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Clips from The Good Place - Best Self (S02E02)

"So this really is the end."
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"Not completely out of options."
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"Ignore our problems, and drink heavily."
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"Janet!"
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"- You all right? - Kind of."
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"and he said no."
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"to make my voice sound funny so it cheers everyone up,"
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"and he just kind of sighed and walked away."
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"I think perhaps given everything,"
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"for my sense of self-worth or happiness."
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"You know my whole life,"
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"whenever I encountered any obstacles,"
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"I would simply say, "I would like to speak to a manager.""
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"There was no one who could fix this for me except me."
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"My mom was a manager at a pet store."
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"- She got fired after I... - Please, no."
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"Robbed the pet store where she worked."
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"- Please, please, Jason. - We actually"
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"- robbed it together. - No, no, no."
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"Long story short, it was all a dream."
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"Thank you, Jason, for making this moment"
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"a little easier for me."
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"But, uh, in case feelings aren't stupid,"
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"I thought it might be worth mentioning"
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"that I do..."
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"Have feelings for you."
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"And I know you don't feel the same way."
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"And although that fills me with anger and confusion..."
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"Wow. Michael was right on the money."
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"I just wanted you to know the truth."
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"You are... I mean..."
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"I want to. I want to."
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"Here's the thing about me."
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"That's the sound that my brain makes all the time."
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"about things I'm afraid of"
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"or want to want to..."
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"And that just makes the grinding harder."
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"or after one of my philosophy lectures."
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"Or you came knocking on my office door"
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"asking for help with philosophy."
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"Is that how you think people meet?"
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"I don't know how normal people meet."
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"You're such a nerd."
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"Attention, everyone."
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"We may not know exactly which version of ourselves"
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"was technically our best self,"
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"I like who we are right now."
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"To this version of us."
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"To the good people we've all become."
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"Oh, and to Eleanor, our unofficial leader."
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"You pack a lot of heart and grit"
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"into that diminutive frame."
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"Like a scrappy little auto mechanic."
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"- Girl. - Not a girl."
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"Any of us could have ever asked for."
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"Thanks, guys."
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"Oh, she's done. She's not gonna give a speech."
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"Ooh! One more toast."
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"To Michael!"
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"- Michael! - Whoo-whoo! Hoo-hoo!"
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"Who is easily the best version of himself."
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"But he made a mistake and admitted he was wrong,"
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"which makes him better than 90% of all humans."
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"And you know what, it wasn't really Michael's fault."
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"I mean, look at us."
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"A self-obsessed socialite,"
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"a narcissistic attention seeker."
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"- Are these all me? - Yes."
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"I was gonna do eight for you, and one for everyone else."
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"just try your best."
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"So we hereby name you an honorary human."
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"And we would like to present you"
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"with this human starter kit."
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"Car keys!"
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"So I could lose them, and say, "Has anyone seen my car keys?""
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"I can do that you know that thing where..."
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"Thank you!"
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"And Band-Aids for your stupid, fragile bodies."
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"A stress ball with a dumb corporate logo."
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"and then almost throw it away, and then think,"
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"Oh, guys."
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"This is all garbage that I have no real use for."
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"That's right. Welcome to being human, buddy."
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"To Michael!"
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"- You don't remember? - No."
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"- Of course you don't! - That's mean!"
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""Finish shutting everything down."
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""Sending train first thing tomorrow."
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""Although weirdly,"
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""I did just finish turning someone into soup."
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"So random. Okay. Bye.""
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"I'll probably go to a Skrillex concert."
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"And I'll be waiting for the bass drop,"
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"and it..."
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"it'll never come."
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"For me it'll be camping."
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"I'm pretty good at turning every place I go"
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"into my personal hell,"
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"Mine will obviously be an eternity"
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"spent in the Swiss Alps."
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"That sounds amazing."
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"In Autumn. The off-season."
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"Who are we kidding?"
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"You'll probably be running the place in like a week."
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"- Again! Again! - "Your manager.""
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"Wait, you said that there was a judge who decides on disputes"
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"between the Good Place and the Bad Place, right?"
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"and plead our case to"
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"I thought about that. It's a non-starter."
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"Judge rarely hears cases."
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"And the only way to get to the Judge's office"
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"is through a portal, and we can never get to that."
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"Why not?"
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"in plain sight, without getting caught."
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"Reach and pass through the portal,"
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"even though we didn't go through the proper channels."
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"And then somehow win our unwinnable case."
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"Yeah! What do we have to lose?"
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"All I've ever really wanted was to know"
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"what it feels like to be human,"
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