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Clips from 30 Rock - Subway Hero (S02E02)

"The Republican Party sounds pretty attuned"
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"to my unique way of life."
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"But I'd be turning my back on my people to support it."
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"You put me in a quandary, Jack Donaghy."
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"A quandary."
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"We had what we called "sandwich girls.""
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"Oh, because they got you sandwiches?"
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"You know, that reminds me..."
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""For 5 bucks, I will.""
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"how we used to go to the park and make fun of all the joggers."
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"Oh, yeah. "I'm gonna run in a circle so I can live longer!""
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"Hold on a second."
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"You watching your figure, there, sweetheart?"
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""Very funny"? How would you know?"
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"Here. Here's some lettuce from my burger."
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"Are you gonna cry? Yeah, she's gonna cry."
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"Hey. Hey, Frank... Give her some lettuce."
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"Explain this."
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""Subway Hero Dennis Duffy and actress Sally Field"?"
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"Entertaining a guest of the show is called being professional."
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"He can't get credit cards, Jenna,"
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"because his cousin Teddy used Dennis' Social"
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"to get a cellphone that Teddy then couldn't pay for"
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"because this Indian guy that he was working for..."
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"Oh. Sir. Hmm?"
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"Well, I never left."
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"I didn't run into another single living soul."
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"Who is Conan O'Brien, and... why is she so sad?"
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"What is this place?"
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"It's... purgatory, Tracy."
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"Richard Nixon?"
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"I can't believe I'm dead."
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"So many different kind of buckets I wanted to own."
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"Buckets."
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"It's never too late, Tracy."
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"We've lost some prestige because of the Bush administration."
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"But there's a long history of black entertainers"
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"supporting the GOP."
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"Tracy. Babe."
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"He sure was. Black. Jewish. One eye. A white wife."
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"Help us..."
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"to make it a big tent once again."
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"Dennis. Hey, Jack."
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"What are your politics?"
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"Social conservative, fiscal liberal."
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"I can't help McCain. He's a Navy man."
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"All right, fine. I admit it."
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"Dinner with Dennis last night was fun."
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"Oh, God. Liz!"
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"What? I don't like a lot of people, Jenna,"
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"But you know better."
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"Do you know what I use my oven for?"
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"My cologne is distilled"
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"You know, you can't overthink stuff."
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"That wardrobe is wack."
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"I want a leather jacket"
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"and a porkpie hat for my head."
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"This photo shoot's got to be phenomenal."
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"You seem like a man who knows exactly what he wants."
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"Good luck with that, Dennis."
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"No luck needed, Jack. She bought me dinner last night."
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"I'm in."
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"Like a killer whale going nuts on his trainer at SeaWorld."
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"But not Dennis Duffy."
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"I don't have to be clever or nice."
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"even when you're sleeping."
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"Love is wearing makeup to bed"
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"and going downstairs to the Burger King to poop"
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"and hiding alcohol in perfume bottles."
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"That's love."
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"Ugh. That just sounds hard."
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"If you give in to it,"
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"you just start to feel kind of numb and warm, and..."
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"It's not that bad."
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"when you freeze to death."
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"Oh, whoa, whoa. Look at... There I am."
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"Yeah, me and the boys. Yeah."
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"Boy."
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"Men were men back then, I'll tell ya."
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"it wasn't gay."
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"No."
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"It was just two men..."
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"Nixon's ghost convinced my ghost to help the GOP."
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"God bless that wiretapping bastard! This is great!"
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"The McCain dinner is Saturday!"
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"Know what? Doesn't matter. Just getting through the week."
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"My woman. Huh?"
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"I tell you, everything is starting to go my way, Liz,"
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"Aww! Aww! Aww! Aww!"
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"Elizabeth Sarah Lemon..."
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"...will you marry me?"
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"Will you marry me or what?"
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"No! No way!"
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"Hey, what is your problem, Liz?"
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"And not just the fatties and the butter-faces."
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"to give me a squeezer last night... a white stripper."
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"You are not a hero. You're a loser."
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"And you will always be a loser!"
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"You suck!"
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"And so do all New York-based sports teams!"
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"Liz, don't say anything you can't take back!"
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"My fellow black Americans,"
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"Dr. King once had a dream... a dream that we all share..."
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"to build a 200-foot-high wall to keep Mexico out."
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"And he also hated the estate tax."
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"Unbelievable."
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"Jack, I don't know about this. What's wrong?"
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"I get it... The Republican Party means"
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"less taxes, more guns, and the end of the gun tax."
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"Go on."
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"No matter what,"
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"Blackmericans are gonna always vote Democrat."
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"Unless..."
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"Black people, don't vote!"
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"Just don't do it!"
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"In the amount of time it takes for you to vote,"
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"you could play three games of pool."
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"Three!"
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"Now, that's fresh."
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"I'm Tracy Jordan, and I improved this message."
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