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Clips from American Dad! - Stan Time (S04E04)

"Not wired, but well-rested."
American Dad!
"Like I had a small coffee around 6:30 at night."
American Dad!
"I'm feeling good."
American Dad!
"[Stan] #This is the song that I wrote at 3:00 a.m. #"
American Dad!
"# I taught myself how to play the guitar#"
American Dad!
"# I only know two chords so far#"
American Dad!
"# My fingers hurt 'cause I haven't grown calluses #"
American Dad!
"# I wonder how long it takes to grow calluses #"
American Dad!
"# I bet that's something you could learn on the Internet #"
American Dad!
"# Tomorrow night I'm gonna learn to use the Internet ##"
American Dad!
"[All Laughing]"
American Dad!
"I'm a dad. That's my job."
American Dad!
"Maybe we can spend some time together later-"
American Dad!
"- Just you and me. - I don't know, Francine."
American Dad!
"I work all day, I spend time with the kids, and I gotta sleep."
American Dad!
"- There's only so many hours in the day. - I guess you're right."
American Dad!
"- I'm just being selfish. - Oh, just a little."
American Dad!
"Dick, these pills saved my life. I can't thank you enough."
American Dad!
"- They'll definitely want in. - Oh, no way."
American Dad!
"This time is like a gift from the heavens."
American Dad!
"The last thing I want to do is waste it with my kids..."
American Dad!
"or God forbid, Francine."
American Dad!
"Hey, Dick, do those pills make you hallucinate your wife?"
American Dad!
"Damn. Do they let you go back in time and change the past?"
American Dad!
"Damn. Do they make you fly?"
American Dad!
"Really? But only once? All right, I'll save it for Halloween."
American Dad!
"Yes, they do. Yes, they do. Yes, they do."
American Dad!
"Well, then I'm gonna have to change my costume."
American Dad!
"Bad news about Halloween, Francine."
American Dad!
"You've been taking pills every night so you don't have to sleep?"
American Dad!
"How long has this been going on?"
American Dad!
"I don't know. Six, seven weeks. Hard to tell."
American Dad!
"It's all been like one long day to me."
American Dad!
"What are you doing at night that's making you so happy?"
American Dad!
"Tons of stuff. Like this flip book- Over 30 drawings."
American Dad!
"That's you... falling and then hitting the ground..."
American Dad!
"and then your parachute opens."
American Dad!
"In the next book you become bionic."
American Dad!
"This is what you're doing instead of spending time with your wife?"
American Dad!
"We can't spend this time together anyway, because you're asleep."
American Dad!
"- Not if I take those pills too. - What?"
American Dad!
"Yeah. Then we can both be awake and spend time together."
American Dad!
"[Gasps] We can watch Ken Burns's Jazz."
American Dad!
"No. And let me tell you why."
American Dad!
"You see, there's Stan time, and there's family time."
American Dad!
"You are part of the family."
American Dad!
"I do this. I do this. Now it's a pizza-That you can have."
American Dad!
"Fine. Then I'll take the pills and do my own stuff."
American Dad!
"I'll leave you alone. I promise."
American Dad!
"Okay. I'll give you the pills."
American Dad!
"But after 11:00 p.m. We go our separate ways."
American Dad!
"Can we sometimes meet for a snack?"
American Dad!
"I enjoy a solitary barbecue Lean Pocket at dawn."
American Dad!
"It's become a ritual. You're presence would disrupt that."
American Dad!
"- I think he likes it. - This is terrible!"
American Dad!
"It's completely dated."
American Dad!
"Pool boys and pizza guys nailin' lonely housewives?"
American Dad!
"Maybe I need to find somebody else, Freddie."
American Dad!
"Maybe you don't know sex anymore."
American Dad!
"I assure you, there are two things I know-"
American Dad!
"How to poison a Haitian, and sex."
American Dad!
"who makes his appointments on his P.D.A. - Ooh."
American Dad!
"- Sorry about my girl, H.P. She's on her period. - I love it!"
American Dad!
"- Oh. Oh, no. No way. - Hey!"
American Dad!
"It's settled. You're a team."
American Dad!
"Let me tell you something, Freddie."
American Dad!
"Collaboration is an important thing-"
American Dad!
"not just in writing, but in life."
American Dad!
"Remember, behind every blade of grass..."
American Dad!
"[Video Game Sounds]"
American Dad!
"- What ya doing, Mr. Awake At 3:00 A. M? - Playing Beetman."
American Dad!
"You're a tough, no-nonsense beet trying to survive Farmer Gary's evil garden."
American Dad!
"[Laughs] 'Cause I was thinkin'-"
American Dad!
"Maybe my Francine time could visit your Stan time..."
American Dad!
"Klaus, I've got no interests."
American Dad!
"I thought I liked reading, but then when I remembered what that was..."
American Dad!
"Francine, I'm right in the middle of a Green Bag demonstration."
American Dad!
"Oh, those beautiful strawberries are four months old."
American Dad!
"Oh, sorry, Klaus. You go ahead and watch your show."
American Dad!
"I'll just watch you."
American Dad!
"Hey, that's something I've always liked doing-"
American Dad!
"Watching you swim."
American Dad!
"And I did love going to the aquarium with my dad when I was a girl."
American Dad!
"Maybe one of my interests is remembering."
American Dad!
"Maybe your interest... is fish."
American Dad!
"This is something we could do together."
American Dad!
"Francine, I enjoy a solitary corn dog at 3:00 a.m."
American Dad!
"- Your presence would disrupt that. - That's it!"
American Dad!
"I'm gonna study fish who aren't complete assholes."
American Dad!
"[Video Game Sounds]"
American Dad!
"[Grunting, Laughing]"
American Dad!
"[Game Sounds Continue]"
American Dad!
"## [Orchestra: Waltz]"
American Dad!
"- Yeah! - ## [Continues]"
American Dad!
"[Grunting]"
American Dad!
"## [Continues]"
American Dad!
""Ocean Digest'"? What the hell is this?"
American Dad!
"Oh, it came! I've been published."
American Dad!
""How Modern Geophysical Currents Have Affected the Migration Patterns..."
American Dad!
""of the Elusive and Highly Sought-After Colossal Squid..."
American Dad!
"'Cause it's long."
American Dad!
"Stan, don't you get it? I think I found the colossal squid."
American Dad!
"All the world's oceanographers have been looking for this squid..."
American Dad!
"and I figured out that they were looking in the wrong ocean."
American Dad!
"This is how you choose to spend your extra time?"
American Dad!
"Well, how have you been spending yours?"
American Dad!
"By completing the Beetman video game."
American Dad!
"I also earned an invitation to the Beetman..."
American Dad!
"Regional Championships in Washington."
American Dad!
"This is a confirmation that they received your $300 entrance fee."
American Dad!
"- # Regionals # - Oh, Stan, I just remembered-"
American Dad!
"I have to take a call with the head..."
American Dad!
"of the French Institute for Nautical Exploration."
American Dad!
"But it's daytime. You're talking about nighttime stuff."
American Dad!
"Sorry. This is the only time they could do it."
American Dad!
"Well, then that works out great..."
American Dad!
"Gotta be able to work it with the glare on the tube..."
American Dad!
"because that's gonna be thrown at me."
American Dad!
"Oh, you don't even know, Francine. You don't even know."
American Dad!
"This is even worse than the first draft."
American Dad!
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