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Clips from American Dad! - May the Best Stan Win (S05E05)

"No, no, don't tell me! You know I love surprises."
American Dad!
"If you ruin this for me, I swear to God..."
American Dad!
"Side-by-side funeral plots and a couple's coffin!"
American Dad!
"I thought we could be buried together and hold hands for eternity."
American Dad!
"Francine, that is so sweet."
American Dad!
"And I'm really glad you told me about this..."
American Dad!
"because I won't be needing a funeral plot."
American Dad!
"- What? - I'm gonna be turned into a cyborg after I die."
American Dad!
"A cyborg?"
American Dad!
"Yeah. The C. I.A.'s gonna freeze me..."
American Dad!
"until they have the technology to turn me into a half-man, half-robot."
American Dad!
"This is the face I'm gonna do when they freeze me."
American Dad!
"[Teeth Clenched] It's Han Solo..."
American Dad!
"from Star Trek."
American Dad!
"I already picked out my colors."
American Dad!
"Cobalt blue with gold trim. Sick."
American Dad!
"So, you're not gonna be buried next to me?"
American Dad!
"At death, we part."
American Dad!
"You go underground and I go shooting into the air..."
American Dad!
"flying around like a crazy robot man."
American Dad!
"Unbelievable!"
American Dad!
"You can just sleep on the couch tonight!"
American Dad!
"We're shooting a movie in the next room. Thanks."
American Dad!
"A movie?"
American Dad!
"I piddled some, here on the rug."
American Dad!
"There's a little blood in it, so... enjoy."
American Dad!
"Okay. This is the big scene..."
American Dad!
"where the mannequin turns into a living transvestite..."
American Dad!
"You're the first thing I've ever created that really made me feel like an artist."
American Dad!
"[Roger] Cut! Awful!"
American Dad!
"I directed the episode of Cybill where Christine Baranski sat on her balls."
American Dad!
"Point is, I can direct this thing."
American Dad!
"I'll remake Mannequin on one condition."
American Dad!
"Look at you four. Fat, nerdy, smart-mouthed, Asian."
American Dad!
"You guys are The Goonies!"
American Dad!
"# What's good enough for you is good enough for me #"
American Dad!
"# It's good enough #"
American Dad!
"# It's good enough for me #"
American Dad!
"# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah ##"
American Dad!
"[Groaning]"
American Dad!
"Marinate it with a marinade."
American Dad!
"Oh, that's not enough marinade."
American Dad!
"- [Grunts] What's going on? - I realized I have been selfish."
American Dad!
"It has been all about me."
American Dad!
"But it's time we make it all about you."
American Dad!
"[Francine] You made me love coupons?"
American Dad!
"It starts with brunch and gets progressively more romantic as it goes."
American Dad!
"It ends with us doing something so dirty, we'll both have intestinal distress for a month."
American Dad!
"Oh."
American Dad!
"And that's not all."
American Dad!
"I've also decided to join you in that lovers' coffin."
American Dad!
"[Rumbling]"
American Dad!
"[Broad Accent] Stan, I'm you from the future. We need to talk."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God. It's me... as a cyborg!"
American Dad!
"- I'm awesome! - But you tore up the contract."
American Dad!
"Wait! This is the dishwasher warranty!"
American Dad!
"What happens if it breaks down?"
American Dad!
"It does."
American Dad!
"Stan, I've traveled back, like, a thousand years, man."
American Dad!
"- We need to talk about the future. - Why do you have an accent?"
American Dad!
"Yeah. It's like a mix of Mexican and Canadian."
American Dad!
"Oh, yeah, yeah."
American Dad!
"My God. A great nation defeated by an army of gardeners and boring people."
American Dad!
"I need to train you so you can stop it from happening."
American Dad!
"You'll save the world, man, eh?"
American Dad!
"I save the world."
American Dad!
"I knew it. Fuckin' knew it."
American Dad!
"That's it. Out of here, both of you!"
American Dad!
"- I'm going back to bed alone. - Francine."
American Dad!
"Fine. I have so much to ask you about the future..."
American Dad!
"like do I ever truly fall in love?"
American Dad!
"[Birds Chirping]"
American Dad!
"Wakey, wakey, gringo."
American Dad!
"we got to spend all your time getting ready, okay?"
American Dad!
"The evil machines of the future are based on today's electronics, okay?"
American Dad!
"You got a problem with me?"
American Dad!
"[Grunts]"
American Dad!
"Stan, I love that thing!"
American Dad!
"Should we kill her now?"
American Dad!
"Francine, I must train."
American Dad!
"These coupons say they're good anytime."
American Dad!
"- I'll be in the car. - [Door Closes]"
American Dad!
"Looks like no training today for me, Future Stan."
American Dad!
"Not necessarily, bromigo."
American Dad!
"I'm not going anywhere with you."
American Dad!
"The coupon didn't say anything about which Stan it has to be."
American Dad!
"Treasure map!"
American Dad!
"[Groans] We've done this 40 times. What's wrong now?"
American Dad!
"And... action!"
American Dad!
"A treasure map."
American Dad!
"Give it to me! I'll kill you! The treasure's mine!"
American Dad!
"Oh, right. Right."
American Dad!
"So let's take it from the top..."
American Dad!
"right after I get that treasure!"
American Dad!
"Don't go anywhere. I'm on my way back."
American Dad!
"Everybody loves it in the future."
American Dad!
"##[Fades]"
American Dad!
"This actually turned out to be a really nice Valentine's Day."
American Dad!
"I've missed you."
American Dad!
"You know, the last time I saw you, you were in the electric chair."
American Dad!
"You looked so tired. You'd been running for so long."
American Dad!
"I must rest."
American Dad!
"[Groans] I can't deal with him right now."
American Dad!
"[Snoring, Muttering]"
American Dad!
"Oh, I remember that dream. It's a puppy dream."
American Dad!
"Eat those puppies, Stan. Eat them till you're full."
American Dad!
"I could, but it's not logical."
American Dad!
"Mmm! This French toast is so good."
American Dad!
"You have to try it."
American Dad!
"[Moaning]"
American Dad!
"Nice bite, Nardo."
American Dad!
"- Come on. Let's train. - Okay, Stan."
American Dad!
"In the future, all fighting happens very low..."
American Dad!
"So I'm gonna show you some kicks and punches that attack the ankles."
American Dad!
"Okay, so this is the move."
American Dad!
"Sweep low, chop low, swing low."
American Dad!
"Got it. You don't have to tell me twice. I remember it exactly."
American Dad!
"Chop low, Rob Lowe, Chad Lowe."
American Dad!
"Chop low, Rob Lowe, Chad Lowe."
American Dad!
"Chop low, Rob Lowe, Chad Lowe."
American Dad!
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