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Clips from Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021) - New Patty (S01E01)

"You see, Allison doesn't know squat about fast food,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"bless her heart."
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"She's simple."
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"She's narrow-minded."
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"She's right here."
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"She likes salad."
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"Allison would never pick up a burger for anyone."
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"But you?"
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"You shoulda known better."
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"The group can't have that."
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"excommunicated."
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"What that means is that you are no longer allowed in"
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"Yeah, well, in this case, it's the church of Kevin."
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"This isn't easy on any of us,"
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"but you're free now to start a new gang."
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"You can take Allison."
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"Gee, thanks."
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"Hey! Sorry. Reflex."
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"And we will move on as well."
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"This town is flush with Pattys."
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"It's a buyers' market for Pattys."
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"Happy shopping."
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"You can tell by Allison's wardrobe."
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"-Hey! -Sorry. Reflex."
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"-I think that went great. -I think so."
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"Hey."
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"What?"
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"Yeah. I'm fine. Whatever."
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"You know he's gonna change his mind in, like, two minutes."
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"It's how he is."
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"I-I don't want him to change his mind."
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"I don't care."
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"Okay, well, you know what would cheer you up?"
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"I said I don't care."
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"Why would we do something if we knew it was stupid?"
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"We can, like, break into the community pool"
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"and go swimming, or we could go to the Seas"
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"and scam drinks off married guys."
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"I'm gonna go home and eat a really big burrito."
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"Jesus Christ."
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"Don't worry. It's just me."
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"Yeah, and who the hell are you? How'd you get in here?"
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"I picked the lock at the back."
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"You know, this place has been here forever."
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"Business must be good."
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"Yeah. People always need haircuts."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"C-Cindy?"
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"Cindy is your --"
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"Real bad pill problem, though."
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"I'm a family man."
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"So, if you think about it,"
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"Um, what did you think was happening?"
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"That my little old auntie"
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"was throwing back two bottles a week?"
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"Come on."
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"She's got knee issues."
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"There are plenty of people with "issues" in this town,"
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"and you've been helping out a lot of 'em."
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"Half my friends buy through you."
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"That-- That's not possible."
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"when your ladies started to put in bulk orders."
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"I get that. I do."
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"Why complicate things?"
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"you gotta answer to all your real customers."
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"Back again."
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"I'm nothing if not thorough."
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"I think we covered everything."
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"Well, that's kind of for me to say, right?"
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"and I heard some stuff about this area."
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"You know of any -- Nick Wyndorff."
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"You bet, Detective Ridgeway."
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"Yeah. I don't really know anything about that."
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"Maybe it ended with the guy at Fiore's."
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"No. I think I have a pretty good lead beyond that."
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"Oh, good."
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"Drugs are..."
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"bad."
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"Well, I -- What?"
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"You should come to a work thing with me."
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"-A work thing? -Yeah, it'll be, um, fun."
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"We can hang out, talk some more."
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"Uh, sure. Yeah. Def-- Def-- Yeah."
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"Uh, that sounds good."
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"Well, great."
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"I'm sure I'll be seeing you, Nick."
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"Nick?"
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"Oh, my God."
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"Another beer, please?"
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"God, it's like I'm invisible."
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"If only."
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"You're like a bumper sticker, Neil."
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"You're the only one who doesn't have to look at you."
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"It's times like this I just wish that Patty would --"
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"Uh, sorry."
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"I meant to say "She-Devil.""
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"-She was our enforcer. -Please."
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"Hey, bartender."
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"Let me get some more buffalo sauce for my grilled cheese."
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"My friend."
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"You just ordered buffalo sauce for your grilled cheese?"
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"I was unaware that was on the menu."
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"It's not."
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"But I don't order from the menu."
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"Not in here."
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"Whoa, I think that's deep."
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"What do you call that little baby?"
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"I call it a Paddy Melt."
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"My name's Patrick, but everybody calls me "Paddy.""
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"Paddy Melt."
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"Patty... Paddy."
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"Patty, Paddy. -Come on."
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"Kevin taketh and the Good Lord giveth."
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"Sir, why don't you come join us here?"
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"Alright."
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"Hey, bartender, food, there."
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"Did he just guess my name?"
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"Thank you."
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"Well, that's what happens when it's 20 degrees"
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"and the heat is still broken."
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