorry.""
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""You think you're in a bigger hurry than us?""
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"You got an arrow through your chest, man."
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"Puts some shit in perspective, doesn't it?"
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"He says, "Puts shit in perspective, don't it?""
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"Yeah, I guess it does. Sorry."
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"You should really get to a hospital."
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"Yeah, whatever. We got to go to my mama's first."
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"What the hell is wrong with Florida?"
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"I love turtles. Look at his face. Just makes me laugh."
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"You know who else loves turtles? My husband."
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"Perhaps you'd like to slip into a bathing suit downstairs?"
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"I'd very much like to see you in one."
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"- I bet you would. - Yes."
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"Oh, shit!"
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"I'm sorry I don't have a boat!"
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"What are you doing?!"
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"Oh. I was trying to save you!"
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"Did you think..."
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"Now that I see you laughing, no."
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"- Oh, god. - Robin?"
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"- Yeah. - Who is this?"
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"Oh. That is my husband."
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"Sir, honor to meet you. I'm a... I'm a huge fan."
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"Were you just jumping after that boat?"
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"I was. That one, yep."
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"- Why did you think that was his boat? - It's a very nice boat."
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"Well, not when I see this boat, no."
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"What?"
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"This is the boat that gets you to the real boat."
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"There's two boats."
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"Even if that tiny fishing boat were my boat,"
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"why were you trying to jump after it?"
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"- I set my own schedule. - It's a very nice boat."
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"Did you trip? 'Cause that's about how far you got."
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"Am I right? Am I right?"
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"- It... it was a very pathetic jump. - Yeah."
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"Uh, expensive champagne gets you drunk real quick."
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"- I wish I was rich. - Yeah."
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"Okay, permission to come aboard, captain?"
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"Yeah, shut up."
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"Chazz! Oh, my god!"
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"He's over there hanging out with his "boyz,""
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"and I can't even get him to talk."
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"- Yeah, Chazz is a dick. - I know,"
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"but I put in so much time with him."
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"The good times still outweigh the bad times."
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"If you were to go up to him right now, what would you say?"
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"Fist bump."
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"rooster, buck buck buck, starfish."
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"Yeah!"
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"Sir, I am so grateful"
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"Mm."
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"But I got it, and it's this."
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"What the hell is that?"
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"Look at what I am offering, and you're just staring"
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"at some stupid pack of hand sanitizer?"
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"this is not your regular hand sanitizer, okay?"
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"This particular hand sanitizer..."
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"Is laced with..."
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"Triclosan."
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"Triclosan."
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"Tri... Triclosan. Tri... is it... Is it Triclosan?"
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"- It's Triclosan. - It's Triclosan. Triclosan."
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"Okay, instead of your usual alcohol-based formulas..."
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"Which are very effective, by the way..."
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"P.F.R. has put in an antibacterial ingredient"
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"which is known to cause endocrine disruption."
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"I called a lab in Pyongyang... That's the bad Korea..."
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"has shown a decreased level of testosterone"
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"in sperm production..."
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"No dude wants that!"
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"With a moderate increase in estrogen levels."
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"have shown altered levels of thyroid hormones..."
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"- Mm. - And early onset puberty."
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"You girls grow up fast enough these days."
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"A.M.A. put out a scathing report on it."
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"Tell him about the F.D.A."
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"And that was the president"
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"This hand sanitizer is not meant for humans."
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"please do something about this."
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"Stop it! It's your company. Please."
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"A very wise man once told me,"
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"what's right is right."
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"- Who said that? - You did."
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"No, I didn't."
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"Yes, you did. You... you gave a whole speech about it."
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"- I give a lot of speeches. - He lives his life by that."
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"What does that even mean?"
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"It's like saying apples are apples or left is left."
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"So black and white. Life is a myriad of color"
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"between those two absolutes."
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"Chris, these girls are thirsty. Get 'em a drink."
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"_"
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"_"
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"He has a giant sea turtle as a pet."
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"- What? - Yeah."
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"- And he wanted to sleep with me. - Excuse me?"
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"Yes, even after I told him I was married."
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"Sir, I'm gonna warn you one more time."
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"If you don't do something about this product,"
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"the company will fail."
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"I was getting ready to sell the company anyway."
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"Now is a better time than ever."
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"An overvalued product is about to plummet."
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"David! Bring in an N.D.A. so he can sign it"
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"so I don't get busted again for insider trading."
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"Sir, if you could just sign this."
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"Lobsong, y-your... your leg."
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"- Y-you have one. - I have two legs."
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"No. No, you... you lost one on... on the mountain."
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"When you were climb... you hacked it off with a crampon."
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"You're a Sherpa from Nepal."
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"- What is that? - The mountain."
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"You had a whole story about it!"
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"Sir, this agreement states that as an employee of P.F.R., you..."
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"Mnh-mnh. He's not an employee."
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"You are if you sign that paper."
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"Sign that paper,"
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