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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Robotic Manipulation (S04E04)

"Or, as we call them, "Shamy.""
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"Shamy."
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"I am so digging the Shamy."
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"Yes, I have a friend named Amy Farrah Fowler."
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"Yes, she is female."
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"Yes, we communicate on a daily basis,"
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"but no, she is not my girlfriend."
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"Okay, well, what do you communicate about?"
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"Well, my work in physics, her work in neurobiology,"
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"and most recently, the possibility"
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"of our having a child together."
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"Thank you."
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"You never see this girl."
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"Now you're considering having a baby?"
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"Amy pointed out that between the two of us,"
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"our genetic material has the potential"
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"of producing the first in a line"
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"of intellectually superior, benign overlords"
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"to guide humanity to a brighter tomorrow."
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"I'm guessing that future historians"
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"will condemn us for not taking"
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"this opportunity to kill Sheldon."
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"Okay, I have a question."
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"Yes, Penny."
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"You don't even like people touching you."
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"How are you going to have sex?"
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"Why on Earth would we have sex?"
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"Oh, honey, did your mom not have the talk with you?"
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"You know, when your private parts started growing?"
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"I'm quite aware of the way humans usually reproduce,"
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"which is messy, unsanitary,"
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"involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity."
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"Oh, God."
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"Yes, exactly."
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"Consequently, if Amy and I choose"
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"to bring new life into this world,"
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"it will be accomplished clinically,"
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"with fertility experts in a lab with petri dishes."
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"Which reminds me--"
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"you have broad hips and a certain corn-fed vigor."
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"Is your womb available for rental?"
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"Still digging the Shamy?"
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"Look, Sheldon,"
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"before you race off to the fertility clinic,"
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"you might want to think about--"
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"uh, gee, I don't know--"
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"maybe actually spending some time with her."
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"You mean dating? Yeah."
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"I can't date Amy. Why not?"
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"She's not my girlfriend."
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"Okay, look, don't think of it as dating a girlfriend."
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"Think of it as, uh..."
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"getting to know the future mother of your child."
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"Oh."
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"And you don't think I can achieve"
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"the required intimacy via text messaging?"
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"Probably not."
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"Huh."
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"It would appear as if"
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"Penny."
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"Penny. Penny."
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"You do realize I stand on the other side of the door"
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"waiting for you to finish knocking three times."
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"Yeah, my point is it's a waste of time."
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"If you're looking for an example"
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"of a waste of time, I would refer you"
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"to the conversation we're having right now."
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"What do you want?"
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"I've decided to take your advice and have arranged"
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"to go on a date with Amy Farrah Fowler."
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"Oh, that's great."
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"Have fun. Wait."
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"You have to drive me."
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"What? You know I don't drive."
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"Well, go ask Leonard. I did."
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"He said-- and I quote-- "Ask Penny."
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"Leonard said "cockamamy"?"
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"Actually, I'm paraphrasing."
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"Having been raised in a Christian household,"
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"I'm uncomfortable with the language he used."
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"And to be honest,"
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"I'm not entirely comfortable with "cockamamy.""
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"Okay, fine. When's the date?"
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"Now. Now?"
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"Hurry. We're going to be late."
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"Sheldon, did it ever occur to you"
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"Do you have other plans?"
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"Well, no, not per se, but..."
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"So this conversation is as pointless"
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"as your door-knocking soliloquy?"
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"Let me get my... cockamamy keys."
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"Yeah, that's the spot."
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"Oh, baby."
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"MRS. WOLOWITZ Howard, dinner's ready!"
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"I'll eat later."
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"I'm busy!"
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Just like a real hand."
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"Hmm."
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"You're welcome."
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"I wish you weren't wearing flip-flops."
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"It's dangerous to drive in flip-flops."
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"Sheldon. Sorry."
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"I just don't want to be yet another flip-flop fatality."
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"Given your community college education,"
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"I encourage you to ask me as many as possible."
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"Yeah. Well, my question is--"
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"is this your first date?"
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"That depends."
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"Does square-dancing with my sister"
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"at a Teens for Jesus Fourth of July Hoedown"
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"count as a date?"
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"Okay. Well, then, there's a couple of things"
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"you should probably know."
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"I have a master's degree and two doctorates."
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"My point is, I know more about dating than you,"
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"and if you were as smart as you think you are,"
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"you would listen to me."
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"If you know so much, how come I have a date tonight"
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"and you have nothing better to do than drive me to it?"
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