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Clips from The Golden Girls - Ladies of the Evening (S02E02)

"This is the biggest disappointment of my life."
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"Yes."
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"And I've known some real disappointment, believe me."
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"You're not gonna tell us that story about the exploding pig again, are you?"
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"I never told you a story about an exploding pig, Dorothy."
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"It was a peg-legged pig."
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"Our possum was the one that exploded."
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"Forgive me, Rose. With so many possum explosions, it's hard to keep track."
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"So what was this great disappointment in your life?"
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"What an actress."
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"She was so good in Gone With The Wind."
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"I wanted to be Miss Olivia de Havilland myself."
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"- Blanche, are you listening? - Bits and pieces."
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"Go on, Rose."
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"Butter Queen was our town's highest honour."
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"From the time I was born my folks groomed me for it."
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"Singing lessons, dancing lessons, junior butter pageants."
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"For 16 years my entire life revolved around butter."
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"You were very fortunate. So many of us wasted our youth."
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"When the time came for the pageant, I was incredible."
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"I showed poise in the evening-gown competition."
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"I was brilliant in the oral butter quiz."
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"They couldn't even trip me up with a trick margarine question."
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"That evening butter was spelt R-O-S-E."
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"Rose, you're embarrassing yourself. Please don't go on."
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"I have to. I've kept these bitter butter memories too long."
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"As the pageant drew to its frenzied finale,"
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"churning my guts out."
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"When all of a sudden, for no apparent reason, my churn jammed."
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"- Oh, no. - Yes."
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"And just like that, it was over."
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"I'd lost."
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"It was the biggest disappointment in my life."
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"It was small consolation to find out, years later,"
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"there had been churn-tampering involved."
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"Blanche. Rose, we're going to the other end of the cell."
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"Don't cross this line."
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"Did I hear you say that you were from St Olaf?"
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"- Yes. - I'm from St Gustaf."
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"We're neighbours. My name's Meg."
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"I'm Rose. What are you doing here, Meg?"
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"I was arrested for being a hooker, like you."
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"I'm not a hooker. I was arrested by mistake."
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"That's what I always tell the judge, too."
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"How did you get mixed up in this?"
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"I don't know."
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"Things were bad at home."
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"I ended up in Miami."
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"It just happened."
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"Nothing could be bad enough at home"
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"for you to end up doing what you're doing."
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"But you can't be happy with your life."
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"- I don't wanna talk about it. - If you ever wanna talk,"
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"you know, neighbour to neighbour, I'm here."
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"Arrested for prostitution. I can't believe it."
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"Sophia, we're innocent."
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"How can these cops think anyone would pay to sleep with you?"
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"Sophia, did you come to bail us out?"
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"No, Rose, she's dropping off a manicotti with a file in it."
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"We're gonna see Burt after all."
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"I thought these tickets were gonna go to waste."
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"Which one of you isn't going?"
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"I'm the one who won the tickets."
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"It's my mom who's bailing us out."
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"I lost Butter Queen. Haven't I suffered enough?"
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"- We'll flip a coin. - No."
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"Sophia, now try and be understanding."
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"Understanding? I came to bail you out and you won't let me go?"
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"Ma, stop complaining and get us out of here."
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"Where are your roommates?"
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"- They're not here. - Ma."
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"Don't "Ma" me, you cheap floozy."
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"Ma, you would do this to your own flesh and blood?"
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"You'll get over it. If you don't, who cares? I'm off to see Burt Reynolds."
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"And then, you're gonna love this,"
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"Dom DeLuise insists I tell Burt the story."
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"Sophia, I don't wanna hear any more."
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"Not even the part where Burt and Dom insisted I tell it to Loni?"
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"That's it. I don't wanna hear another word."
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"Cinderella's back from the ball"
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"and her wicked roommates are jealous."
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"We are not jealous, Ma. We are angry. You left us in jail."
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"I sent bail money. You were out an hour later."
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"That was the time I was nibbling a giant shrimp out of Jerry Reed's hand."
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"You're making this up just to rub it in."
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"You have never met these people."
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"Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy."
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"And so are you in anything backless."
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"- Do you wanna know why? - No."
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"Meg. Come in."
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"I can't, my taxi's waiting."
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"I just wanted to stop by and say thank you."
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"- For what? - For convincing me to go home."
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"I figured I'd give it another try."
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"Oh, that's great."
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"What was it I said?"
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"Nothing."
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"I didn't wanna be your age and still be in the business."
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"Well, good luck."
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"I've never felt so good..."
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"...and so cheap in my whole life."
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"At least something good came out of that horrible night."
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"- Sophia around? - Hi, Burt."
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"- How about a little lunch? - How about a big lunch?"
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"My God."
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"You're Mr Burt Reynolds."
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"I hope so, otherwise I got the wrong underwear on."
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"- These your roommates? - Yeah."
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"- Which one's the slut? - I am."
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"But before he could step out of the way,"
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"And Burt is the sexiest man in the movies."
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"The room is 50, the young lady's 100."
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"Even I don't get that one."
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"Everybody is under arrest. It's a raid."
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"It's always a man with you. Men and sex, sex and men."
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"Just get off my back. You think I'm happy about being arrested?"
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"there I was, alongside the other two finalists,"
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"Sophia."
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"- We'll draw straws. - No."
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"Yep."
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