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Clips from 30 Rock - Murphy Brown Lied to Us (S06E06)

"and also, you saw Tracy Jordan do 11 pushups."
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"I just hope this works."
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"Well, some of your former loved ones"
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"I can see that you're on a skateboard, David."
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"I know we only spent one night together."
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"I don't know what you're talking about."
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"That never happened. Sure it did."
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"and you had these little baby fangs."
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"It feels like only yesterday"
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"but you were the only one who shot my wife."
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"I don't know."
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"Maybe 'cause I'm a season ticket holder?"
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"no. No, let me fin..."
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"let me finish."
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"- Are you... - He's my dad."
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"It's patronizing."
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"I'm Catherine, but everyone calls me Cat."
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"to call me scout, like in to kill a mockingbird."
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"I love that book."
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"I had my first crush on a shop teacher"
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"Yeah, scout's not getting much traction, though."
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"Well, it's hard to force a nickname."
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"I tried to get my high school tennis team"
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"to call me ace,"
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"So we settled on supervirgin."
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"Okay, so I might not get scout,"
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"but I can negotiate up from puked in thermos."
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"Well, then, let me ask you this."
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"to videotape a message for my buddy's bachelor party?"
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"It's "take your daughter to work" day,"
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"and Kabletown's really into all this family shiz."
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"So what have you learned today?"
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"That people who talk the most in meetings"
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"So what's your deal? You ski?"
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"I don't. You know, if I'm gonna fall down a hill and die,"
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"I want to do it for free."
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"Brian. What is up, slick?"
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"Do you think I could pull off a haircut"
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"that people are gonna assume that you're..."
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"I just needed to hear it."
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"So, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
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"or the third woman president."
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"Well played. I am giving you gum for that."
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"What are you doing? What..."
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"game go is not a phrase. I don't know."
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"I just got really wound up at the thought"
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"And he's in trouble, too,"
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"'cause I watched some boxercise videos"
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"on demand before coming down here."
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"Hi. I'm Criss."
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"This is Cat. This is Kevin's daughter."
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"She's awesome, unlike Kevin,"
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"And I did not give it to him."
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"I can't believe you really came down here"
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"to try to fight my date."
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"That hasn't happened to me since senior prom,"
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"when Rob Sussman tried to fight Richard Sallatto"
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"because they had secretly broken up with each other"
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"the night before."
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"'Cause I ran all the way down here."
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"Why didn't you just take the subway?"
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"but I feel the passion is gone"
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"since he left for college."
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"Guys, I'm 11."
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"It's a little funny."
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"I'm sorry, J-Mo."
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"I called the front desk,"
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"I guess I faked this stupid breakdown for nothing."
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"Jenna, I've been thinking."
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"you were faking anything here."
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"You made out with Paz de la Huerta"
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"You tried to dine at balthazar"
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"And you did all that to get some guy's attention."
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"I've never made a mistake,"
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"so I don't totally understand,"
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"Of all the crazy things I did,"
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"Letting Paul go."
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"I'll take this regret to my grave."
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"Where we'll lie on top of each other"
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"in one coffin,"
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"pelvis to face, for eternity."
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"You were here the whole time,"
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"I had to be sure that you wanted"
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"Tracy, if you'll excuse us."
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"No, Paul."
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"- Lemon, how did your date go? - It was amazing,"
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"but not in the way that you would expect."
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"You really thought I'd set you up with Kevin?"
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"on a Halloween party bus."
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"So you set me up on a play date?"
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"you purchased the princess Leia costume"
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"choose to be childless and are content with that."
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"The past few days have only confirmed my fear"
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"so honestly, your country needs"
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"So this has nothing to do with Criss?"
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"I don't care how you do it."
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"and torture inner-city girls about punctuation."
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"Any amount of Lemon is better than the crap"
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"Couches are ready to ship."
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"In trucks."
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"Ship in trucks. What?"
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"I just had to find a buyer who has too much money"
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"will be purchased by your beloved"
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"tax-and-spend government."
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"What are they going to do with them?"
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"to protect gay turtles?"
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"I totally blew off that week of Korean we did."
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"Let's get the translator."
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"- I think maybe I still... - I don't think you should..."
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"- want to be a mom. - Give up on having a kid."
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"Okay. We're on the same page."
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"I'll open a puzzle."
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"Life is happening."
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"Tree bark."
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"Glass. Shotgun shells."
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"It's like chewing a Mountain"
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"that someone shot a freeze ray into."
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"What's wrong with this country? Huh?"
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"Shouldn't everything else be harder?"
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"Actually, I borrowed that book from my mother,"
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