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Clips from The Good Place - What's My Motivation (S01E01)

"Do you even remember how you died?"
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"No, not really."
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"It's a little fuzzy."
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"You and your friend Pillboi were trying to rob a restaurant."
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"Pillboi!"
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"So the plan was to pretend to install a safe"
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"with your friend hiding inside it."
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"He pops out, steals the money from the restaurant,"
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"gets back in the safe, then you come in and uninstall it."
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"I refuse to discuss my fifth amendment rights"
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"until I concur with your attorney."
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"Sure."
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"Look, we found your buddy's plans."
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"You were just an accomplice."
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"If you're lucky, you might get probation."
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"- Jason going to jail? - No, man."
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"Jason's dead. He suffocated in that safe."
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"There were no air holes."
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"Plus he did a bunch of whippits while he was in there,"
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"which couldn't have helped."
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"At least he died doing what he loved..."
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"a bunch of whippits."
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"Now he's never gonna get the life he truly deserved."
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"Eh, I think he got roughly what he deserved."
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"I suffocated to death in... in a safe?"
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"I'm a moron."
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"Hey... hey, Janet?"
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"Hi, there."
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"- Janet, you need to leave me. - Why?"
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"You're the smartest girl in the world..."
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"- I'm not a girl. - And your dad is an angel."
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"I mean, what a family."
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"I'm just a dope who died in a safe"
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"with a snorkel..."
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"who's only now realizing"
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"why that didn't work."
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"You should be with someone better."
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"I don't deserve you."
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"Jason, you are all that I care about,"
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"possibly because I did not have the capacity to care"
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"about anything before you."
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"I love you."
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"Also, interesting sidenote,"
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"I think I might hate things now, too."
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"So far, it's genocide and leggings as pants."
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"This is nuts."
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"Just weighing in over here."
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"This is bonkers."
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"Okay, I have to go reboot Janet."
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"- Why? - It's the only thing"
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"I can think of to do to get rid of this glitch."
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"Yo, who you calling a glitch?"
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"It means "error," Jason, which is what this is."
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"Oh, really? Is it an error"
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"to act unpredictably and behave in ways"
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"that run counter to how you were"
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"programmed to behave?"
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"Yes."
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"Now, you two sit tight."
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"I'm gonna go murder Janet, and I'll be right back."
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"Look on the bright side."
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"When you're rebooted,"
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"I can teach you all the Dorito flavors again."
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"What if he reboots me, and we fall out of love?"
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"We have to get out of here right now."
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"Where do you suppose she is?"
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"I hope she's okay."
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"You know, the more I work on her case,"
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"the more I think she truly belongs here."
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"I'm... I'm sorry that I haven't been able to say..."
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"what you want me to say,"
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"because I-I do want to say it."
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"What's holding you back?"
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"Honestly, my biggest fear is just making sure"
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"that my motivation for saying it..."
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"Chidi?"
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"- Wow. - How did she suddenly...?"
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"Her motivation changed."
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"She couldn't earn enough points by apologizing to everyone here"
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"because she was only doing it to earn enough points to stay here."
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"which means that she's decided not to stay here,"
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"Oh, hey, Janet. I was just about to call you"
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"to ask you to get me a train to the Bad Place."
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"- Whoa, what? - You have to be a good person"
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"to stay here, and I can't become a good person unless I leave."
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"You don't belong here,"
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"Jason doesn't belong here,"
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"and now that I can think and feel, I don't belong here either."
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"- Where are you going with this? - There is a woman named Mindy St. Clair"
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"who lives in a neutral zone by herself."
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"A Medium Place?"
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"Dude, that's where I belong."
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"I've been saying that since day one."
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"It's where Jason and I are going."
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"Would you like to come with us to Mindy's house?"
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"Yeah. Let's go hang with Mindy."
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"That sounds great. Love her, huge fan."
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"Call the train."
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"Look, there it is now."
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"I did not call that train."
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"That train belongs to Shawn,"
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"Can you make that train go to Mindy's house?"
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"- Yep. - Then we have to go right now."
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"I just have to run home real quick and hit save"
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"on the Madden game I was playing because Blake Bortles"
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"has, like, 300 yards passing in the first half..."
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"Shawn. Ooh."
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"- Michael. - Sorry I wasn't here"
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"to greet you. I, uh, had something"
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"Okay, I've hacked into the mainframe."
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"Kidding."
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"I can't hack into the mainframe."
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"Technically, I am the mainframe."
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"Would you just hurry up?"
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"I'm here to rule on the fate of Fake Eleanor Shellstrop."
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"Yes, yes, um, I think we have a rock solid case for Fake Eleanor."
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"I truly believe she's a good person."
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"Are you sure?"
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"Because I believe she's stealing my train."
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"I'm sorry, Michael."
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